Prayer To Save A Failing Relationship
8 Ways to Pray For Your Love Life (Or Lack Thereof!)
A prayer for love has to be something you do no a regular basis. Love and relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives, because our relationships will either lift us up, or tear us down.
Yet praying for love tends to be something that we don’t often do. Maybe we’re afraid to go to God with our love life. Maybe we’re getting discouraged that our prayers aren’t being answered. Or maybe, just maybe, we don’t know how to pray for love.
Prayer For Love Vs. Worry About Love
It took me a while to grasp how to pray for love. Because I’ve always had a tendency to think about love, and worry about love, rather than pray about it.
I’m quick to analyze, figure out, and try to put the pieces together. But it takes me a while to turn to prayer.
I’m realizing that my tendency to over-analyze is the opposite of what God’s word tells me to do. All through Scripture Jesus is challenging us: Don’t just dwell on things, pray about them.
Prayer is the act by which we mentally hand over our problems, concerns, fears, desires, and dreams to someone who actually has the power to control.
And it makes so much sense, because if we’re going to allow these things to fill our brain, we are better off doing it in a way that has the power to impact the things that are weighing us down, rather than simply allowing them to consume us.
If you find yourself consumed by your love life – or lackthereof, here are some ways to mentally and prayerfully hand those things to the One who can actually do something about it. Here are 8 ways to pray for love.
#1: Pray that God would give you a relationship (Matthew 7:7)!
God’s word challenges us to ask and bring our needs before God. Anything and everything. As long as our hearts are aligned with His, there are no limits on what we can ask. What are your deepest needs and desires when it comes to a relationship? What do you need God to do in your relationship? Let Him know.
#2: Pray that He would grant you patience and insight to wait for a good one(Isaiah 40:31).
Waiting on God is never easy, because once again, it is a reminder that we are not in control. But through the time of waiting, ask God to change you, nourish you, and fill you so that you are empowered and prepared to take the next steps when the timing is right.
#3: Pray that He would be working out anything unhealthy in your life (Jeremiah 33:8).
Some of our baggage and sin we can recognize, and some we can’t. As you seek to enhance your love life, be sure to ask God to help you recognize and heal all the things in your life that aren’t lining up with His best. Seek to get to the bottom of your sins, and ask for His healing power to be at work in your life.
#4: Pray that He would shape your heart for nourishing interactions with others (Colossians 3:12-14).
It’s important to learn how to love, rather than simply longing to be loved. When your heart is open to loving and edifying others the way it was meant to, your relationships will be enriched and empowered.
#5: Pray that He would bring healing into your past so that you are free to embrace the present (Philippians 3:13-14).
We are called to move forward, and forget what is behind. Sometimes, it’s easy to get stuck on our past and be paralyzed from living in the present. No matter what kinds of things your past may hold, ask God to be at work in your past so that you are free to live in the moment and embrace your present.
#6: Pray that He would protect your emotional world and give you wisdom of how to set healthy boundaries (Proverbs 4:23).
I talk a lot about guarding our hearts and how to practically do that, but how often do we actually pray about our hearts and emotional worlds? God longs to be a part of our emotions just as much as our spiritual life. He is a holistic God, who longs to interact with our mind, body, and soul. Give Him a chance by opening your emotional life to Him through prayer.
#7: Pray that He would open your eyes to the joy of doing sex His way (Hebrews 13:4).
It’s so easy to focus on what we can’t do before marriage, and end up harboring bitterness and resentment.
But what if we were to ask God to open our eyes to doing life His way? What if we were to plead with Him to download His heart onto ours, so that we could truly understand what is best for our lives? Rather than struggling with His plan, let’s ask Him to reveal His heart to ours, particularly in the area of sex and sexuality, so that we can be freed to trust Him without bitterness or regret. (More on this in Chapter 8 of True Love Dates)
#8: Pray that God would be the focus of your life now and forever (Psalm 37:4).
At the end of the day, no matter how we view it, there is no gift that is greater than the Giver. Whether we feel that or not, it doesn’t cease to be true. May we continue to bring this request before God, so that He can turn our hearts to Him as our greatest delight and desire, because perspective has the power to change everything.
