Prayers For Loss Of A Grandchild
10 Prayers for the Departed and Dearly Missed
Death and dying are parts of life. While some people fear them, others draw inspiration from death.
As nurses, it’s inevitable for us to see some of our patients die and their families deeply grieve for them. Although we can’t bring back their loved ones, there are still ways for us to provide comfort, strength and guidance to the families our patients left behind.
Here are 10 powerful prayers for the departed.
For the recently deceased
In your hands, O Lord,we humbly entrust our brothers and sisters.In this life you embraced them with your tender love;deliver them now from every evil
and bid them eternal rest.
The old order has passed away:welcome them into paradise,where there will be no sorrow, no weeping or pain,but fullness of peace and joywith your Son and the Holy Spirit
forever and ever.
Prayer for the souls in purgatory
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
Prayer for deceased relatives and friends
Almighty Father, source of forgiveness and salvation, grant that our relatives and friends who have passed from this life may, through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints, come to share your Eternal happiness through Christ our Lord. Amen
Prayers for the deceased for forgiveness and peace and for mourners
Lord Jesus, our Redeemer, You willingly gave Yourself up to death so that all people might be saved and pass from death into a new life. Listen to our prayers; look with love on Your people who mourn and pray for their dead brother/sister.
Lord Jesus, You alone are holy and compassionate; forgive our brother/sister his/her sins.
By dying You opened the gates of life for those who believe in You; do not let Your brother/sister be parted from You, but by Your glorious power give him/her light, joy, and peace in heaven where You live for ever and ever. Amen.
My brother (sister) in faith, I entrust you to God Who created you.May you return to the One Who formed you from the dust of this earth.May Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life.May Christ Who was crucified for you bring you freedom and peace.May Christ, the Son of God, Who died for you take you into His kingdom.May Christ, the Good Shepherd, give you a place within His flock.May He forgive your sins and keep you among His people.
May you see your Redeemer face to face and enjoy the sight of God forever. Amen.
I commend you, my dear [name] to almighty God, and entrust you to your Creator.May you rest in the arms of the Lord who formed you from the dust of the earth.May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints welcome you now that you have gone forth from this life.
May Christ who was crucified for you, bring you freedom and peace.May Christ who died for you admit you into his garden of paradise.May Christ, the true Shepherd, embrace you as one of his flock.May he forgive all your sins and set you among those he has chosen.
May you see your Redeemer face to face and enjoy the vision of God, forever.
Prayer for unexpected death
Heavenly Father we know and believe that our times are in Your hands, but Lord it’s so often such a shock to us when a dear loved one meets with a sudden or unexpected death – through an accident or perhaps due to some unforeseen tragedy, which takes the life of someone they loved – long before it would be expected.
Lord, we bring before You today those who are having to go through such a tragic loss and pray that You would be very close to each one that is in mourning today over such a loss – and are perhaps confused or even angry that such a devastating occurrence has overtaken them – without any apparent warning.
You are the God of all comfort Who comforts us in time of need and we pray that for those that are facing such a difficult trial today. Uphold them we pray, and ask that You draw very close to them … raise up we pray, the right people to minister to them and to be a genuine comfort and support at this time of tragedy and grief.
Lord, we don’t understand why our loved ones should suddenly be removed from us through a sudden, unexpected death – but Lord we trust You to soothe away the hurt in time – for shall not the God of all the earth do right…. In Jesus name, we pray,
Prayer for deceased parents
O God, Who has commanded usto honor our father and mother,have compassion in Thy mercy,on the souls of my father and mother;forgive them their sins,and grant that I may see themin the joy of eternal brightness.
Through Christ our Lord.
Prayer after violent death
Father, we bring before You those that have had the devastating experience of having someone close to them that they know and love, suffer a sudden, violent and needless death. Lord how we grieve for those that are having to experience this right now, and we pray that in Your grace You would look down with pity and mercy and meet them right at their point of need.
Lord, You are the one Who was sent to heal the broken-hearted and comfort those that mourn and are heavy-laden.
You are the One Who promised that Your grace is sufficient for every eventuality – even for those having to face the sudden and violent death of someone close to them.Draw near to them we pray and lift them up into You arms of love and carry them during this time of suffering and grief for You have promised that underneath are Your everlasting arms.
