Courage For A New Home Schooling Parents

Leaving Home… a teenage dilemma

    “An Englishman's home is his castle”; so says an old proverb. “Home” is perhaps the most important thing in a person's life – “home sweet home”, as they say. Yet in Britain's teenage culture, home has long been seen as a place to leave, rather than a place to live.

And while the age of independence is, for many young people, becoming later and later, the desire for independence is developing at a younger and younger age.

    Leaving home for the first time has always been a difficult turning point in life; today the difficulties are perhaps greater than ever before.

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Section 1      Background.

     THE TEENAGE DREAM

    Almost every 16-year old has thought about leaving home.
Many teens dream about leaving home: but the reality can often be much harder than they imagine.     Many have been thinking about it, off and on, for years; some have been dreaming of independence since they were twelve, or even younger.

Leaving home is part of the teenage dream.
   Recently, a survey of “Young People's Social Attitudes” asked British teenagers for their opinions about leaving home.

Forty-nine per cent of 12-15 year olds thought that teenagers should be allowed to leave home at the age of 16; another 12% said 17, and 8% said “when they want”.

Only 23% of young teenagers thought that they should be obliged to live at home until they were 18!
    Yet the teenage dream seems to conflict with the experience of real life; when the same question was put to 18 and 19-year olds, almost half replied that teenagers should not leave home before the age of 18.

    Nevertheless, leaving home is part of the process of growing up. Many teenagers leave to go and study or train or look for a job in a different town or city, returning home when the money runs out. Others leave because they just want to get out. Most, specially younger ones, are happy to go home again later; for a small number, leaving home is a definitive break.

HOME OR HOMELESS?

     Every year,  thousands of young people in Britain leave home in search of a better or more exciting life; many of them go to London, attracted by the bright lights, the night life, the youth scene and the hope of finding work.

    16-year olds who leave school with few or no qualifications find it very hard to get jobs; indeed, in some British cities, particularly in the North, finding work is almost impossible for unqualified people, specially young people.

London, however, has less unemployment and more jobs; and though no one imagines that the streets of the capital are “paved with gold” (as in the legend), many teenagers make their way to the capital, hoping to set up a new home of their own.

    Though there are indeed more jobs in London than in most other cities, they are not always good jobs, and the the dream of leaving home and finding a job often turns out to be just that; a dream.     Many return home; some become homeless.

   London's biggest homeless charity, Centrepoint, reported that causes of homelessness among teenagers have changed ; instead of leaving home because of “pull factors” (the attraction of London, the hope of a job) more and more young people now leave home because of “push factors”, victims of broken homes, poverty or physical aggression.

    It's all part of our changing society. In 1961, only about 5% of children (about half a million children) in Britain lived in single-parent families; in 2013, 22% of children, that is three million children, lived in single-parent families. Single-parent families are generally poorer than traditional families.
    Even teenagers with caring parents and lovely homes dream of leaving home. Kids in poor or aggressive homes dream too; in their situation, it's not surprising that they may want to make their dreams come true.

Section 2      Teenagers speak.

SIMON: STAYING HOME

“Home’s O.K!” says Simon. “In fact, as far as I’m concerned, it’s the best place to be, even if you can’t always do what you want!! If you live at home, you’ve got to obey a few rules, that’s obvious; but my parents are quite tolerant really! I s’pose it’d be different if they tried to lock me up or something, but they don’t. It’s a matter of respect.. They leave me to it; that way everyone’s happy! Besides, it’s much easier living at home if you can. You get your meals cooked and your washing done for you; and it’s far cheaper than living on your own! I’ll move out when I go to university, but I’ll come home in the vacation. Why not: It’s home, after all, isn’t it?”

SARAH : PULLED

    It was one evening in April that Sarah decided to leave home. It was not that she disd her home; not even that she had a lot of arguments with her parents. As a family, everyone got on quite well together; but in the small Dorset town of Crewkerne, there wasn't exactly a lot to do. Besides, Sarah didn't actually live in Crewkerne, but in a village where there was even less to do. She was fed up with school too. Though she had done quite well in her GCSE exams, she had not chosen the right subjects for “A” level and had become disillusioned.     Her parents d the village life; her father, a businessman, was always travelling, and enjoyed coming back at weekends to the peace of  Dorset; her mother had a part-time job in the town. Her elder brother was away at university, her 14-year old sister was, in Sarah's words, “a nuisance”.

