Prayer For A Teenage Daughter
The secret to helping your daughter get through her teen years
A friend called me about an issue I often get asked about. As a mom of younger girls, she is experiencing what I’m now going through with three of my four daughters.
“My daughter,” she said, hesitant to voice her concern, “has always been so sweet. But lately she’s been different. She gets mad over the smallest things, and I don’t even know what I’ve done.”
Immediately I assured her that her daughter is perfectly normal. I’ve had this conversation with countless moms, and I understand the exasperation as well as the unspoken fear.
In the very season we moms most desire to be close with our daughters, we sense them pulling away. Our once comfortable relationship can feel unsteady or jeopardized. Some days our daughters us … and some days we’re not so sure. At times we feel the enemy as they forget we’re on their side.
Puberty and hormones? They are real and valid things. I’ve lived through enough by now to confirm that you know when the wind shifts. Though the timing was different for each of my daughters, the common thread was heightened moodiness, defensiveness, and irritability. More attitude than normal and a sporadic edge.
My biggest mistake – which took me time to correct – was mirroring my child’s reaction. If she got angry, I did too. If she snapped at me, I snapped back. Eventually I realized how this deepened the wedge. It made my daughters shut down and was, quite frankly, immature of me.
By getting wrapped up in my emotions – and how my child made me feel – I failed to stay calm and provide the emotional support and guidance she needed. I became so sensitive to the pushback or withdrawal that I forgot to consider the inner turmoil that might explain the new behavior.
Now I know this: adolescence (and the transition into it) is hard. It’s a season of constant change, where every day is different. It’s scary for a child when their safe, predictable world gets rocked.At once they’re in the perfect storm of puberty, self-consciousness, self-doubt, comparison to peers, a need to belong, social media, academic pressures, and a flood of changes in their body, moods, friendships, and circumstances.
Here’s the kicker: for the first time in their life, they’re having big thoughts, big feelings, and big emotions. They aren’t sure how to deal with them, and it’s easy to unleash on Mom or anyone who feels safe because their love is unconditional.
A psychologist once told me the part of the brain that interprets emotions is developmentally behind the emotions themselves. To me this was an epiphany. It helped me understand one reason for teenage angst.
Don’t you hate that feeling of being frustrated or upset, yet you can’t pinpoint why? Haven’t you felt the tension of inner friction you can’t explain or wrap your mind around? Even a little clarity offers relief. Even a little discernment – or timely wisdom – can boost your ability to cope.
I can’t speak for boys, since girls are my wheelhouse, but this I know: adolescent girls need emotional coaches. They need adults who love them and can patiently help them develop cultivate a healthy inner life.
As my daughters grow up, they need me more emotionally. I often get it wrong. I might try three wrong approaches before finding one that actually clicks. So if you’re at a loss with your daughter, don’t give up. She needs you, and finding an approach that keeps her talking to you is worth the time and effort.
Some thoughts on being an emotional coach …
Relationship is key
My friend Joelle recently pointed out that teenagers are very relational. As kids grow up, parents move from a position of power to a position of influence. Having a strong relationship gives you a voice in your teenager’s life. It allows you to slowly become a mentor, coach, or counselor, someone they can turn to for advice or support.
As my kids approach the teen years, I prioritize a strong relationship.
I note what doesn’t work (yelling, nagging, criticizing, not hearing them out, disciplining anger) and what does work (apologizing when I overreact, pointing out their strengths, diffusing tension with humor, laughing and having fun, having one-on-one time, showing empathy, listening, disciplining love, and explaining boundaries with logic).
With one daughter I was not on good footing at age 11, and I did some soul-searching to reverse that. I knew I’d lose her to her friends if we didn’t connect better, so I swallowed my pride and looked for ways to reach her heart. Today we get along great, and I’m so glad I made efforts to change.
Speak your daughter’s language to build the relationship
The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers should be required reading for parents. It’s fantastic. It helped me understand all my kids better and offered priceless insights. Discover what speaks loudest to your child (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, or gifts) and makes them feel loved.
I have one daughter who is obsessed with chocolate chip cookies, and after a harsh argument, I brought her home a chocolate chip cookie. That cookie cost me $2, but as I shared on , the value it added to our relationship was priceless.
Adolescence presents a big opportunity to reconnect
Yes, kids pull away, but they also come back – especially when they’re hurt or confused or excited to share good news. Girls live with an ongoing blizzard of thoughts and emotions. They want sounding boards, safe places, and people they can be “real” with to process life and events.