Lord, as we lift up in prayer those that are having to come to terms with the sudden and violent death of a loved one – we pray that You would use this tragedy to be the thing that starts to draw each suffering soul into the tender arms of their Saviour – the Lord Jesus Christ, in Whose name we pray,
Prayer for a deceased brother, relative or friend
You are, O God,quick to pardon and desire man’s salvation.In Your goodness we ask You to grant our deceased brothers,relatives, and friends everlasting happiness.With the help of Blessed Mary ever Virginand all Your saints,
we ask this through Christ, our Lord.
Prayer to say on the day of a person’s death
O God, Whose property is always to have mercy and to spare, we humbly beseech Thee for the soul of Thy servant N…, which Thou hast this day commanded to depart this world, that Thou wouldst not deliver it into the hands of the enemy, nor forget it unto the end, but wouldst command it to be received by the Holy Angels, and conducted to Paradise, its true country; that as in Thee it hath hoped and believed, it may not suffer the pains of hell, but may take possession of eternal joys.
Through Christ our Lord.
See Also: 10 Inspiring Songs To Help With Grief
Share these beautiful prayers to friends or family who need them.
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The Loss of a Grandchild
When a grandchild dies, you have to cope with a double load – your own grief for the baby and the suffering of your own child.
One grandmother wrote:
For me, the suffering was doubly dreadful, for not only did I have to watch my loved grandson suffer and struggle for life, but I had to stand by and see my daughter completely heartbroken and be unable, perhaps for the first time since I gave birth to her, to help her in any way.
It is always sad when someone dies, but the death of a baby is especially tragic because it comes when a new life was expected. A grandparent-to-be usually looks forward to a special relationship with the grandchild, but if the baby dies, that relationship is lost.
‘She was my first grandchild,’ said one woman, ‘and I’d longed to hold her before her parents even met.’
The death of your grandchild may revive memories of other losses in your life, but at the same time, your grief may be overlooked as the focus is mainly on the baby’s parents.
As a parent, you feel pain when your child suffers. You may feel helpless because you cannot protect your child from sorrow. You may perhaps feel shut out if your child turns to someone else in grief.
You may experience many emotions that may seem ‘wrong’ but are, in fact, completely normal.
Anger – may be directed at health professionals, the other side of the family (in-laws), God, or even the baby for causing such distress.
Guilt – may arise because you fear the baby may have inherited a problem from you, or because you had bad thoughts about the pregnancy, or because you feel your reactions and feelings are inappropriate.
Conflict – your religious beliefs, perhaps, may differ from your child’s, so you see these events in a different way. You may have been taught to ‘keep a stiff upper lip’ or ‘not to talk about these things’ and find it hard to accept or understand the way stillbirths and newborn deaths are approached today.
Things to do at the time of the stillbirth or death
- If you live close enough, go to the hospital and see the baby’s parents.
- If it is possible for you to see the baby, do so. This will be helpful to you in mourning your grandchild and also to your own child, who will value shared memories.
- There may be ceremonies – baptism or blessing, funeral or memorial service – and it may be helpful to attend.
- If you feel you can, offer to help with practical details that often fall to the father – help him to register the birth and death, help arrange the funeral – but try not to be too hurt if the offer is rejected.
- Your child has probably been given leaflets, which you can read. They may help your grief and also give you an idea of how the baby’s parents feel and how you can help.
- Continue to visit, phone or write and provide love and support.
- It will help your child’s grief and your own if you can talk about the baby using his or her name.
- In many cases, parents have a photo of the baby – don’t feel it is macabre if this is displayed. Perhaps in time you might a copy.
- If you are emotionally close to your child, you can provide great comfort, but you can also cause great pain. Be careful about using comforting phrases, which may come easily to your lips. Don’t say ‘You can have another baby’ or ‘At least you have the other children’, as this can be very hurtful. Their baby who died was wanted for him or herself. Other children will not be a replacement.
- Try to accept their emotions as valid and not offer platitudes, however well intentioned they may be.
- Don’t feel you have to be strong. If you want to cry, do so. Children are usually helped by knowing that their parents care.
One young mother said:
When my child was stillborn, it was my mother’s first grandchild … I never realised that his death would affect her so much. She had looked forward to him, and now she missed him too. I was glad that she showed her emotion – by doing that, it showed she cared and that she had loved him too.
- It will take your child a long time to recover from the death of their baby – probably longer than you expect. Even when the first grief has passed, the sadness will last for years, with anniversaries and special occasions being particularly hard. Parents and families need to learn to live with their grief because the loss will never disappear. As well as sorrow, the parents may feel anger and guilt, and the mother, especially, may feel jealous of other parents with babies. Try not to condemn these feelings; they are part of the grieving process.