    “I just wanted to get out,” says Sarah. “I felt too cooped up; and it was so boring. So I decided to come up to London. For the time being I'm selling beads, but I'm looking for a proper job too.”

    Sarah is one of the lucky ones. Her parents are giving her an allowance until she finds a job, and she lives with two other girls in a flat in Hampstead. She's artistic, she doesn't smoke or take drugs, and can talk intelligently. She'll probably get a job quite quickly.     “I'm glad I left home,” she says; “I'm 18 now, and I'm in charge of my own life. I go home quite often; but I prefer living my own life.”

DARREN: PUSHED

    Darren claims that he was pushed his home.

    “I lived with my mum and two brothers in Bedford, but I couldn't stand it any more. My mum didn't have a job, and she was always yelling at us. I was in care for three years. Then I went back to live with my mum. In the end I just decided to quit. I don't want to go back; not for a while, anyway.”
    For the last year, Darren has been living in a hostel for the homeless, and at the moment he's doing a training course, to become a builder.
    “There's plenty of work in the building trade in London right now,” he says, “So I should get a job quite easily. Then I'll get myself a proper place to live. I'd to have my own place. A proper home of my own, so as to speak. I can't say I've really ever had a home before.”
Section 3      Living at school.
    Often in Britain, it is parents who send their children to make a new home, away from home. At school.
    For hundreds of years, “boarding schools” have played an important part in British life.
    Not for everyone, of course; far from it. But boarding schools are part of middle class culture, especially in the south of England, where almost 30% of all 17-year olds in secondary schools are in fee-paying independent schools.     Many parents (and grand parents) save money for years, in order to be able to send their children to boarding school.

    “My dad worked as a flying instructor in Saudi Arabia for ten years,” explains Nikki. “He saved as much as he could, to send me and my sister to a good school. He could have spent it on other things; for instance he could have bought a big BMW,  but we've had the same car for five years, a VW, and it was second-hand when we bought it.”

    According to classic images, boarding schools are spartan places, with cold dormitories and strict rules; but the image is no longer true.     “I started boarding when I was 14,” says William; “The worst thing about it was the first few weeks, when it was all new and strange. But now I feel much more independent.     I coming home for hols, but I it at school too. It's not it used to be, with big cold dorms and corporal punishment! You've got to obey the rules, of course; but that's part of life!”         For young people who cannot “go away” to school, university offers the chance of breaking free.     While in many parts of Europe students tend to study at universities and colleges close to home, the British tradition is very different.

    “I certainly wouldn't have wanted to go to college in my home town,” says Tom. “One of the great things about going to university is that you get away from home! Universities recruit nationally, and when you apply, you usually apply to several different universities. You choose your universities for the courses they offer, not because they're near your home.

    I go home to see my parents in the holidays, but that's all. As far as I'm concerned, I've left home now. I certainly wouldn't want to go back home at weekends! That's when everything happens!” Click here to show vocabulary guide

Alternative word guide

A levels: exams taken at the end of secondary school – allowance: some money – apply: be a candidate –
beads: cheap coloured stones – besides : also – board: to live at school 24 hrs a day  – a break : a complete change – broken home: a broken family – in care: looked after by the local social services – caring: who love and help their children – charity: organisation which helps people – claim : say – conflict with: contrast with – cooped up: restricted, shut in – definitive: permanent, complete – disillusioned: she had lost her hopes, lost her dreams – enjoyed: d – ever-increasing: continually growing – fed up with : tired of, unhappy with – –
fee: money – GCSE: national exams taken at the age of about 16 – grow up: become an adult – hostel: home –
instance: example – off and on: from time to time – overall: in general – process: system, routine –
ranks: lines, numbers – recruit: attract students – runs out : finishes – second-hand: not new – seek: to look for – single: just one – spartan: without any luxury – survey: study – s'pose : suppose, imagine – trade: profession – unemployment: absence of jobs, people without any work – yell: shout – youth scene: the clubs, meeting places and other things that attract young people –

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Home or homeless?

Find words or expressions in the article that mean
1. To look for ………………………………. 2. Teenagers who are sixteen years old  ………………………………. 3. Who go to London  ………………………………. 4. The fact of having nowhere to live. …………… 5. Families with just one parent  …………………….

