Prayer To Overcome Fear Of Losing A Baby
Fear of Abandonment: Overcoming the Fear of Being Left Alone
Attachment, Relationship Problems, Relationships By Carolyn Joyce
Many people grow up with fears around abandonment. Some are plagued by these fears pretty consistently throughout their lives.
They worry they’ll be rejected by peers, partners, schools, companies, or entire social circles. For many others, these fears aren’t fully realized until they enter into a romantic relationship.
Things will be going along smoothly, and all of a sudden, they feel inundated with insecurity and dread that their partner will distance themselves, ignore, or leave them. Everyone experiences this fear at different levels. Most of us can relate to having heightened anxiety over thoughts of rejection.
We may be set off by anything from an aloof first date to a longtime partner seeming distracted and unavailable.
In extreme cases, people may struggle with “autophobia,” an overwhelming fear of being alone or isolated, in which they perceive themselves as being ignored, or uncared for even when they’re with another person. They may also experience a fear of abandonment phobia, which is characterized by extreme dependency on others, and is commonly seen among individuals diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorders.
The degree to which a person is faced with this fear can shape how they live their lives and experience their relationships. However, there are effective ways for people to develop more security within themselves and overcome their fear of abandonment.They can start by understanding where this fear comes from.
How and why does it develop? How does it affect me in my current life? What are strategies for dealing with the anxiety that arises? How can I develop more resilience and experience less fear around relationships?
Where does fear of abandonment come from?
As children, people may experience real losses, rejections, or traumas that cause them to feel insecure and distrusting of the world. These losses and traumas can be dramatic, the death of a loved one, neglect, or emotional and physical abuse.
However, they can also occur at a much subtler level, in everyday interactions between parents and children. In order to feel secure, children have to feel safe, seen, and soothed when they’re upset.
However, it’s been said that even the best of parents are only fully attuned to their children around 30 percent of the time. Exploring their early attachment patterns can offer individuals’ insight into their fears around abandonment and rejection.
Understanding how their parents related to them and whether they experienced a secure attachment versus an insecure one, can give people clues into how they view relationships in the present.
Secure attachments form when caretakers are consistently available and attuned to a child’s needs. However, ruptures in these early relationships can lead children to form insecure attachments. From infancy, people learn to behave in ways that will best get their needs met by their parents or caretakers.
A parent who may at one moment be present and meeting the child’s needs, then at another moment be entirely unavailable and rejecting or, on the opposite end, intrusive and “emotionally hungry” can lead the child to form an ambivalent/ anxious attachment pattern.Children who experience this type of attachment tend to feel insecure. They may cling to the parent in an effort to get their needs met. However, they may also struggle to feel soothed by the parent.
They are often anxious and unsure in relation to the parent, who is erratic in their behavior, sometimes available and loving, and other times, rejecting or intrusive in ways that frustrate the child.
How early attachment patterns and fears of abandonment affect us in adulthood
A person’s early attachment history acts as an internal working model for how he or she expects relationships to work. As a result, people may carry their childhood insecurities and expectations for how others will behave into their adult relationships.
Children who experience an ambivalent attachment pattern may grow to have a preoccupied attachment pattern as adults, in which they continue to feel insecure in their relationships.
They “often feel desperate and assume the role of the “pursuer” in a relationship,” wrote Joyce Catlett, co-author of Compassionate Child Rearing. “They rely heavily on their partner to validate their self-worth.
Because they grew up insecure the inconsistent availability of their caregivers, they are “rejection-sensitive.” They anticipate rejection or abandonment and look for signs that their partner is losing interest.”
Adults who experience a fear of abandonment may struggle with a preoccupied attachment style. They frequently anticipate rejection and search for signs of disinterest from their partner. They may feel triggered by even subtle or imagined signs of rejection from their partner the real rejections they experienced in their childhood.