This week, rather than focus on your problems, worries, or what you don’t yet have, focus on what you do have: a direct line to the One who controls all things, including your precious heart. It’s time to actually do some real work in the area of our love life and relationships instead of wasting our mental energy away. It’s time to pray for love.
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DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates.
She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships.
Connect with her on , Instagram, or !
5 Ways To Save A Failing Relationship That You Cherish
Last Updated on June 13, 2019
Think you have a boring life?
The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness.
Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting.
Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.
Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!
1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self
What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?
Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.
2. Go Play with Kids
Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!
They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.
3. Order a Hot Dog
While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.
4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes
Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!
5. Play Cell Phone Roulette
You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.
You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.
6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards
Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.
Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.
7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable
Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.
What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!
8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives
You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.
9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night
Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!
10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You
We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.
11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home
It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.
12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation
This will give you something to look forward to.
Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!
Scroll down to continue reading article
13. People Watch
Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.
People are infinitely interesting.
14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before
Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.
You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on and bust a move from your own living room.
If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.
16. Go to and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”
This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.
17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading
Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.
18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life
stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d to do together!
19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before
OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!
20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want
This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?
Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.
Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!
More About Living a Fulfilling Life
Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com
If Your Relationship Is Failing, Here’s What You Can Do To Save It
Relationships aren’t difficult. They’re really not.
People are difficult. People make things overly complicated. They screw up and make mistakes. They lie and cheat. They make and break promises.
People — not relationships — fail.
I'll admit that not everyone is compatible. Some relationships are bound to fail from the start. Some things in life simply are what they are. There's nothing we can do to change them.
But many relationships fail not because the people in them aren't right for each other, but because they fail to put in the effort.
You can say you’re not ready. You can say you’re not in the right place in your life, the timing isn’t right, you need more time to focus on yourself and your personal goals. And I’m sure that at least some of these excuses are true.
But it all boils down to one simple fact: YOU are not trying. YOU aren't in the right place. YOU are the one who’s only focusing on your goals. YOU are the one who’s breaking that poor guy or girl’s heart.
Some relationships can’t be saved, but many of them can. So… how? How do you save a relationship that is heading south? How do you keep the two of you together when things are already starting to fall apart?The only thing you need to do to give your relationship a chance of making it is this: You need to try.
You need to try to make it work. You need to honestly, fully, genuinely and lovingly do all you can to make it work. It’s really that simple.
You may think you're giving it a real shot. You're wrong
In reality, you're allowing your ego to get the best of you.
You think your relationship is difficult because you have entered a partnership. You are no longer an “I”; you are a “we.”
Semantics aside, there’s a huge difference between the two. When you become a “we,” what YOU want isn’t as important as what the relationship needs. And obvious problems arise when what YOU want doesn’t sync with what your partner wants.
When what you want differs from what the relationship needs and what your partner wants, what are you to do?
Compromise. Compromise is key to any relationship. Without compromise, the relationship becomes one-sided, with just one of you getting what you want and living the life you want to live. The other is simply along for the ride and waiting for a turn.
If you want to save your relationship, you’re going to have to go your way to let your partner have his or her way.
You’re going to have to make an effort to watch the movie that you would usually never be caught dead watching. You’re going to have to go to the event you're dreading.
You’re going to have to learn being happy isn’t enough. In fact, it’s far from it.
You need to focus more on your partner's happiness than your own
True love means loving someone so much that the only way you can be happy is by making your partner happy. If you want your relationship to work, you need to have this kind of love.
This love may seem one-sided to you. But it's not. When you focus on your lover’s happiness, your lover should be focusing on yours. You have to be each other’s best friends, confidants, advisors and biggest fans.
When things get difficult in a relationship, we tend to create space, withdraw and zero in on how we’re feeling. We focus on how we see the relationship. We focus on all the things we feel aren’t working — in short, on the negative.How do you expect something to work out when you aren't communicating your problems? How do you expect things to resolve without sharing your feelings with each other?
Stop focusing on the negative. Learn to be positive. Your relationship won’t have a chance of making it if you've already thrown in the towel. And if you’ve already given up on your relationship, how can you say you’re trying to make it work?