………… Read the article under the heading then say whether these statements are true or faIse.. 1. Sarah got on very badly with her parents. T/ F 2. Sarah did not do too badly at school. T/ F 3. Both of Sarah's parents were away at work all day. T/ F 4. Sarah is older than her brother and sister. T/ F 5.

Sarah does not want to continue selling beads for much longer. T/ F 6. Sarah is homeless. T/ F 7. She ought to �?nd a proper job quite easily. T/ F 8. She has not seen her parents since leaving home last April. T/ F Dave's Dog…. Dave wrote down some sentences about boarding school and university in Britain on a sheet of paper.

Unfortunately, his dog found the sheet of paper, and chewed out the middle! Can you help Dave by rewriting the middle part of each sentence, using information from the article!  1. Nikki‘s dad ………………………………………………………………………………….  …………………………. …………………………………….

…..�?ve years ago. 2. William did not ……………………………………………………………………..  at boarding school.  3. British students …………………………………………………………………… close to home. 4. Although Tom ………………………………………………………………………………

 ……………………………………………………………Edinburgh. 5; Tom comes ……………………………………………………………………………………   ………………………………………………………………………….see him.

   
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Источник: //linguapress.com/intermediate/leaving-home.htm

In the Wake of Mass Shootings, Parents Reconsider Mass Schooling

We interviewed Kerry McDonald, author of “Unschooled” on the Today's Mama Podcast. You can LISTEN HERE! 

In the wake of recent tragic school shootings, anxious parents are contemplating homeschooling to protect their children.

After February’s school shooting in Parkland, Florida, the Miami Herald reported that more parents were considering the homeschooling option.

And after Friday’s disturbing school shooting in Sante Fe, Texas, a local ABC news affiliate in Alabama reported the increasing appeal of homeschooling.

“If I had the time, I would teach my kids myself, and I would know that they’re safe,” a father of four told ABC station, WAAY31. A public school teacher interviewed by the channel disagreed with the idea of homeschooling. According to the news story, the teacher “says resorting to homeschooling is teaching your children to run from reality.”

Thanks for watching!

But that raises the question: Is compulsory mass schooling “reality”?

Public Schools Are Consuming More and More of Kids' Time

Segregating children by age into increasingly restrictive, test-driven classrooms where they are forced by law to be unless a parent or caregiver liberates them is hardly “reality.” What’s worse is that young people are spending increasingly more time in this coercive “reality” than ever before.

In the case of teens, spending more time in school and school- activities may be further separating them from the actual real world.

For young children ages six to eight, schooling increased from an average of five hours a day in 1981-82 to an average of seven hours a day in 2002-03.

And for today’s teens, schooling consumes much more of their time than it did for previous generations, seeping into summertime and other historically school-free periods. According to data from the U.S.

Bureau of Labor Statistics, 42 percent of teens were enrolled in school during July 2016, compared to only 10 percent enrolled in July 1985.

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In the case of teens, spending more time in school and school- activities may be further separating them from the actual real world in which they previously came of age.

As Business Insider reports: “Almost 60% of teens in 1979 had a job, compared to 34% in 2015.

” Spending more time in the contrived reality of forced schooling and less time in authentic, multi-age, productive communities may be taking its toll on today’s youth.

Compulsory Mass Schooling Is Hurting Our Kids

New findings from researchers at Vanderbilt University show a disturbing correlation between time in school and suicidal thoughts and attempts by young people, which have been increasing over the past decade. Whereas most adults see suicide spikes in July and August, most kids see suicide dips in summer. Children’s suicidal tendencies appear strongest during the school year.

Boston College psychology professor Dr. Peter Gray believes that increasingly oppressive schooling is leading to serious psychological damage in some children. He writes on his blog at Psychology Today:

Children now often spend more time at school and at homework than their parents spend at their full-time jobs, and the work of schooling is often more burdensome and stress-inducing than that of a typical adult job.

It can no longer be believed that schooling is a benign experience for children. The evidence that it induces pathology is overwhelming.”

Recent school shootings may be extreme examples of this rising school-induced pathology.