As a result, they may act possessive, controlling, jealous, or clingy toward their partner. They may often seek reassurance or display distrust. “However, their excessive dependency, demands and possessiveness tend to backfire and precipitate the very abandonment that they fear,” wrote Catlett.
She describes how some people who have a fear of abandonment behave in ways that are punishing, resentful, and angry when their partner doesn’t give them the attention and reassurance they believe they need to feel secure. “They often believe that unless they dramatically express their anxiety and anger, it is unly that the other person will respond to them,” wrote Catlett.However, some people with preoccupied attachments are more “reluctant to express their angry feelings toward a partner for fear of potential loss or rejection.” This can lead them to suppress their feelings, which can cause them to build up, and, eventually, spill out in outbursts of strong emotion.
Whether, they’re repressing or conveying their strong emotions, these individuals are being triggered in the present events from their past. Therefore, resolving these emotions is key to feeling stronger in themselves and experiencing healthier relationships.
A person’s early attachment style can also affect his or her partner selection. People often choose partners who fit with patterns from their past. For example, if they felt ignored as children, they may choose a partner who is self-centered or distant.
People are rarely aware of this process, but they may feel an extra attraction to a person who reminds them of someone from their past. Or they may find ways to recreate the emotional climate of their childhood.
People who are afraid of being abandoned often not only select partners who are less available, but they may also distort their partners, believing them to be more rejecting then they are. Finally, they sometimes even provoke the other person in ways that influence their partner to pull back and create more distance.
Catching on to these patterns, which Drs. Robert and Lisa Firestone call “selection, distortion, and provocation” can help people who have a fear of abandonment make better choices that can help them create more security.
How can we overcome fear of abandonment and change our attachment patterns?
Fortunately, a person’s style of attachment is not fixed. We can develop earned secure attachment as adults in several ways. As Dr. Lisa Firestone, who recently co-taught the online course Making Sense of Your Life: Understanding Your Past to Liberate Your Present and Empower Your Future with Dr.
Daniel Siegel, has said, “What’s broken in a relationship can often be fixed in a relationship.” What she means by this is not that a person’s current partner can be expected to fill the voids or heal all wounds from one’s childhood, but that experiencing a secure attachment can offer someone a new model for relationships and how people behave in them.
If a person is able to form a relationship with someone who has a long history of being securely attached, that person can learn that he or she doesn’t have to desperately cling to a person to get his or her needs met. Another way for individuals to develop more security within themselves is through therapy.Experiencing a secure relationship with a therapist can help a person form earned secure attachment.
Attachment research has further shown that it’s not just what happens to people in childhood that affects their adult relationships; it’s how much they make sense of and feel the full pain of what happened to them.
As human beings, we are not helpless victims of our past, but we do need to face our past in order to create a better future. One of the most effective ways for a person to develop secure attachment is by making sense of his or her story. Dr.
Daniel Siegel talks about the importance of creating a coherent narrative in helping individuals feel more secure and strengthened within themselves.
When people make sense of and convey their story, they get to know their patterns and triggers, and they aren’t as instinctively reactive in a relationship – be it with a romantic partner or with their children. When people make sense of their past, they may be less ly to feel such intense, knee-jerk fear of abandonment.
However, even when they do feel fear, they are far better able to calm themselves down. They can identify where their fear comes from and where it belongs, and they can take actions that are more rational and appropriate to the reality of their present lives. They can enhance and strengthen their relationships rather reacting with fear and insecurity and creating the distance they so fear.
Strategies to calm down when you experience fear of abandonment
Every one of us has fears about being left alone. Most of us struggle with some fundamental feelings that we are unlovable or won’t be accepted for who we are. We all have a “critical inner voice,” a negative internal dialogue that chronically criticizes us or gives us bad advice. This ‘voice’ often perpetuates our fear of abandonment: “He’s gonna leave you,” it warns.
“She’s probably cheating,” it cries. Because we all have “voices” and alarms that are set off when we feel triggered, it’s helpful to have tools and strategies to calm ourselves down when we notice our fears amp up.