One gift you give your daughter is to be her emotional coach. Teach her to discern what she’s feeling (Maybe you snapped at Anna because you’re still hurt by her comment last week?) and verbalize it.
Girls who never develop emotional intelligence or self-control can wreak havoc in their relationships. They may become bulls in a china shop, taking their feelings out on anyone nearby.The other extreme is girls who channel their emotions internally. They bottle them up, never processing them, and eventually the emotions come out as passive-aggression or self-destructive behavior. This too is unhealthy.
I often tell my daughters you have to know yourself. Pay attention to your moods and triggers. Some days I want to claw somebody’s eyes out, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to do it. We all have to learn to harness, manage, reflect on, and work through our feelings, keeping them in check so we don’t hurt others or ourselves.
Love your daughter and let her vent …
… but don’t be her punching bag. Teenagers push limits, and sometimes we moms take more than we should because we’re scared to lose them. We sympathize with their struggles and let them cross lines.
I think this is a mistake. It’s human nature to push a person as far as you can, and when we let our daughter (or son) treat us a punching bag, we set a bad precedent for future relationships. One day it won’t be us they’re coming home to; it will be their roommate, their spouse, their child.
It’s okay to vent and unload stress, but it’s not okay to disrespect someone in the process. Additionally, teenagers need a healthy respect for authority if they hope to keep a job.
I’ve had to tell all my children: “You can’t talk to me that. I love you, but I won’t let you disrespect me. If you do you’ll lose privileges. Please don’t take your anger out on me. I’m only trying to help.” If I can stay calm, they usually calm down too.
Provide a healthy outlet
The best thing to do with big thoughts, big feelings, and big emotions is channel them into something healthy. Find a therapeutic outlet that brings peace and happiness, art, music, prayer, exercise, spending time in nature, or pursuing a passion.
Encouraging your daughter to journal might also help. Let her pour her heart onto paper to collect her thoughts and express her feelings. Writing things out makes it easier to eventually say them out loud. It gives your daughter a safe place to be honest and transparent.
In her book, Untangled, Lisa Damour says, “You must work with the assumption that every teenager secretly worries that she’s crazy.” I love this, because what I believe comforts girls most is the assurance they aren’t alone.
The very emotions that feel so unique and foreign are actually normal and universal. Talking them out with trustworthy people helps you untangle them. This is true for kids, adolescents, and adults. While none of us ever “master” our emotions, we can learn to control them so they don’t control us.
So if your daughter is new to adolescence or quickly headed there – hang in there. Be patient. Don’t let a rocky start or a hard season scare you off, because your daughter really needs you.
Teenagers are forgiving, and they’re also really fun and smart. They can take a good word and run with it.
A little coaching can go a long way – and so can some soul-searching on your end to find an approach that speaks to your daughter.This article originally appeared on karikampakis.com and is reprinted here with permission.
Kari Kampakis is a mom of four girls, as well as an author, speaker, and blogger from Birmingham, Alabama. Her two books for teen & tween girls, d: Whose Approval Are You Living For? and 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, have been used widely across the country for teen girl studies.
28 Cute & Short Father Daughter Quotes with Images
We now live in a society where fathers are similar to mothers in providing care to their children. That presence and effort is the start of a bond that is very important between a father and a daughter.
Originally posted by pinterest
It is also the reason why fathers are very influential in their daughter’s lives, especially when it comes to self-esteem and decision making. Let your heart be captivated as you go through these cute and short father daughter quotes which will make you love your dad even more.
These heart warming and inspirational father daughter quotes will make you realize how important your dad is and how he has made a big impact in your life as you grow up to be a strong, confident woman. Make sure to not forget about your mama and send her one of these sweet mother daughter quotes
7 Uplifting Prayers For Your Daughter
Your daughter is a precious gift from God and you want to do all that you can to protect her, encourage her, and build her confidence.
One of the greatest tools we have as a parent is prayer! The below prayers on various topics such as self worth, wisdom, purity, and protection, can help you find the words to pray over your daughter.
When you are worried and anxious about your daughter’s life and choices, you can cast your cares on Jesus and find peace knowing that He has a plan for good! Be encouraged that God moves through prayer and you can equip yourself and your daughter with wisdom.
Prayer for your Daughter’s Heart
Dear Lord, I know that Your Word does not return void and I'm believing great things for my daughter today:
1. Let her learn early in life that to obey You, God, is the best way to the life her heart truly desires (1 Samuel 15:22).
