Prayer Of An Engaged Couple
Engaged Couples Spiritual Checklist
Pope Francis recently advised engaged couples to take time to prepare spiritually for their lives together. Most brides-to-be are busy creating Pinterest boards and checklists of things that need to get done before the big day. Details such as flowers, colors, napkins, and centerpieces are painstakingly agonized over.
Grooms often get wrapped up in details of the bachelor party and honeymoon, as well as making final decisions over menu and cake options. There is no other season of life quite the engagement period. However, many couples become so focused on the day, that they forget to plan for the lifetime.
We have a checklist for you of the spiritual things you should be doing in preparation not just for your wedding day, but for your marriage.
From the date of engagement – 6 months before the wedding:
1. Pray together. It can be as simple as saying, “Thank you God for the gift of my future spouse. Bless us and help us prepare for marriage.” Establish a routine of when and how you will pray together. Many couples find the good night phone call a great way to include a prayer and close the day.
2. Recommit yourselves and keep praying for strength to remain pure until your wedding day. God wants you to have this gift to give to your spouse. If you have had difficulty with this in your relationship, go to Confession and begin again. God makes all things new.
3. Begin meeting with a priest to help guide your spiritual preparation for your marriage.
4. Find a mentor couple that can also help you prepare for marriage.
5. Start watching the Beloved dvd series created to help couples prepare for marriage.
6. Register to take a class on Natural Family Planning. Find out more information about the options.
3-6 months before the wedding:
1. Register and attend a retreat for engaged couples. This will be a special way for you to prepare spiritually for your wedding. The time away from the busy season of wedding preparation will be much needed for you and your future spouse. The Pre-Cana retreat offered by many parishes and the Engaged Encounter retreat are good places to start looking.
2. Read Alessandro Manzoni’s “The Betrothed” together. Pope Francis recently encouraged engaged couples to read this book, which he described as a “masterpiece”.
3. As you prepare your guest list, invite God to your wedding. Think about ways you can incorporate the witness of your love and your relationship with Christ into not just your ceremony, but your reception.
A few ideas: Instead of having the groom remove the bride’s garter, have him wash her feet as a sign of Christ’s love for His Church; Instead of a traditional favor, give your guests rosaries or prayer cards; For a first dance, choose a song with lyrics that showcase your values.
1-3 months before the wedding:
1. Meditate on the scriptures that you have chosen for your ceremony. Incorporate them into your daily prayer.
2. Look for a Novena to begin to pray before your wedding day. We suggest a novena to either St. Joseph or St. Raphael. For a little help with this check out http://www.praymorenovenas.com .
3. Prepare a prayer that you will be able to read at your wedding shower. This is a way to show others your love for God and appreciation for the gift of marriage.
4. Schedule a time to take each of your parents out to dinner. Take this time to honor them and to seek their advice for your future marriage. You may also wish to give them a special gift to say thank you for the many ways they have supported you through the years.
5. Plan a time to have your families gather to pray for you as a couple.
6. When buying gifts for your wedding party, try to incorporate something that will help them grow in their faith and relationship with Christ.
7. Find a meaningful spiritual gift to give your future spouse on the wedding day. Take the time to write a love letter to him or her as well. This will be a cherished gift for years to come.
The Week Of The Wedding:
1. This will be a busy week, but plan in advance a time with your priest to go to Confession.
2. Make time to go to Adoration with you fiance.
3. Read the passages from the Catechism (1601-1666) on marriage and the graces that come with this sacrament.
4. Choose something for both you and your future spouse to fast from (social media, tv, chocolate, etc) during this week.
5. Make God’s presence known at your rehearsal dinner. Write a prayer for the evening and honor Him for the joy He is bringing into your lives.
The Wedding Day:
1. Begin your day with prayer and praise. Relax and trust that God has all the details under control.
2. Many couples will find a way to pray together without seeing one another. Some use the confessional to do this, others find a wall and stand holding hands. This beautiful picture of this young bride and groom praying before their wedding has gone viral.
3. Participate fully in your ceremony. Don’t let your nerves distract you from the joy and grace being bestowed on you!
4. Be a witness to marital love and purity at your reception.
5. Prepare for your first night together as a married couple by starting it with a prayer. Read Song of Songs to one another. Rejoice in the gift God has given!
The perfect family doesn’t exist, nor is there a perfect husband or a perfect wife, and let’s not talk about the perfect mother-in-law! It’s just us sinners.” A healthy family life requires frequent use of three phrases: “May I? Thank you, and I’m sorry” and “never, never, never end the day without making peace. Pope Francis. Meeting with engaged couples, Feb. 14, 2014.
Preparing for Marriage: 10 Preparation Tips for Engaged Couples
Preparing for marriage can easily be overlooked by the plans you have for your wedding day.
