Prayer After A Miscarriage

Common Prayers – Service after a Miscarriage or Stillbirth

Prayer After A Miscarriage

A general Service of Prayer celebrated at the time of loss or thereafter, but especially when the priest is called to attend to a miscarriage or stillbirth.

P: Blessed is our God, always, now and ever and unto ages of ages.

R: Amen. O Heavenly King, the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, Who art everywhere and fillest all things; Treasury of Blessings and Giver of Life: Come and abide in us and cleanse us from every impurity, and save our souls, O Good One.

Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.

Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

O Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us. O Lord, cleanse us from our sins. O Master, pardon our transgressions. O Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Thy Name’s sake.

Lord. have mercy. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come; Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

P: For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages.

R: Amen.


P: In peace let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: For the servants of God, [NN.], who have suffered the repose of a child during pregnancy, and for their family and friends, that they may be comforted, let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: That the Lord God, from the goodness of His heart, will have mercy on His servants, and pardon their every sin, granting to them healing and comfort of soul and body, let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: That the Lord God will not turn away His face from His suffering servants, but will receive the prayers we now offer for them, let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: That He will heal every illness and grief by the visitation of the Holy Spirit, let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: That He will quickly deliver the handmaid of God [N.] from every pain and affliction, raising her from weakness and infirmity by the almighty word of God, let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: That the merciful Lord will hear the cries of His unworthy servants as He heard the cries of the Canaanite woman, and that He will heal and console His suffering servants, let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: That He will receive the infant [N.], who by His ineffable providence has been taken from his/her mother’s womb and will grant him/her life everlasting, let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: For our deliverance from all affliction, wrath, danger, and necessity, let us pray to the

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: Help us, save us, have mercy on us, and keep us, O God, by Thy grace.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: Commemorating our most holy, most pure, most blessed and glorious Lady, the Theotokos and ever-Virgin Mary, with all the Saints, let us commend ourselves and each other, and all our lives unto Christ our God.

R: To Thee, O Lord.

P: O Lord our God! Thy power is incomparable! Thy glory is incomprehensible! Thy mercy is immeasurable! Thy love for mankind is inexpressible! Look down upon us, O Master, and impart the riches of Thy mercy and Thy compassion unto us and unto those who pray with us. For unto Thee are due all glory, honor, and worship: to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages.

R: Amen.


P: Let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord have mercy.

P: O Master, Lord our God, Who was born of the holy Theotokos and ever-Virgin Mary, and as a child was laid in a manger: In Thy great mercy be merciful to this, Thy handmaid [N.] who has miscarried the child who was conceived in her.

Forgive all her voluntary or involuntary offenses, and protect her from all the machinations of the devil. Heal her suffering, and in Thy love for mankind grant health and strength to her body and soul.

Guard her with a radiant Angel from every assault of the invisible demons and from every illness and malady, and deliver her from all that may afflict her womb. O Thou, Who accepts the innocence of infancy into
Thy Kingdom, comfort the mind of Thy handmaid and bring her peace.

Therefore, with fear we cry and say: Look down from heaven and strengthen Thy handmaid [N.] who has miscarried of the child conceived in her. Have mercy on her and bless her, through the intercession of Thine undefiled Mother and of all Thy Saints.

R: Amen.

P: Let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord have mercy.

P: O Lord, Thou hast spoken through Thy Prophet Isaiah, saying, “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in that which I create, for behold, I create in Jerusalem a rejoicing, and in her people joy.

I will rejoice in Jerusalem and be glad in my people; no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping and the cry of distress. No more shall there be in it an infant that lives but a few days” [Isaiah 65:17-19, 20a].

Do Thou, the same Lord and God, Who on that day will give no cause to mourn the loss of a child, be present with us this day as we gather with sadness to seek Thy comfort and mourn the loss of this child [N.], known to Thy handmaid who carried him/her, to his/her father, who generated him/her, and to us, Thy faithful People.

Thou hast spoken through Thy Prophet Jeremiah, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” [Jeremiah 1:5]. For which cause we bless Thee, O God of compassion, the consolation of the afflicted. Thou knowest the name and age of every person, even from his and her mother’s womb.

Knowing the depths of our hearts, accept our sorrow as we grieve the loss of this child, and comfort us with the promise of the joy of Thy eternal Kingdom.