You need to try your best to be a team
I’ll be honest with you; sometimes you aren’t the only problem, and you alone can't remedy the situation. You both need to want to make it work, and you both need to try to make it work. You need to be a team.
You can go through life on your own, but I don’t recommend it. It's not that you couldn’t make it on your own, but it's much harder for yourself.
Life is already incredibly difficult; why make it more so? Having someone by your side through thick and thin is what makes us human.
Human beings aren’t meant to live alone. We’re meant to love and be loved. We need this.
You are certainly far from perfect. So is your partner. You’re both only human, and you will make mistakes. You will tick each other off, annoy one another from time to time, and possibly even make each other cry.
Relationships aren’t easy, but they are doable. And you need to be in it together.
You just need to try to make it work. Stop making excuses for yourself. Stop finding reasons why you should give up. Instead, find reasons to make it work.
The grass seems greener on the other side, but once you cross that fence, there’s no guarantee of a way back. If you want your relationship to work, you’re going to have to give it your best shot.No one can ask more of you than your very best. And if you aren’t giving it your very best, you're the one to blame.
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Is the “sinner’s prayer” a legitimate way to get saved?
If you’ve been in the American church for any amount of time, you are probably familiar with the concept of the “sinner’s prayer.
” Basically, a preacher asks people in the congregation to repeat after him if they are interested in having Jesus Christ come into their hearts and save them.
The prayer will generally go something this: “God, I know I’m a sinner, and without you I am destined for eternal punishment. I repent of my sins. Please forgive me and come into my heart. Be my Lord and Savior. Amen.”
Poof! If you’ve repeated this prayer, then you’re now magically saved, right? Well, not exactly. It doesn’t work a flu shot.
Our Heart Versus Our Words
People will often point to the fact that when they repeated these words, they “meant it” and therefore, it has to be legitimate. Well, maybe or maybe not. The problem is, the words that come our mouths can often be at odds with what’s actually in our hearts—even if we feel they are the same.
People can be swayed very easily by their feelings, whether it be the lovey-dovey atmosphere created by the powerful preaching, dim lighting, or soothing music.
It could also be peer-pressure-induced, where friends or loved ones nudge you into saying the prayer or answering the altar call.
Either way, the Bible warns us in Jeremiah 17:9 that human hearts are deceitfully wicked…who can know it?
There is not one place in the Bible that tell us that repeating a formulaic prayer will grant us salvation.
There is not one place in the Bible that tell us that repeating a formulaic prayer will grant us salvation. A simple man-made prayer does not have special abilities. However, these prayers often contain a lot of correct elements that clue us in on how to actually find Jesus. Using my sample prayer, let’s break it down a bit.
“God, I know I’m a sinner, and without you I am destined for eternal punishment.”
The first step toward real salvation is acknowledging and understanding fully that we are sinners. This is more than saying “I’m not perfect” or “I have done wrong at least once in my life.
” Everyone in the world could admit to that! No, this means recognizing that we have broken God’s law and that as sinners, we are broken beyond repair. This is letting go of the secular idea that we are essentially “good people” who slip up sometimes.
Rather, it’s a realization that our sin nature leaves us in a very grave situation. We are rotten to the core, and there’s nothing we can do about it on our own. In light of a fully just God, we deserve hell.Do you really believe that? Or do you look at other people around you and say that you are comparatively “good”? Do you secretly think, “If God turned me away from heaven, that would be unfair!” If you feel this way, you are not ready.
“I repent of my sins.”
Do you really? In addition to genuine remorse for your sins, are you ready and willing to do whatever it takes to turn completely away from that lifestyle? Do you see those things in a different light now, as dirty and serious? Or do you cling to your desire to dabble in sin, do enough “good” to cancel out the bad? Do you wish to be saved but have no desire to be sanctified?
Do you think this way? “Of course, I want to go to heaven! But while I’m here on earth, I don’t need to be a saint or anything. I’ll live it up because Jesus loves me and forgives me.”