Choosing to Homeschool Isn't “Running from Reality”

Instead of overreacting, parents who decide to remove their children from school to homeschool them may be acknowledging the disconnect between the inherent coercion of compulsory mass schooling and the freedom to live in the genuine world around us. Rather than sheltering their children, parents who select the homeschooling option may be endeavoring to widen their child’s community, broaden their experiences, and restore their emotional well-being.

Former New York State Teacher of the Year, John Taylor Gatto, writes in his book Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling about his growing disillusionment with mass schooling:

I began to realize that the bells and the confinement, the crazy sequences, the age-segregation, the lack of privacy, the constant surveillance, and all the rest of the national curriculum of schooling were designed exactly as if someone had set out to prevent children from learning how to think and act, to coax them into addiction and dependent behavior.”

Parents who remove their children from the confines of the conventional classroom are not running away from reality. They are running towards it.

About Kerry McDonald

Kerry McDonald is a Senior Education Fellow at FEE and author of Unschooled: Raising Curious, Well-Educated Children Outside the Conventional Classroom (Chicago Review Press, 2019).

Kerry has a B.A. in economics from Bowdoin College and an M.Ed. in education policy from Harvard University. She lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts with her husband and four children.

Follow her on @kerry_edu.

This article originally appeared on Fee.org

Источник: //todaysmama.com/parenting/parents-reconsider-mass-schooling

Bringing up children

Raising a child is the hardest, most responsible and satisfying task a human being can face. It's also the job for which people receive the least formal training.

Each person's knowledge of how to bring up a child usually comes from their surroundings and their own upbringing. This may result in patterns from the parent's own social experiences being repeated and passed on to their children.

Parents are role models

Parents are the most influential role models children are ly to have. Parents who pay compliments and show respect, kindness, honesty, friendliness, hospitality and generosity to their children will encourage them to behave in the same way.

Parents should express their unconditional love for their children, as well as provide them with the continued support they need to become self-assured and happy.

It's also important that parents set reasonable expectations for their children and tell them in plain words what they expect from them.

Parents-to-be

Before having a child, it's a good idea for both partners to understand each other's attitudes to parenting.

You can do this by talking about the issues raised in this article, talking to your friends and surfing the many parenting websites.

Discipline is crucial when bringing up a child. All children need and want reasonable boundaries. Through discipline your child learns that some kinds of behaviour are acceptable and others are not. Setting boundaries for children's behaviour helps them to learn how to behave in society.

Inconsistency and lack of discipline create confused and rootless children – who will test their parents constantly to find out what the world is all about. This is why parents, who put in the effort every day to provide consistent boundaries to their children, will (eventually!) end up with better behaved kids.

Spending enough time with your children

A child's greatest need is quality time with their parents.

Finding time to spend together as a family can be difficult. In many households, parents have to go to work, which limits the time they have to spend with their children. In addition, children are involved in school and other activities.

Try to arrange a time each day, such as during breakfast or dinner, when the entire family can be together. Fixed routines are important for children.

It's also a good idea for everyone to get together and talk. Mealtimes provide a perfect opportunity to chat about the events of the day. Everybody should take part in the conversation: parents should pay attention and show interest in whatever their children say.

Make it a family rule that everyone eats together and stays at the table, at least until everyone has finished eating. This encourages them not to rush their food – but more importantly it gives an opportunity for conversation.

Children to have special days reserved for special activities. For example, Thursday afternoon at the library with Dad, or Friday night swimming with Mum. Such rituals and routines build strong families.

Encourage your children to take part in planning activities. It's good for a family to do a variety of fun things together, such as playing games and going to the movies or concerts.

What will good communication teach children?

Offering explanations will help children work matters out for themselves. Take time to point out how things are connected, for example, in terms of cause and effect.

Parents, who think out loud with their children, will see them develop a similar train of thought. They will learn to talk and think in a more sophisticated way.

If parents express emotions and feelings, their children will learn it's okay to do the same.

If the family has a problem that concerns your child, involve them in the discussion. Try to find possible solutions together with him or her.

When discussing options, also talk about consequences. The possible outcome will influence your final decision. Be open to the child's suggestions. Let them take part in the negotiations and the decision.

A child who experiences this kind of communication will become confident and learn the rules of good communication.