Help us to grow in confidence in Thy sustaining presence at this moment and in the days to come, through the prayers of Thy most pure Mother, the Theotokos and ever-Virgin Mary, and of all Thy Saints. For Thou art a merciful God, and unto Thee we ascribe glory, to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

R: Amen.

P: Let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: O merciful Lord, falling down before Thy great and inscrutable providence, which is both merciful and just: We confess our weakness and infirmity, not knowing what to ask of Thee. For Thou alone knowest our true needs. Thou lovest us more than we ourselves know how to love.

Help us to discern our true needs, which are concealed from us. We dare not ask either a cross or consolation. We can only wait on Thee. Our hearts are open to Thee. Visit us and help us. Cast us down and raise us up. In silence we contemplate Thy holy will and inscrutable ways.

We offer ourselves to Thee in sacrifice, and we place all our trust in Thee. We have no desire but to fulfill Thy holy will. We believe, O Lord; help our unbelief! Let not our faith fail, nor our hope weaken, nor our love grow cold. Wipe away our tears of sorrow, granting us instead tears of joy.

Heal our weakness and infirmity. Forgive our transgressions, voluntary and involuntary. Receive the infant [N.

] into Thy kingdom and have mercy on us, through the mercy and compassion and love for mankind of Thine only-begotten Son, with whom Thou are blessed, together with Thine all-holy, good and life-creating Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

R: Amen.


P: Wisdom!

R: Father, bless.

P: Christ our true God, the Existing One, is blessed, always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.

R: Amen. Preserve, O God, the Holy Orthodox Faith and Orthodox Christians, unto ages of ages.

P: Most holy Theotokos, save us.

R: More honorable than the Cherubim, and more glorious beyond compare than the Seraphim: without defilement you gave birth to God the Word. True Theotokos, we magnify you.

P: Glory to Thee, O Christ, our God and our hope, glory to Thee.

R: Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.

Father, bless.

P: May Christ our true God, through the prayers of His most pure Mother; of the holy, glorious, and all-laudable Apostles; of Saint [N.

, the patron of the unbaptized infant]; of Saint [N.

], whose memory be celebrate on this day; of the holy and righteous ancestors of God, Joachim and Anna; and of all the Saints: have mercy on us and save us, for He is good and lovest mankind.

R: Amen.

P: Let us pray to the Lord.

R: Lord, have mercy.

P: O Lord, Who guards Thy children in this life and prepares for those who have departed from us in their innocence a haven in the radiant angelic realm in the heavenly mansions: Do Thou, the same Master, Christ our God, receive in peace the soul of Thy child [N.

], for Thou has said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the Kingdom of heaven.” For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship, together with Thy Father, Who is from everlasting, and Thine all-holy, good and life-creating Spirit, now and ever.

and unto ages of ages.

R: Amen.

Memory eternal! Memory eternal! Memory eternal!

His/her soul shall dwell with the blessed!


Approved for use by the Holy Synod of Bishops of the Orthodox Church in America
October 2015

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Recruiting a Pregnancy Prayer Support Team

Prayer After A Miscarriage

The book of Nehemiah is quite amazing. Nehemiah was a man of God who served as the cupbearer to the Persian King Artaxerxes I. He heard about ruins in Jerusalem and asked the king if he could return there and oversee repairs to the broken down city wall. Jerusalem had been his home at one time and he cared deeply for the people still living there.

The king allowed him to go and gave him everything he needed to complete the work. Nehemiah recruited the people of Jerusalem to help build the wall and assigned everyone a task.

Unfortunately, there were many people in the surrounding cities that didn’t want Nehemiah and the people of Jerusalem to succeed. And back then, being against something a city or group of people were doing meant threat of physical violence.

Nehemiah spent much time in prayer (see Chapter 1 of the book) but also took special precautions to avoid the worse.

What about pregnancy?

This is something we can apply to our pregnancies as well.

While we don’t have physical enemies coming after us with sword and shield, we do have spiritual enemies who come only to steal, kill and destroy.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rules, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

~Ephesians 6:12

The enemy wants nothing more to steal our joy, kill our children, and destroy our hope

 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

~John 10:10

But Jesus came that we may have LIFE. It’s no coincidence that God says “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28).