- A father will also grieve but may hide his feelings more.
- Be aware of holidays and special dates (the due date, the day the baby died, the day the baby was born) and try to remember them if possible. Talk to your son or daughter and their partner about what they hope and need for those days, rather than make a decision or do something for them.
- Future pregnancies will be very anxious times, and a new baby may be greeted with very mixed emotions. A new baby will not replace a baby who has died but will become another family member.
Finally, do be aware that experiencing this loss of your grandchild may remind you of other losses you have experienced in your life, whether it was a baby of your own that died, your parents or your husband or wife. Feelings you had at the time of that loss may resurface – this is natural and nothing to be alarmed about.
Grief is not something that ends, that we ‘get over’. Some say that grief comes in waves, and while the loss you are remembering may have been many years ago, there are still feelings that may lap at your feet a gentle tide and others that may swamp you an unexpected wave.
Take things gently and slowly – both for yourself and for your son or daughter and their family.
Prayers for Grandchildren
Pray for my grandsons that they make the right choices in lifeand that they study hard in order to get a good education.Please guide Dazan as he starts his first year ofcollege and away from home.Dear Jesus, protect him and help him with school.I also pray that he comes back hometo visit with his family that loves him unconditionally.
Dear Jesus, guide him today. Thank you Jesus.
Hail Mary, Full of Grace,The Lord Is with thee,Blessed art thou amongst womenAnd blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus;Holy Mary, Mother of God,Pray for us sinners … now,And at the hour of our death.
Father in Heaven, You love me.You are with me night and day.I want to love you always, In all I do and say.I’ll try to please you, Father.Bless me through the day.
Jesus, keep me all this day.When at school and when at play;May I do the things I ought,May I hate each evil thought;Help me love and trust in TheeNow and through eternity.
I thank Thee, Lord, for sleep and rest,For all the things that I love best,Now guide me through another dayAnd bless my work and bless my play.Lord, make me strong for noble ends,Protect and bless my loving friends;Of all mankind good Christians make.All this I ask for Jesus’ sake.
Guardian Angel Prayer
O Angel of God, my Guardian dear,to whom God’s love commits me here.Ever this day, be at my sideto light, to guard, to rule, to guide.
Now the light has gone away;Jesus, listen while I pray.Asking Thee to watch and keepAnd to send me peaceful sleep.Jesus, Saviour, wash awayAll that has been wrong today;Help me each and every day to beGood and gentle, more Thee.Let my near and dear ones beAlways near and dear to Thee.O bring me and all I loveTo Thy happy home above.
l praise to Thee, my God, this nightFor all the blessings of the light:O Keep me, keep me, King of kings,Beneath Thine own almighty wings.
Angels bless and angels keep,Angels guard me while I sleep.Bless my heart and bless my home,Bless my spirit as I roam.Guide and guard me through the night,and wake me with the morning’s light.
Prayers before meals
Bless us, O Lord,And these, thy gifts,Which of thy bounty,We are about to receiveThrough Christ, Our Lord,
For food in a world where many walk in hunger;For faith in a world where many walk in fear;For friends in a world where many walk alone;We give you thanks, O Lord.
We thank you, Father God, for the love that binds us, for the food that nourishes us, and for your giving of your Son into our world to save us.
The Glory Be
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
Prayers after meals
Thank you, God, for the food we have eaten.Thank you, God, for all our friends.Thank you, God, for everything.
Accept, O Lord, our thankful praises,For all Thy goodness did bestow;May it increase our faith and lead us,Our praise by godly lives to show;That every deed and word may proveWe trust and own our Father’s love.
Almighty God, We give You thanks for all Your benefits goodness and graces, which we have received through Christ Our Lord.
An act of faith
O my God, I firmly believe that Thou art one God in three Divine Persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; I believe that Thy Divine Son became man and died for our sins, and that He will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe these and all the truths which the Holy Catholic Church teaches, because Thou hast revealed them, who canst neither deceive nor be deceived.
An act of hope
O my God, relying on Thy almighty power and infinite mercy and promises, I hope to obtain pardon of my sins, the help of Thy grace, and life everlasting, through the merits of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Redeemer.