One useful resource is this toolkit to help people cope with anxiety, which lists exercises and practices that are beneficial for anyone to utilize when they feel stirred up.
Another general practice to adopt is that of self-compassion. Researcher Dr. Kristin Neff has done studies, revealing countless benefits of self-compassion. Enhancing self-compassion is actually favorable to building self-esteem, because self-compassion doesn’t focus as much on judgment and evaluation. Rather, it involves three main elements:
- Self-kindness: This refers to the idea that people should be kind, as opposed to judgmental, toward themselves. This sounds simple in theory but is much more difficult in practice. The more people can have a warm, accepting attitude toward themselves and their struggles, the stronger they’ll feel in the face of difficult circumstances. We can all be a better friend to ourselves, even if we feel hurt or abandoned by someone else.
- Mindfulness: Being mindful is helpful, because it helps people not to over-identify with their thoughts and feelings in ways that allow them to get carried away. When people feel afraid of something being abandoned, they tend to have a lot of mean thoughts toward themselves perpetuating this fear. Imagine if you could acknowledge these thoughts and feelings without letting them overtake you. Could you take a gentler attitude toward yourself and let these thoughts pass clouds in the sky instead of floating off with them – without losing your sense of yourself and, often, reality?
- Common humanity: The more each of us can accept that we are human and, all humans, we will struggle in our lives, the more self-compassion and strength we can cultivate. If individuals can consistently remember that they are not alone and that they are worthy, they can help themselves avoid believing those cruel and incorrect messages, telling them that they will be abandoned or that they’re unwanted.
Moving on from fear of abandonment
Fear of abandonment can feel very real and very painful, but if people can practice self-compassion, they are more ly to get through those times when they’re triggered. The more individuals can trace these feelings to their roots in their past, the more they can separate these experiences from the present.
It takes courage for someone to be willing to see what hurt them and face the primal feelings of abandonment they may have had as children when they had no control over their situation. However, when people are able to face these feelings, they can essentially set themselves free from many of the chains of their past.
They can become differentiated adults, who are able to create new stories and new relationships in which they feel safe, seen, soothed, and therefore, secure.
adult attachment, attachment, child attachment, fear, insecurity, trust
Overcoming Fear of Man Because Fear of Man Brings a Snare
Fear is never from God and is the opposite of faith. Fear is an evil spirit! So fear is our enemy. It is a vital part of Satan’s kingdom and his desire to control us and to steal our faith. In fact fear has torment.
Do you have fear of man? It is a fear of others, authority. If you cannot look at a person in the eyes, then there is a fear of man coming a spirit of rejection.
Most of us experience a time in our lives when we fear men but we outhgt not have a fear of man but a fear of God instead.
If you are breathing in God’s Kingdom, God has a calling on your life! Are you going to let the enemy rob you? Will you let the Fear of Man stop you under the guise -It is not sitting there waiting for you with a title slapped on it? That you are not Perfect, not healed in everything YOU think you should be, before walking in it? Had I known that it was the spirit of Fear that stopped me from speaking out loud. From walking in the gifts that were naturally and supernaturally IN me, I could have done so much more for the Lord, and walked in such Joy so much sooner. Its just a very big mistake to waste another day.
Fear of Man causes compromising
When you have a fear of man, you have fear of rejection and want to fit in. What ends up happening is when you are wanting to fit in, you will do anything, that means compromising God to feel accepted and loved by others. It is a fear of man operating in your life. Fear of man brings a snare.
Peter walked with Jesus all that time, seeing miracle after miracle and yet at the end he denied Christ. Later he went on to do Great things.Doing what God calls us too does not necessarily mean its a Full Time Ministry position, But everytime it involves helping and serving of others. Let me give you some simple examples of God’s purposes and calling and what that might look .
What if Peter had a fear of man? Could he done the things the Lord called him to do? I said we need to get over a fear of man that brings a snare.