We must be aware of this life and death fight

And this is where we can use Nehemiah to help us. Nehemiah did three very important things:

  1. He prayed – over and over
  2. He maximized their safety by telling half the people to work and half the people to stand guard (Nehemiah 4:13-18)
  3. He made a plan to gather and fight together if and when necessary (Nehemiah 4:19-20)

“The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. Whenever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us!”

~Nehemiah 4:19b-20

We can do the same in our pregnancy journey. Don’t let the enemy get a foothold. Be prepared with a team of fighters at your side.

  1. Pray – a TON
  2. Invite your friends to stand with you in prayer – Don’t wait until something goes wrong. Ask as soon as you consider trying to conceive, tell them when you’re pregnant, and keep them apprised of your pregnancy throughout.
  3. Make a plan and use it. Sound the trumpet! Call or email your army to fight with you if anything goes wrong, and especially to praise with you when things go right.

Why is this so important?

We must build an army from the beginning because the enemy is there lying to us from the very beginning. When we’re trying to conceive, he’ll plant all types of lies in our heads about the potential outcome of this attempt.

He’ll remind us of our loss at every turn and urge us to reconsider continuing to try. If we don’t conceive month after month, he’ll tell us that something’s wrong with our body and we’ll never get pregnant.

He’s a liar! We need a team to help ward him off with an abundance of prayer.

Then, when conception does happen, there’s that enemy again – telling us what could go wrong, when it might go wrong, and all the ways we could make it go wrong. We’re second-guessing our every meal, activity, and thought. Why would we ever want to go through this without a support team covering us in prayer?

Lastly – IF we do have another miscarriage, wouldn’t we want a team of friends and family right there and ready to support us through another loss? IF I start to bleed early on, I want to say “Please pray for me, I’m bleeding” not “So, I’m pregnant but I’m bleeding, so can you be praying for me?” Why put my friends through the roller-coaster of seeing “I’m pregnant” and then immediately bursting their bubble with the unknown but clear possibility. I don’t know about you, but telling someone I’ve lost the baby is hard enough without adding to it the potential of telling them I was pregnant, but now I’m not. Why not just give them the story while it’s occurring rather than after the fact?

If you don’t have a group of people that can pray with you – let me! Send me a quick note to ask for prayers; I’d love to pray with you through this season.

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The Barakah of Trusting Allah: Continuing After A Miscarriage

Prayer After A Miscarriage

Download our 21 Sources of Barakah Resource Sheet + Infographic!

“I am very sorry. The baby does not have a heartbeat.” Two sentences. Eleven words. These words shot through my ears a rocket. Pain, heartbreak, and sadness rushed through my veins. I felt confusion, denial, and shock. I cried, and cried, and cried. I began to think of all the plans and dreams my husband and I had for our first baby.

I then remembered that I was just a human. A flawed and imperfect piece of flesh made from clay. This was not something I could control or could have avoided. This was part of Allah’s plan for me.

As humans, we plan, and plan, and plan, but Allah is the best of planners. I knew this was the plan that Allah had prepared for me since I was in my mother’s womb. I was confident that Allah had a reason behind this sadness.

I was happy to know that Allah knew I was strong enough to handle this trial. Allah says in the Qur’an,

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2: Verse 286]

It was after this realization that I uttered “inna lilah wa inna ilayhi raji’oon, alhamdulilah alaa kulli hal” –

Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return. Praise be to Allah in every circumstance.

In the past years, whenever I was in the need for help or motivation, I always turned to Productive Muslim for encouragement and support. This was my secret source of energy. Unfortunately, this was the first time in eight years that I could not find what I was looking for at Productive Muslim.

I settled for searching up random articles on google with the phrase “continuing after a miscarriage”. As I was looking through a variety of articles on miscarriage, I thought of all the Muslimahs who had gone through the same painful experience as I was going through.

It was then that I felt the need to give you my advice on how to continue with life after having a miscarriage.

Dealing with pain

Pain comes in two different ways: physical and emotional. Getting sick would be considered a physical pain while the loss of a loved one would be an emotional pain. Unfortunately, miscarriage falls under both types of pain. It targets you physically and emotionally.

I tried to fight back the emotional pain, but sometimes the physical pain became stronger making me vulnerable to the emotional pain. I tried to put on a happy face, but I somehow associated everything around me to my precious unborn baby. I tried and tried, but I unwillingly succumbed to pain each time. I didn’t feel leaving my bed.