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Last updated 13.11.2014

Источник: //www.netdoctor.co.uk/parenting/a4462/bringing-up-children/

2 Things Homeschool Parents Need to Stop Saying

I hate confrontation and I’m probably about to step on some toes. I’m going to make some people mad and I really don’t doing that. But it’s something that needs to be said. Y’all, there are some things homeschool parents need to quit saying.

There are lots of things we homeschool families get tired of hearing. I’ve had some fun with them over the years with articles 7 Things You Should Never Say to a Homeschool Mom and 10 Lies People Believe About Homeschooling Families.

But did you ever think about the things that public school parents get tired of hearing from us?

Yeah, I’m going there. Because, y’all, it’s a two-way street and we’re not innocent. If we want to quit hearing obnoxious, judgmental comments, maybe we need to offer the olive branch of peace by not making obnoxious, judgmental comments ourselves.

1. That’s why we homeschool

This one makes me cringe because I hear it at the worst possible times.

After a school shooting is not the time to utter those words.

When a 15-year-old girl gets raped by her bus driver is not the time to utter those words. True story.

You may be glad that you homeschool because your kids are home where they don’t have to worry about school shootings and bus rapes, but, honestly, stuff happens everywhere.

I’m guessing that the person who commented on the bus rape never actually thought, “I’m going to homeschool so that one day my 15-year-old daughter doesn’t get raped by the bus driver.”

Even if she did think those very words, that is not what the parent of the girl who got raped wants or needs to hear.

Yes, many homeschool families did decide to homeschool, at least in part, with safety concerns in mind. But when something horrible happens, that’s the time to say, “I’m praying for you” or “I’m grieving with you.” It is not the time to say, “That’s why we homeschool.”

When something tragic happens to kids, it should make us hug our kids a little tighter and grieve for the parents who can’t. We’re all trying to do the best we can for our kids.

And, yeah, it’s okay to say that gently when you’re offering a solution that a parent may not have even considered. But wait. Say it with grace and love. Leave the I-told-you-so tone for another situation.

2. You’re failing your kids by sending them to school

It’s great to be passionate about homeschooling. However, if we don’t want random strangers telling us we’re ruining our kids by homeschooling them, we can’t be telling random strangers that they’re ruining their kids by sending them to public school.

You may think it – I don’t, but I know people do – but, guess what. The person who says that stuff to you thinks it, too, and you don’t hearing it from them.

A while back, I saw an article shared on about how the public schools are not meeting the needs of a particular group of kids.

I wondered if the commenter would think differently if she knew – as I happened to – that the author was a former homeschooling parent who had to send her kids to public school following a divorce.

When someone vocally disagrees with our decision to homeschool, we tell them things such as:

• Homeschooling is a personal decision.
• We know our kids better than anyone.
• This is a decision that we have carefully made for our family; it’s not up for debate.

If we expect people to respect our right to make our own decisions about our kids, we have to respect theirs, too.

You don’t know what went into a parent’s decision to send her kids to public school. Maybe it was just because that’s what most people do when their kids turn 5. Perhaps that parent doesn’t feel up to the task of homeschooling. Maybe she desperately wants to homeschool, but her husband isn’t on board.

I have a niece who homeschooled exclusively up until high school. At that point, she and her parents, who had already graduated her two older brothers from homeschool, made the prayerful, carefully-considered decision for her to attend public school so that she could work toward a softball scholarship. (She was successful.)

I have a friend who successfully graduated two kids from their homeschool, then, made the decision – along with her child – for the youngest to enter public school after several years of homeschooling.

Another friend’s kids returned to public school following a divorce.

Several passionate homeschooling families I know have kids who chose to attend public school for middle school or high school.

I don’t think any of them love their kids any less than I love mine. I don’t think they are failing their kids any more than I think I am failing mine. They are parents who love their kids. They’re making the best decisions they can for and with them – just I am.

Parents, we need to build each other up, rather than tear each other down. Let’s not complain about people not respecting our decisions for our families if we aren’t offering the same courtesy.

I love this article from Heather Sanders at The Pioneer Woman, Homeschooling Is a Method, not a Mandate. We’ve got to stop making careless comments and snap judgments.

We’re all doing the best we can to raise our kids to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted, well-educated adults. Let’s respect that and each other.