Fear of Man Antidote
The Word of God provides the antidote that combats the fear of man. When we feel intimidated by someone, God will take that weakness and make us strong. Heb. 11:34 says “Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.”
Open doors to a spirit of fear
- Have you lost a child? Possibly death- miscarriage ,disease, adoption, abortion.
- Have you lost a parent or spouse? In death, divorce.
- Have you lost a home and belongings? Due to death, divorce, unemployment, catastrophic weather?
- Have you lost the ability to work and disabled for a season? Due to disease or an accident?
These are just a few example of things that we all experience in one way or another. If you have overcome with God in victory to peace and joy in Christ- there is someone waiting to hear how do you do this?
How do you survive and want to live another day. How can they be healed?
So when you study Fear, Stress and Physiology with us and learn how Fear and Trauma robs you of so very much of His Joy in this life! You get excited at Knowing that God is waiting for the Truth in His word, to override what the enemy has meant for evil! That you can NOW walk in complete wholeness- His Peace. (nothing missing, nothing broken) That is the Good News! Selah
If you are not saved or confused about God’s love for you, check out the Salvation / Father’s Love Videos
Free Christian eBooks Download
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Broken Heart Sickness Disease Connection
Are We Chastened by Sickness
Hindrances to the Power of God for healing
Jesus Came to Destroy the Wroks of the Devil
The Misconception May Not Be God’s Will to Heal
Our Faith Activates Healing
Sickness for the Glory of God?
The Sin and Sickness Connection
We Are All Called To Heal
Where Does Disease Come From Satan or God?
Why Some People are Not Healed in Healing Lines
Why Do Some People Loose Their Healing
Is Healing For Today!
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Have You Tried This Way to Overcome Fear?
Last week we were once again reminded of the dangers in our world. In the aftermath fear has entered in, but most fear we are not sure where we should focus it. ISIS claimed responsibility, but who are they and where are they located. People fear the Syrian refugees flooding into many countries. Christians fear all Muslims as possible suspects.
Fear clouds our thinking because it focuses on problems and extrapolates potential problems that may happen later. Fear steals our hope. Fear attempts to prepare us for the potential problems, but it actually stops us from living.
Fear comes at us in many ways. Just yesterday it tried to enter my life. I share this story to highlight a way to overcome fear.
Getting Around in China Can Be Tricky
Getting around in China can be tricky. When you think of a highly populous nation, traffic can be chaotic. Add to this Chinese traffic rules don’t mirror those that I grew up with in America. The person who has the right of way is not the direction of the traffic as much as who gets there first. If you get your nose in front, you have the right of way.
This somehow works out well in the everyday traffic on the roads. The danger comes from traffic entering from side streets. They will jump out in front of you with the smallest openings giving you very little time to react.
I must admit most of this added pressure on the road is somewhat exciting. There is a lot more energy exerted than the short run to Trader Joe’s back home.
One additional obstacle we face is there are more than just cars on the road. There are scooters en masse, bikes, pedestrians, buses, road construction, parked cars in the road, and all of these coming from any direction.
There have been cars completely stopped in the middle lane of the expressway. There have been a herd of cows or goats down main roads. Then there are the grandmas with babies strapped to their backs hopping over barricades to cross the street.
In order to drive in China, you need to be prepared for anything.
Awaiting the Impact
Yesterday I was driving my electric scooter with my two girls piled on. They had a class with some other kids a short drive from our apartment. As we were coming home, my oldest was squished on the floorboard, and my youngest was balanced on my seat in front of me, and I was carrying a load of supplies in a backpack. It wasn’t as loaded as some other bikes, but we were full.
You can probably already tell where I’m going. We were coming down the street when another scooter decided to pull out from a side street and stop in front of us.
If I was alone I may have been able to avoid him with a quick stop or a sudden swerve of the bike. But with my two precious treasure on board, I was limited in my choices.I did my best to stop but was just a bit too slow and hit the bike that stopped perpendicularly in front of me.