Prayer to The Holy Spirit
Come, Holy Spirit, ﬁll the hearts of your faithful. And kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And you shall renew the face of the earth.
Lord, by the light of the Holy Spirit, you have taught the hearts of your faithful. In the same Spirit, help us to relish what is right and always rejoice in your consolation.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
An act of charity
O my God, I love Thee above all things, with my whole heart and soul, because Thou art all good and worthy of all love. I love my neighbor as myself for the love of Thee. I forgive all who have injured me, and ask pardon of all whom I have injured.
The act of contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee. And I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven, and the pains of Hell but,most of all, because I love Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life.
Our Father, who art In heavenHallowed be Thy NameThy kingdom comeThy will be done on earth as it is in heavenGive us this day our daily breadAnd forgive us our trespassesAs we forgive those who trespass Against usAnd Lead us not Into temptationBut deliver us from evil
Coping with the Loss of a Grandchild
Grieving the death of a loved one is quite possibly the most difficult experience we can endure. The feelings of disbelief, helplessness and sorrow that often accompany grief are a natural and normal response to the death of someone we love.
While the death of anyone you are close to will be difficult, for grandparents coping with the loss of a grandchild, navigating the dark and unique road of grief may be decidedly more complex.
Grandparents who are grieving the death of a grandchild are often “neglected mourners,” taking a back seat to the primary mourners – the parents and siblings of the child who died.
When it comes to offering empathy and support, grandparents are often forgotten or are too focused on “staying strong” for their loved ones to process their own feelings.
A Grandparent’s Grief is Unique
According to Dr. Alan Wolfelt, renowned author, educator and grief counselor, when a grandparent experiences the death of a grandchild, they are faced with a unique grieving process, mourning the death on many levels.
Wolfelt explains, “when a grandchild dies, grandparents grieve twice. They mourn the loss of the child, and they feel the pain of their own child’s suffering.”
Grandparents are in the extraordinary position of playing two roles: that of mourner and protector. Dr. Wolfelt continues, “a parent’s love for a child is perhaps the strongest of all human bonds.
For the parents of the child who died, the pain of grief may seem intolerable.
For the grandparents, watching their own child suffer so and feeling powerless to take away the hurt can feel almost as intolerable.”
Grandparents who live at a distance and did not have close or frequent contact with their grandchild might also experience additional feelings of guilt and regret, or mourn the loss of a relationship they never had the opportunity to embrace.
The Search for Meaning
For people coping with the death of a loved one, the search to find meaning in such a tragedy is a normal and necessary part of the grieving process. This is no different for grandparents who have lost a grandchild. Dr. Wolfelt explains that grandparents – many of whom have already lived long, rich lives – may struggle with feelings of guilt.
It is not uncommon for grandparents to consider questions such as “why couldn’t it have been me, instead?” or “how could God let this happen?”
Searching for meaning in the death of a grandchild may naturally lead to more fundamental considerations, including:
- How you will carry on living with this devastating loss in your life
- The meaning and purpose of life
- Your philosophy on life
- Your religious and spiritual values
Talking to a trusted friend or professional – perhaps someone outside of the family unit – will allow you to express your feelings and help to relieve the heavy burden weighing on your heart.
How to Support Someone Who is Coping with the Loss of a Grandchild
Dr. Wolflet suggests considering the following tips when supporting a grandparent who has lost a grandchild:
- Avoid cliché’s: Words, particularly clichés, can be extremely painful for a grieving grandparent because they diminish the very real and very painful loss of a unique child.
- Be aware of holidays and other significant days: Visit the grandparent, write a note or simply give them a quick phone call during these times. Your ongoing support will be appreciated and healing.
- Be compassionate: Give the grandparent permission to express their feelings without fear of criticism. Don’t instruct, or set expectations about how they should respond. Never say, “I know how you feel.” You don’t.
- Listen with your heart: Listen attentively and try to understand. Don’t worry so much about what you will say, rather concentrate on the words that are being shared with you.
- Offer practical help: Preparing food and washing clothes are just a few of the practical ways of showing you care.
Whether you are coping with the loss of a grandchild or supporting someone who is, always be kind and don’t assume unrealistic expectations. There is no timeline for how long grief should last. Dr. Wolfelt suggests taking a one-day-at-a-time approach.
After all, “grief is not an enemy to be vanquished, but a necessity to be experienced as a result of having loved.”
If you had to go through the loss of a grandchild, what tips do you have for other grandparents working through this difficult experience?