I was in no mood to study for my upcoming midterms. I didn’t want to return to school or work. I didn’t want to be around people. The first time I tried to go the house after my miscarriage, everyone I saw either asked about my pregnancy or gave my condolences for my miscarriage.

Each time I had to explain, it brought back all the pain again.

However, I am getting better, day by day, and I am learning to live with this. I no longer feel bursting into tears every time I see a pregnant lady, or a mother playing with her child, or baby clothing in stores.

I am beginning to feel happiness again, and no longer have to pretend when I smile. This does not mean I have forgotten. I will never forget the precious weeks I spent with my unborn baby.

This only means I am learning how to continue after a miscarriage.

For those who have been in the same situation as I was, I am very sorry this happened to you, and I make sincere dua that Allah blesses you with healthy children in the near future. For my readers who have not experienced such heart break, I pray that Allah gives you healthy pregnancies to term.

During my miscarriage, there was one specific thing that gave me comfort. It was my faith in Allah and the barakah we gain from trusting Him. It gave me the boost I needed to regain control of my life. I thought of how blessed I was as a Muslim to be able to have confidence that my life was in the hands of Allah .

It was then that I added the word “Islam” to my google search phrase “continuing after a miscarriage”. Having this tawakkul in Allah brought me so much barakah strength I needed to continue. It was the barakah in this knowledge that gave me the shed of light I needed to continue.

Educating myself on the topic of miscarriage in Islam was my first step in recovery.

Step 1: Educate yourself

Alhamdulilah we are blessed with the most merciful and compassionate religion. I was astonished by all the information I found on Islam and miscarriage.

Reading ahadeeth regarding miscarriage and stories of companions who had miscarriages or lost their children gave me an unbelievable amount of comfort.

I thought that I had lost my baby forever – until I came across this beautiful hadeeth.

Prophet Muhammad said, “The miscarried fetus will plead with his Lord if his parents are admitted to Hell. It will be said: “O fetus who pleads with your Lord! Admit your parents to Paradise.” So he will drag them out with his umbilical cord until he admits them to Paradise.’” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

How beautiful is this? Allah’s mercy and compassion I will be reunited with my baby in sha Allah by the doors of heaven. This hadeeth made me burst into tears of happiness and joy.

Step 2: Pray the night prayer

I barely slept after my miscarriage, due to both the physical and emotional pain. One night I forced myself bed, made wudu, and prayed qiyam. I felt the closest I had ever been to Allah during that single prayer. Usually when I would start crying randomly, my husband, or mother, or mother in law would comfort me. This time it was different.

I cried my eyes out on my prayer mat as I made dua to Allah and He was there comforting me. It was such a beautiful feeling for me alhamdulilah. I cannot even describe the level of comfort this prayer gave me. There I was, making sujood on my prayer mat feeling I was directly pouring my heart out to Allah and telling Him about the suffering I was going through.

My qiyam prayer was one of the strongest steps towards my emotional recovery.

3. Make intense dua

In addition to prayer, I used the tool of dua to speak with Allah . I raised my hands to The Most Merciful and cried my eyes out to Him .

Prophet Muhammad said, “There is nothing more honorable with Allah [Most High] than supplication.” [Tirmidhi]

I prayed for physical, emotional, and spiritual strength. I prayed for healthy pregnancy in the future. I prayed for my husband’s comfort and emotional recovery. I prayed for my sisters in Islam who have experienced this.

I prayed to be reunited with my unborn angel in heaven. I prayed for everything and anything. Making dua was the only thing I was able to do while I was on bed rest, and I did my best to take advantage of this source of barakah.

4. Have a support system

It would have been unbelievably hard for me to overcome this burden without my family and friends. My husband gave me a shoulder to cry on and constantly reminded me that this was a test from Allah and that we are strong enough to pass it.

My mother and mother in law stayed by me, cooked for me, completed my house chores, and were there for me every minute of the day. My friends helped me catch up on school assignments and spoke to my professors. I was very blessed to have this support system.

If you are going through a miscarriage, find your support system, and don’t be afraid to ask for help from those around you.

5. Take some time off to grieve

Taking time off was essential for me. I emailed my professors to excuse me from their classes, and I emailed my boss to take a leave from work. I needed this break, not only to recover physically, but emotionally.