As we fell I tried my best to slow the descent. I quickly got my leg down, but the momentum was more than I could offset. My oldest hit her head hard on the front of the e-bike but pretty much stayed on the floorboard. My youngest however came out head first to the street.
Was Everyone OK?
As we lay on the ground, a crowd immediately was present. People were already suggesting we go to the hospital. Across the street people had their cellphones out to take pictures. But as I laid on the ground, fear crashed in. Was everyone ok?
I reached for Elizabeth who had come out head first. She had a slight scratch on her nose. Rachel said she was fine and started speaking in Chinese to the bystanders.
The guy we hit was immediately on us trying to pull us off the ground. I resisted to make sure that adrenaline was not hiding real injuries. Then Elizabeth’s nose started to bleed.
She said it didn’t hurt, but it definitely added to the drama.
We all ended up a little sore, but for the most part safe. But in that moment I was completely control of the situation. In that moment I was depended on fate to guide the destiny of my precious girls.
Here is a Way to Overcome Fear
Fear wanted to set up a place in my heart. How many more circumstances in my life am I completely at the mercy of the actions of others? How much can I really control?
In that moment still on the ground with cars and buses driving by, I took my girls and started to thank God with them for His protection. With blood dripping on the street, we recognized our only true protection was from God. Instead of focusing on potential of more accidents, we recommitted the focus of our thoughts to how God protects us every moment of every day.
Fear tries to get us to focus on the problems or the potential of future problems. In order to break its hold we need to focus on God’s provisions and the steadfast hope we have that He will be there again. The way to overcome fear is to actively thank God. Thanksgiving is our key to overcome.Next week America will celebrate Thanksgiving. It’s coming at just the right time. We need this reminder of all the things for which we are thankful. Instead of spreading fear, let’s tell of our thanksgiving. You can start on the comments below. I would love to join with you in the news of God’s goodness to you. May this be the start of a season of seeing more of God’s provisions.
Kevin Shorter is the founder of this prayer-coach site and have served for several years in ministry and churches teaching on a variety of Biblical topics. Go to the contact page to request him to speak at your conferences and seminars.
33 Powerful Ways of Overcoming Fear … Right Now
Getting through fear is a skill that anyone can learn.
The problem is that most people cling to their fears, because it’s part of who they are.
If you aren’t ready to face your fears, you probably won’t transcend them.
And there’s nothing wrong in that. Everything happens in its own time.
If you’re reading this article though, I’m pretty sure that you’re ready to take another step forward.
You searched for this information, or you bumped into it, which isn’t just a coincidence.
Let’s have a look at some of my favorite ways of dealing with fear.
How to Start Overcoming Fear, Right Now
1. Awareness. Before you can begin overcoming fear, you have to be aware that your fears are causing havoc in your life. It’s easy to get so attached to your thoughts and feelings that you think they are all that exist, which couldn’t be further from the truth. You are not your fears. You are the awareness that experiences it.
2. Identify. Get specific about what exactly you’re afraid of. Look at the pictures you have in your head about the situation. What is happening in them? What are you really scared of? Become an observer of your inner space.
3. Curiosity. While curiosity may have killed the cat, it certainly won’t do you any harm when investigating your fears. Get curious about what thoughts generate your fear, where do you feel the fear, and how do you react to it? Again, be an observer of what is going on.
4. The Now. What are you lacking right now? When you center yourself in the now, you realize that everything is how it is. You naturally accept what is. Tapping into the now can be as simple as feeling your body and breath. My favorite book on the subject is Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
5. EFT. EFT is short for Emotional Freedom Techniques. You use your fingertips to tap meridian points on your body while thinking of a fear you have and it alleviates and sometimes gets rid of the fear altogether. Simple, yet extremely powerful.