You will probably spend more money and time preparing for your wedding day than actually preparing for your marriage.
We believe if you spent half of the time spent on preparing for your wedding day on preparing for your marriage, you will be well prepared to build a lasting marriage.
That’s why we wrote this First Year of Marriage book to help newlyweds and engaged couples build a strong foundation for their marriage.
Failure to adequately prepare for marriage could lead to an unhappy marriage or an early divorce.
Spend time preparing for your marriage
It’s the best thing you can do for your marriage. At the very least, you will learn:
⇒ About communication in marriage and how to communicate with your spouse.
⇒ How to adjust to married life.
⇒ How to clarify your marriage expectations.
⇒ How to agree on money, pay the bills, set financial goals, create a family budget, etc
⇒ How to resolve conflicts, arguments, and compromise with your spouse.
⇒ How to assess your differences on various issues sex, finances, parenting, politics, etc.
⇒ How to set marriage and family goals.
⇒ How to prepare for the marriage challenges that lay ahead; as soon as possible.
⇒ How to dream together as a couple.
⇒ How to appreciate each other.
And other great things that have helped many couples to have great marriages.
If you have a healthy and happy marriage, your children will benefit immensely from it. Your marriage plays a big impact on your parenting. Children learn a lot from their parents.
10 Preparation tips for engaged couples and newlyweds
If you were to ask us for advice towards preparation for your marriage, below are 10 preparation tips we will tell you:
1) Marriage is hard work, but it is worth it.
You may not be able to see any problems in your future. But the hard times will come.
It could even start with something as simple as changing your name after marriage.
However, you must stick together, and figure out how to work through these times.
2) You will have a lot of personal growth to go through.
Look inward before pointing the finger.
3) Your spouse may not understand what you think they should.
Learning how to communicate is key for a healthy, happy, and lasting marriage!
4) You are going to have to be on the same page with everything from finances to raising children to sex.
Might as well start these conversations now!
5) You will both evolve as a person in your opinions, and beliefs.
So keep the conversation going and share the experience together so you won’t grow apart.
6) Remember, your spouse has the best intentions for you.
7) Don’t forget to keep an open mind and be flexible.
8) Learn each other’s love language, and then learn to speak it. If both spouses put each other first, it’s a win-win.
9) Make your relationship the priority.Keep safe boundaries as a hedge around it from people and activities that could harm it.
10) Build your friendship, dream and have fun together. Your spouse should be your best friend.
The longer you are married, the deeper that friendship should grow.
One of our loyal readers, Chris’s advice for couples preparing for marriage is this:
“It is important to always try to look at things from both sides. Compromise is key, and never be afraid to apologize.”
These 10 things are a great way to open your mind to the changes, adjustments, and challenges that will occur in your marriage.
Invest time, money, or other resources in preparing for marriage to increase your chances of having a lasting marriage.
We encourage you to visit this first year of marriage tips page. It’s the best resource we have for engaged couples and newlyweds.
What we did in preparation for our marriage
Before we got married, we had a pre-marriage conversation with a great married couple whose marriage we admired.
We also bought this workbook, Before You Say “I Do” by H Norman Wright and did all the sessions together.
In addition to reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Dave’s book enabled both of us to be on the same page with our finances.These two books helped us to prepare for marriage in many areas. Some of the areas include communication, setting marriage goals, deciding on the kind of things we needed as a family, revealing our financial history, debt, past family issues, and discussing everything.
Yes, we mean everything.
As a result, we always recommend engaged and married couples to read some of the best marriage books that have impacted many marriages.
Although these are the main things we did while preparing for marriage, we highly recommend you go a step further than us when preparing for your marriage.
Taking a marriage prep class or marriage preparation course online will definitely be a big plus for you.
Ideas on how to prepare for marriage
Knowing how to prepare for marriage is completely different from preparing for a wedding.
If you plan for vacations, a date night, Halloween, sporting events, etc. why not plan for your marriage?
The good news is that there are many resources that can help you; most will not cost you an arm and leg.
For the cost of a wedding cake or even less, you and your future spouse could become well prepared for marriage.
Simply read a premarital counseling book, or take marriage prep class to prepare for your marriage.
Plan for your marriage more than your wedding day, trust us, you will not regret it.
So how do you prepare for marriage?
Below are six ideas on how to prepare for marriage:
1. Schedule a date and time to have a pre-marriage conversation with one or two married couples you admire.
2. Find pre-marital counseling books that you both and go through all the sections with your future spouse.
3. Attend a pre-marriage seminar, conference, or workshop.
4. You can schedule a pre-marriage counseling session with a pastor or a pre-marriage coaching session with a marriage coach.