I wasn’t ready to see people and answer their many questions concerning my pregnancy and miscarriage, or see all the things outside of my bedroom that reminded me of my baby. I needed time to heal.

Don’t feel you are weak if you need time off. This is normal.

6. Don’t go to social gatherings until you are ready

Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. Just a week after my miscarriage, I had to attend a family engagement party.

I honestly didn’t feel getting dressed up and seeing people, but I had to because of family obligations, and without doubt, I got questions about my pregnancy and miscarriage. I fought with all my strength to not tear up and cry, asked my husband to leave early.

Seeing all those people at the engagement was too overwhelming for me; it was just too early.
Download our 21 Sources of Barakah Resource Sheet + Infographic!

7. Prepare to answer questions

When you feel ready and comfortable to get your house, think about the answers you want to give people and how much information you want to share. Unfortunately, sometimes people can be nosy and curious. Don’t share more than you are comfortable with, and don’t hesitate to tell people you don’t want to talk about it. Don’t let anyone force you in a situation of discomfort.

8. Never lose hope and grow impatient

This last piece of advice is very important. Never ever lose faith and trust in Allah , for everything He does has a purpose and wisdom behind it. Be patient. Your time will come in sha Allah. Constantly make dua that Allah gives you what is in your heart. This is what will ultimately be a source of barakah in your life.

Prophet Zakariya asked Allah in the Qur’an, “He said, “My Lord, how will I have a boy when my wife has been barren and I have reached extreme old age?” Then an angel replied to him saying, “[An angel] said, “Thus [it will be]; your Lord says, ‘It is easy for Me, for I created you before, while you were nothing.’ “[Qur’an: Chapter 19: Verses 8-9]

Allah can easily bless you with children; it is just a matter of when. Put your trust in Allah and have faith that there is barakah in everything Allah does. I end this article with a prayer and I ask for you to keep my husband and I in your dua.

“O Allah, I ask you to give every husband and wife the feeling of being a parent and to bless every couple that is struggling with infertility with a healthy child in the near future. Ameen.”

Have you or anyone close to you suffered from a miscarriage? Share your advice in the comments section below on how to deal with the grief and continue after this trial.
Download our 21 Sources of Barakah Resource Sheet + Infographic!

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Healing after miscarriage, physically, emotionally, and spiritually

Prayer After A Miscarriage

If you are experiencing that sinking feeling in your soul right now, when you realize a miscarriage has begun, I want to send you my deepest condolences. A woman’s body has many specific needs after birthing, and miscarriage is no different.

Don’t chuck that pregnancy book out the window yet

Depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy, your miscarriage experience may be very much labor. Review the chapters on relaxation techniques, comfort measure solutions, etc., just in case you need them to get through waves of contractions over the next few days. (Yes, days.)

Check with your doctor/midwife

Make sure they know about your miscarriage signs and keep you and your husband advised of any emergency signs that require a trip to the hospital (such as a fever or other signs of infection, sharp pains, excessive blood loss, loss of consciousness, etc).

As long as everything is progressing normally, you can have a natural miscarriage in the peaceful privacy of your home. (Your healthcare provider may offer to visit you and/or provide support over the phone.) Make sure to have your husband or a support person with you just in case. Schedule a follow-up appointment.

Stock up on lots of pads – quickly

Even if you don’t usually use pads during a period, you’ll need them during a miscarriage, as you pass the baby/tissue, and lots of blood loss. Keep enough on hand to last you a couple weeks.

Relax & Release

An important part of giving birth naturally is the “letting go” experience, and the same is true for miscarriage, as emotionally difficult as this is.

As you relax and release, you allow your cervix to fully open up, and for the contractions to become effective.

A warm shower, heat packs, or sitting on the toilet can help, along with a restful atmosphere of quiet music, candles, etc; just in labor.

Healing physically after a miscarriage

Physical healing always seems to happen faster than the emotional healing. In your grief, you may not have much of an appetite, but it is important to nourish your body during this recovery time.

As you rebuild after the blood loss, the nutrient demands of a pregnancy, and now the needs of healing, make sure to prepare whole-foods meals full of iron, healing vitamins such as K & C, good fats, etc.