6. Sedona Method. Another simple system to conquer fear is the Sedona method. It consists of asking a few simple questions while focusing on your fear. It’s so simple that I dismissed it several times before taking it seriously. Bad move!
7. The Work. The Work is very similar to the Sedona method in that it asks questions. The Work is one of my favorite ways of dealing with fears, anxieties, and worries. There are many methods available, so pick the one that you resonate with.
8. Hypnosis. With hypnosis, you can program the right thoughts into your mind and eliminate negative thoughts and beliefs. This doesn’t work for everyone, but it might for you. My brother uses it to consistently evoke positive change in his life. But remember, this isn’t necessarily about getting rid of your fears, but learning to relate to them in a different way.
9. Gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, switch it over to what you are grateful for instead. If you’re afraid of public speaking, be grateful for the opportunity to communicate with so many people, and that they are there to genuinely listen to what you have to say.
10. Journaling. Getting your fears down on paper is important, because trying to think them through doesn’t work. You get caught in endless loops of negativity that only lead you further down the rabbit hole, and make your life miserable.
11. Talk. No-brainer advice, but how often do we hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react, or because of some other reason? Talking helps, but don’t throw a pity party for yourself.
12. Therapy. If you can find a good therapist, therapy can be highly beneficial, even life-changing. Finding the right therapist for you can be hard. Listen to your heart and choose someone who resonates with you.
13. NLP. NLP is short for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I’ve been to a seminar with the co-founder, Richard Bandler. You learn how your mind works. NLP has helped thousands in eliminating phobias, fears, and other emotional problems, so it has its place, but only if it feels magnetic to you.
14. Life Coach. Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure? A good life coach can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from. I’ve spoken to a few in my life and while it can be scary, it’s very helpful in getting clear about what you want and what’s stopping you.
15. Read. Reading a good book on your specific fear can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. I also to read a lot of motivational and inspirational work on and around the topic I’m dealing with.
16. Take Action. I’m an action taker, and I know that fears are just fears. They are created by my imagination to make reality seem scarier than it is. When you take action and face your fears, they become weaker, because you realize that reality isn’t nearly as bad as your imagination.
17. Watch. Watching a movie or a documentary can be as enlightening as reading a book. Sometimes it’s nice to distract yourself from your fear, but if you really want to, you can find dozens of movies on the fear you’re dealing with.
18. Diet. Did you know that the food you eat can have a dramatic impact on how you feel? All the sugars, additives, sweeteners, and other chemicals in our foods have a surprisingly powerful effect in getting our body balance. Stick to a clean diet that suits you. Meaning, more fruits and vegetables. Just eat a bit more each day. See what happens.
19. Positivity. Whenever fear strikes, flip it over. Instead of thinking of something bad that can happen, think of something positive. What’s a positive outcome to your fear? If you’re thinking about public speaking, imagine yourself being wildly successful instead of failing horribly. This is very similar to #9, but with a small twist.
20. Perspective. Learning to deal with fear is all about putting your negative thoughts in perspective. We tend to focus too much on the negative, so by looking at all the options, you often realize that you’re making a big deal of nothing. There are so many things that can happen that it’s impossible for you to predict. We aren’t psychics.
21. Surrender. Surrendering to what is is powerful, because as long as we try to change what is, we are in war with reality. To learn more about how to surrender to what is, I recommend you read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. It’s the book on The Work I mentioned earlier. I personally love it.
22. Your Story. We all tell ourselves a story about our fear. If I’m afraid that no one will my writing, I tell myself a story (in my head) about how I’ll fail horribly, people will laugh at me, or even worse, no one will read what I have to say. What’s your story?
23. Release Control. We want to learn how to control fear. We want predictability, even though it’s impossible to get. Where we don’t have control, we experience fear. But is it possible to ever have control? Even if you can swim, you can drown. A professional guitar player can still make mistakes and butcher a gig. Give up the illusion of control, and you’re free.