If this is your mentality, then you are not genuinely repentant. Someone who is ready to be a Christ-follower may slip up time to time, but they do not brush it off as if it were nothing. When they slip off the narrow path to life, God comes for them and they continue fighting their flesh. If this is not you, you are not ready.
“Please forgive me and come into my heart.”
Let’s think about our own lives for a minute here. Let’s imagine you are married and you’ve had a heated argument with your spouse. Hurtful words were hurled and you’re still stinging from the pain.
Now, let’s say he or she comes up to you and says, “Please forgive me.” You look at them, and they are not truly sorry, nor do they have any intention of trying to improve themselves in the future. They just want the fight to stop so you can cook them dinner or give them other benefits. Would you forgive them?
In the same way, God is not interested in idle words and empty gestures. As Paul Washer once said, “the greatest heresy in the American church is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he will definitely come in.
” No, this isn’t how it works. If Jesus sees your heart and you are not ready or willing to do what it takes to make it work, he will not come in.
He does not force himself upon you just because of some words you’re repeating in an instant of conviction.There’s a reason why many will come to the gate and say, “Lord, Lord,” only to hear Jesus say to them: “I never knew you.” (Matthew 7:21-23) How do you know this isn’t going to happen to you?
“Be my Lord and Savior. Amen.”
People often think about Jesus as their savior, but that’s it. They are glad he will whisk them away to heaven and save them from the flames of hell, but they forget about the other requisite part.
He has to be LORD.
Most people in America will call themselves Christians, but they are the furthest thing from Christ-followers. They prayed a prayer and called him “Lord,” yet they live their lives as they see fit.
When someone is your LORD, that means he is your master. You are his servant/slave. Does your mentality really reflect this at all?
If the Bible says something is sinful or commands us not to do certain things (or support them), do you brush it off as outdated “advice”? Do you regard the opinions of man and culture more highly? Do the things that scientists proclaim to be true take precedence in your life?
Do you gloss over the uncomfortable portions of scripture that do not appeal to you, but rather focus heavily on God’s grace and love? Do you profess to love God but fail to live out his commands? John 14:15 tells us that if we love Him, we are to obey.
If you have the (surprisingly common) mentality of “I’ll follow, but only when I really agree,” then Jesus Christ is not your Lord. ANYone will follow someone’s commands if they fully agree with them already. Are you willing to obey even when you don’t fully understand or it rubs you the wrong way?
If God is not your Lord, then He is not your savior. Please don’t fool yourself.
If God is not your Lord, then He is not your savior. Please don’t fool yourself.
If everyone who calls themselves “Christian” is capable of deceiving themselves and feelings are an unreliable measure, then how in the world can you know if you are really saved? Well, the Bible says that a good tree will bear good fruit (and a bad tree will bear bad fruit…and be cut down and thrown into the fire) – Matthew 7:17-19. It exhorts us to examine ourselves (2 Corinthians 13:5) to see if we are in the faith. The test is not whether we prayed a prayer one time in our life, but rather whether our lives are truly changed and on the narrow path in this world. Are we being sanctified? Are we convicted of our sin and repenting continually?
Granted, change is a gradual process for most people, but the trend should be unmistakeable over time. If you were “on fire” for Christ for a short period of your life but have fallen back to a secular lifestyle, there is a possibility that you are the second or third (unsaved) soils in the Parable of the Sower.
James calls faith without deeds useless and dead. “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?” (James 2:14)If we are living our lives just as we were before, or we appear just the world around us, then this is a serious symptom of a “dead” faith. This doesn’t mean that you are simply living a feeble Christian life, but rather, it means you are not His at all!
In conclusion, reciting the so-called “sinner’s prayer” has no magical powers on its own (though it does have some useful elements in it). This is not the way to test if you are a Christian.
The true test and evidence comes in the way you walk and talk, the way you think.
Is it conforming to God’s Word, or do you still belong to the world? Remember that you cannot serve both the world and God; it’s one or the other.
In fact, if you are truly a child of His, chances are at some point, the world will hate you or find you foolish (e.g., Matthew 10:22; 24:9; John 15:19). If the world finds you perfectly agreeable, then raise the red flags…there’s something wrong