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Источник: //www.weirdunsocializedhomeschoolers.com/2-things-homeschool-parents-need-to-stop-saying/

Preparing Your Child for a Move

Sooner or later, many families face the prospect of moving. Disruptive as moving can be for parents, the experience can be even more traumatic for kids, who may not be a part of the decision to move and might not understand it.

Kids can need some time and special attention during the transition. Try these tips to make the process less stressful for everyone.

Making the Decision to Move

Many kids thrive on familiarity and routine. So as you consider a move, weigh the benefits of that change against the comfort that established surroundings, school, and social life give your kids.

If your family has recently dealt with a major life change, such as divorce or death, you may want to postpone a move, if possible, to give kids time to adjust.

The decision to move may be your hands, perhaps due to a job transfer or financial issues. Even if you're not happy about the move, try to maintain a positive attitude about it. During times of transition, a parent's moods and attitudes can greatly affect kids, who may be looking for reassurance.

Discussing the Move With Kids

No matter what the circumstances, the most important way to prepare kids to move is to talk about it.

Try to give them as much information about the move as soon as possible. Answer questions completely and truthfully, and be receptive to both positive and negative reactions. Even if the move means an improvement in family life, kids don't always understand that and may be focused on the frightening aspects of the change.

Involving kids in the planning as much as possible makes them feel participants in the house-hunting process or the search for a new school. This can make the change feel less it's being forced on them.

If you're moving across town, try to take your kids to visit the new house (or see it being built) and explore the new neighborhood.

For distant moves, provide as much information as you can about the new home, city, and state (or country). Access the Internet to learn about the community. Learn where kids can participate in favorite activities. See if a relative, friend, or even a real estate agent can take pictures of the new house and new school for your child.

Moving With Toddlers and Preschoolers

Kids younger than 6 may be the easiest to move, as they have a limited capacity to understand the changes involved. Still, your guidance is crucial.

Here are ways to ease the transition for young kids:

• Keep explanations clear and simple.
• Use a story to explain the move, or use toy trucks and furniture to act it out.
• When you pack your toddler's toys in boxes, make sure to explain that you aren't throwing them away.
• If your new home is nearby and vacant, go there to visit before the move and take a few toys over each time.
• Hold off on getting rid of your child's old bedroom furniture, which may provide a sense of comfort in the new house. It might even be a good idea to arrange furniture in a similar way in the new bedroom.
• Avoid making other big changes during the move, toilet training or advancing a toddler to a bed from a crib.
• Arrange for your toddler or preschooler to stay with a babysitter on moving day.

Moving With School-Age Kids

Kids in elementary school may be relatively open to a move, but still need serious consideration and help throughout the transition.

There are two schools of thought about “the right time to move.” Some experts say that summer is the best time because it avoids disrupting the school year. Others say that midyear is better because a child can meet other kids right away.

To avoid glitches that would add stress, gather any information the new school will need to process the transfer. That may include the most recent report card or transcript, birth certificate, and medical records.

Moving With Teens

It's common for teens to actively rebel against a move. Your teen has probably invested considerable energy in a particular social group and might be involved in a romantic relationship. A move may mean that your teen will miss a long-awaited event, a prom.

It's particularly important to let teens know that you want to hear their concerns and that you respect them. While blanket assurances may sound dismissive, it's legitimate to suggest that the move can serve as rehearsal for future changes, college or a new job. However, also be sure to let them know that you hear their concerns.

If you're moving midway through a school year, you might want to consider letting an older teen stay in the old location with a friend or relative, if that's an option.

After Moving Day

After the move, try to get your child's room in order before turning your attention to the rest of the house. Also, try to maintain your regular schedule for meals and bedtime to give kids a sense of familiarity.

When your child does start school, you may want to go along to meet as many teachers as possible or to introduce your child to the principal.

Set realistic expectations about the transition. Generally, teachers expect new kids to feel somewhat comfortable in their classes in about 6 weeks. Some kids need less time; others might need more. Encourage your child or teen to keep up with old friends through phone calls, video chats, parent-approved social media, and other ways to stay connected.

After the move, if you're still concerned about your child's transition, a family therapist might provide some helpful guidance.

A move can present many challenges, but good things also come from this kind of change. Your family might grow closer and you may learn more about each other by going through it together.

Reviewed by: Jennifer Shroff Pendley, PhD

Date reviewed: November 2014

Источник: //kidshealth.org/en/parents/move.html