5. You can take a marriage preparation course online at your own pace and in the comfort of your home.
6. Check your local community for marriage prep classes too.
“Failing to plan, is planning to fail.” Benjamin Franklin
Lastly, check out these newlywed books we highly recommend for your marriage preparation.
And read our best articles for couples in their first year of marriage.
Remember to respect and love your spouse
There is no need to let past mistakes hang over your heads. So bring them up during your preparation for marriage. Even when disagreeing, you can learn to be respectful.
Apply the golden rule and treat your spouse how you want to be treated. Be respectful in the way you speak to, and about your him/her. Be respectful about what you share of your relationship.
There is always something new to learn, something to improve, and somewhere to grow; so be on the lookout. Continue to grow as a person both independently, and together as a couple.After you say “I do”, you become a unit, but you are also unique individuals. Take personal responsibility for your actions, feelings, and let your spouse do the same. Be supportive but don’t enable bad behaviors or attitudes.
Simply do your best to prepare well for your marriage.
What did you do to prepare for marriage?
What advice will you give to couples preparing for marriage?
Do you agree that preparation for marriage should be something all couples must do before getting married?
Image courtesy Salvatore Vuono / Freedigitalphotos.net
P.S. Want to build a strong foundation for your marriage? Read this book today.
7 Relationship Prayers for Engaged Couples
Heading down a path of marriage is a big change for couples. These relationship prayers for engaged couples will keep you focused and on the right track as you head down walking down the aisle as man and wife.
You are Lord over all creation. Everyday we are surrounded by the miracle of life. Your creativity bursts across the skies at sunset, it emerges from spring buds that bloom. Thank you for the beauty of marriage. three streams that merge into one single river, you are journeying with us. You are the creative, restoring current that runs through our relationship.
May we stand strong in our friendship a tall oak tree. May we pull together through the different seasons of our lives so that we become closer. May we ride out the storms and rest in the fair weather. May we care for one another, so that we blossom and bloom as individuals.
May we have your vision as we soar above the everyday to glimpse the kingdom of heaven. May we learn the truth of real beauty as we change and age together. And may we reflect your love, hope, and truth that you have poured into our union.
Thank you that through your strength and grace we are able to love, care and provide for our loved ones and the wider world.
We are so thrilled to have found each other, and excited to be engaged to be married. We are so blessed to have discovered a best friend, and feel content by the intimacy and trust we have found together.
We are so thankful to be your children, adopted into your family, and so grateful to be living in your grace. We feel so privileged to be planning our special wedding day. May it be fill of your truth, hope and love.
Dear Heavenly Father, how good You are to give us the gift of anticipation about joyous occasions to come! Thank you for the person You have ordained for me to marry, and for directing our relationship thus far.
I pray that you would continue to make your will known to us, in big ways and small, as we pursue your will together. We long to glorify you in our relationship, now and forevermore.
It’s in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, that I pray. Amen.
Lord, help us remember that our love for each other reflects your love for us. May we empower one another to fulfill our purpose in life. May our love be an example for our children and a model for all.
May our experience as a couple give us a preview of the oneness we will experience someday. Help us to see that everything is either love or a call for love. Help us to celebrate our similarities and honor our differences. Help us to accept our limitations and utilize our talents.
Thank you for this opportunity, this life, and for my loving partner. Amen.
She and I have set the date. I’ve never known anything so sure in all my life. Lord, I love her. It’s just so right. So right, too, to thank you. To thank you for what you’ve given me as a person: my talents, my abilities, my self.
I thank you for my family, my brothers and sisters. In a unique way they all have something to do with this. Thanks for her, and her family, and all that made her. The experts have little to say to me, now that I’ve experienced love.
And you, Lord, you are what we share. I love you, too.
Bless our marriage. Draw us to you. We’re a trinity: she and you and I.
Bless our lives in our journey together and fill us with Your Glory. May we be bonded together, Lord, in the type of love Your Son Jesus showed on the cross. Let our lives be a wonderful reflection of Your grace, as we abide in it forever. In Jesus’ name, I humbly pray, Amen.
Lord, send out your Spirit and renew the face of the earth. Father, Jesus gave his life because he loved deeply and completely. May our love for one another be all encompassing and all consuming.
Make our love be pleasurable. Make it be as creative as it is stable, as passionate as it is respectful, as gentle as it is strong, so that all who know us will see in our love the hand of you, our creator.
If and when we are blessed with children, may they thrive in the passionate and energizing love that has its beginning in the love you have for the world and all its peoples. We ask this through, Jesus, our Lord and brother.
About the Author of this Blog Post
Crystal Ayres has served as our editor-in-chief for the last five years. She is a proud veteran, wife and mother. The goal of ConnectUs is to publish compelling content that addresses some of the biggest issues the world faces. If you would to reach out to contact Crystal, then go here to send her a message.