2. May she find comfort in Your ability, God, to reach her, hold her and rescue her (2 Samuel 22:17-18).
Let her find confidence in You, God, even when hard times come and she doesn't know what to do, by keeping her eyes fixed on You (2 Chronicles 20:12).
4. May she keep herself under control and not give full vent to people and situations that anger her (Proverbs 29:11).
5. Let her walk in the security of Your assigned worth to her.
Give her a strong work ethic and health to accomplish all her tasks. Give her a heart that desires to extend her hand to those in need. Protect her for the right husband, a man of respect and godly honor. And let her be a woman of joy and laughter whose Christ-centered character is what makes her most beautiful (Proverbs 31). May we both grow in our relationship with You.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
~ Lysa TerKeurst
Prayer for a Struggling Daughter
Create in _________________ a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within her (Psalm 51:10). Though you have made ______________ see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore her life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring her up.
You will increase ________________'s honor and comfort her once again (Psalm 71:20-21).
Thank You that Your word says I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate ___________ from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.
~ Cindi McMenamin
Prayer for Our Daughter’s Self-Worth and Purity
Dear Jesus, we weep with you over the number of our kids who are buying into the lie that sexual pleasure is something to experiment with.
We pray that our daughters would treasure their sexuality as a true gift from You, and that they would honor that gift by saving it as a precious treasure to give their future spouse.
We ask that you would help them to be strong in the face of their own desires and that they would choose purity in the face of temptation.
Lord we also ask that you’d protect our daughters from the idea that they must do anything and everything (including abusing their bodies through eating disorders, drug abuse, or other harmful behaviors) in order to attaining a “preferred” shape or figure.
We pray you’d protect our sons from that kind of destructive thinking, and that if they’re tempted to take these kind of drastic measures, that you’d send someone in their lives to stop them.
Help them to remember over and over that their identity is not in how they look on the outside but what you see as their potential and worth on the inside.
We pray that our daughters would treasure their health as a gift from God and that they would have a passion to eat nutritious food and to stay active in order to do their part to take care of this treasure. In Jesus name, Amen.
~ Alicia Michelle
Prayer For Daughter to Find Identity in Christ
Dear Jesus, help my daughter know that we are all born as sinners and separated from God because of our wicked hearts. However, at an early age, help her grasp the life-transforming concept that he does not have to live as a sinner under that condemnation.
Teach my daughter that she has the opportunity to accept a new, beautiful identity that is called “good,” not because of what she has done or what she looks , but because she is secure in who YOU say she is: treasured, delightful, known and protected.
Let her not place her self-worth in accomplishments she may or may not achieve, but let her discover these deeper truths about who You believe she is and build every decision she makes on that sure foundation. In Jesus name, amen.
~ Alicia Michelle
A Prayer for Daughters Protection
Lord, I pray Your emotional, physical, and spiritual protection over my daughter. Keep evil far from her, and help her to trust You as her refuge and strength. I pray You will guard her mind from harmful instruction, and grant her discernment to recognize truth.
I pray You will make her strong and courageous in the presence of danger, recognizing that You have overcome and will set right all injustice and wrong one day. Help her to find rest in Your shadow, as she lives in the spiritual shelter You provide for her.
Let her know that the only safe place is in Jesus, and that her home on earth is only temporary. In Jesus name, amen.
~ Rebecca Barlow Jordan
Prayer for Daughter’s Spiritual Strength
I’m praying my daughter whose hands are limp and whose tongue is silent. Nudge her to pick up her sword. Help her conceive a strategic plan to take back what the enemy has plundered.
Lead her to scriptures for every area of defeat. Give her a voice to speak them out loud. Let the enemy know that You are raising up a standard against him with a resurrected daughter. In Jesus name, Amen.
~ Christine Wyrtzen
We hope these prayers have been able to guide your thoughts and desires for your daughter! Rest in God's promises that He is a loving Creator and Father who has good things in store for your child! Join other moms in the comments below and be encouraged by our large praying community.
This article is part of our larger Prayers resource meant to inspire and encourage your prayer life when you face uncertain times. Visit our most popular prayers if you are wondering how to pray or what to pray. Remember, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us and God knows your heart even if you can't find the words to pray.
Prayer for Healing
Prayer for Strength
Prayer for Protection
Good Night Prayers
The Prayer of Jabez
The Lord's Prayer
The Prayer of St Francis
A Birthday Prayer
Prayer for Forgiveness
Prayer for Guidance
Irish Prayers and Blessings
Holy Week Prayers for Each Day
Mother’s Day Prayer
Prayers for My Husband
Prayers for My Son