A midwife/herbalist may recommend an herbal tincture for you, such as crampbark or false unicorn. Check with your natural healthcare provider for the appropriate dosage for your needs. You may also find drinking wild red raspberry leaf tea helpful, especially as you heal enough to begin preparing for another pregnancy.

Rest after a miscarriage

Even if you feel capable of continuing your daily duties, you need time to fully heal. You don’t want to cause unnecessary damage/blood loss from “over-doing it” as your uterus recovers.

A couple of weeks of rest will also allow you the space to begin grieving and emotionally walking through this season in a healthy way; especially as you may experience both a combination of grief and “postpartum blues” of hormonal fluctuations.

Healing emotionally after a miscarriage

A flood of emotions may pour over you in your journey through miscarriage. Grief is always a fluctuating, organic experience. It’s not a time of predictable “stages.” You won’t always know what is coming next, and waves of grief may catch you by surprise.

In addition, husbands and wives will grieve differently, often being in different “stages” in any one day. (My husband wrote about our infertility/miscarriage experience here from his point of view.)

Take time as husband and wife to rest and grieve together, sharing your hearts’ dreams and disappointments. In the midst of raw grief and hormonal fluctuations, conversations can be challenging at first, but try to keep communication open and full of grace during this season.

Choosing a name for the baby, scrapbooking/journaling, and/or planning a small memorial service can be healing steps. Even just lighting a candle can be a soothing reminder.

Visiting favorite restful getaways or mini-retreats can be helpful to the healing journey, whether alone or together. A quiet time of prayer on a forest hike, a weekend of watching stormy waves on the beach, a walk through local rose gardens, or a stay at a bed & breakfast or campsite may help revive your spirit and give you time to walk through your grief.

Telling others about your loss can be an especially challenging part of the journey. Writing a letter to extended family and friends, in a card expressing your heart, can be a simple way of sharing about your loss without having to voice the same sad words repeatedly.

Phone calls to close family and friends are an opportunity to let them know how they can help support you in the coming weeks (meals, house cleaning, childcare, as well as telling others for you).

As people hear about your loss, they may express often well-meaning, but insensitive or painful thoughts. In the rawness of your grief, these words may especially catch you by surprise.

It may be helpful to prayerfully prepare in advance (before going out into public) some affirming words that you can speak in response, which honor the miracle of the little soul you carried- and will always love.

Healing spiritually after a miscarriage

The ache of empty arms after a miscarriage can feel especially acute if you ignore the spiritual aspects of the healing journey. In your grief, it can be difficult to imagine celebrating, but I want to recognize you as a mama, the one who carried this precious little one and nourished him/her within in you.

I believe it is the Lord who creates life and puts families together. He chose to create this little life, and place it in the intimacy of your womb for those days.

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13-16)

As parents, we are never given a guarantee how long we will have our children. Of course, we all hope to hold them in our arms, and joyfully see them grow up in our ripe old age.

But many times, God allows us only a short time with our little ones. (I love how Angie and her family embraced this, in celebrating the short days of their precious daughter.) Many foster/adoptive parents understand this concept as well, pouring themselves with thankfulness into each given day full of an unknown future.

Whether the time is short or long between discovering this little life within and having to say goodbye, releasing can be an incredibly painful, angering process. Just as with anything (or anyone) in life, God calls us to surrender to Him; as Kim Brenneman says,

“Hold things with a light hand, because they are not yours in the first place. They belong to God.”

This doesn’t mean feeling “unattached” or flippant about the blessing you’ve been given but recognizing the omniscient sovereignty of God, who will walk through these agonizing days with you. I say this not to be insensitive, but to encourage you.

You may benefit from a short season of walking with a counselor or grief support group, as you journey on a daily basis through this releasing and walking toward healing in a healthy way, free of bitterness and anger. (Many hospitals or midwives can help direct you to local groups.)

I also found it helpful to mull over the concept that this little soul could now worship God in heaven; not as an angel, but as the child of God I am raising all my little ones to be. What a precious honor of motherhood! I look forward to the day when we can all rejoice together!

My blessings and prayers go with you today, dear one.

Michele and her husband Calvin live a simple & sustainable life as innkeepers at Hampton Creek Inn in rural Washington with their two little ones. Michele loves encouraging women and equipping them for frugal, natural living through her blog, Frugal Granola.

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