24. Help. Be kind to others. If you’re shy, focus on helping people instead of being self-conscious about how you look or sound when you talk. Flip it on other people and make yourself feel good. This is very similar to #16.
25. Meaning. I believe we all go through things for a reason. That includes the fears we have. It also includes overcoming fear and learning the lessons that come it. This may not be the case 100% of the time, but when I look back at the challenges and fears in my life, I see that more often than not, they delivered exactly the message I needed at that time.
26. Model. I’m not talking about modeling clothes here. I’m talking about finding someone who had the fear you have, but managed to transcend it. Get in touch with them, ask them how they did it, and see if it could work for you.
27. Pray. I’m not religious, but if you are, you may want to consider praying for guidance on how to start overcoming your specific fear. Prayer is very similar to meditation. In the end, it doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as it works for you.
28. WTWTCH. What’s the worst that could happen? If you’re afraid of public speaking, imagine yourself on a stage with everyone laughing at you. How do you feel afterward? You’re still alive, aren’t you? Life goes on.
29. Yoga. Energy can get trapped in your body. When you do Yoga and breathe, that energy can be released. Sometimes you release parts of your fears, or you might even find that you’ve dropped a few fears without even noticing after a few months of Yoga.
30. Ask. Your feelings are there to tell you something, ask what the purpose of them is. Ask your heart, God, the universe, or whatever you feel comfortable with. What are your fears trying to tell you?
31. Understand Failure. When you realize that failure is not the end of the world, you become free. Failure is just a stepping stone to success. And most of our fears are fear of failure, shame, or somehow not living up to the standards society has put up for us.
32. Explore Your Roots. What is the root of your fear? This may require some meditation. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started. If you’re afraid of public failure for example, when did it happen? Where you shamed in public when you were younger?
33. Breathe. Your breath can set you free. It can anchor you in the now and help you vanquish and overcome your most pervasive fears. I saved it for last, because it’s one of the simplest and most powerful ways of overcoming fear.
And Please Remember
Whatever fears you’re facing, remember that the only thing that matters is that you listen to yourself, and your inner GPS.
Here’s a super short video of me sharing one of the most important things I’ve learned in my life:
The Wrap Up
While I think overcoming fear is a learned skill, I also believe that it takes time. If you find yourself rushing, take it easy.
It isn’t necessarily about getting rid of your fears, because resisting your fears only makes them bigger.
You will transcend your fear(s) when the time is right. By reading this article, you’ve already taken the first step, and you’ve put the wheels in motion.
The next step is taking action and using one of the 33 tips above.
Trust your heart and always do what resonates with you.
P.S. Would you be interested in discovering how to follow your heart? Then I invite you to take a look at my book: Follow Your Heart: 21 Days to a Happier, More Fulfilling Life.
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A Prayer for When You’re Overwhelmed by Fear
- Hayley DiMarco
- 2017Nov 14
When I was starting college, I set off for the big city of Portland, Oregon, some four-and-a-half hours from my small hometown. I got a cute little studio apartment in an old 1940s hotel, which was conveniently located two blocks from campus.
Happily, I would walk to school every morning and enjoy my time in the sun, but as soon as the sun was locked up for the night, sadly, so was I.
From my fourth-floor window, I could see the darkness bleeding into the streets and invading the souls of the damned who circled the sidewalk in front of my building. At least that’s how I imagined it.Even if I were completely food and starving to death, I would not leave the building after dark to trek the two blocks to the local grocer. It just didn’t make good safety sense. Remember, the safest risk is the one you don’t take.
Yeah, try walking a mile in my brain and see how you feel in the frightmare that is my life. My deep desire to explore the world and live the dream was overwhelmed by mere darkness—but boy, was it overwhelming.
Two years later, I moved to another apartment that was literally behind the grocery store. I could open up my door and run as quickly as my little legs would carry me, through the parking lot and into the safety of the Safeway.
Isn’t it ironic? It really was called Safeway.
The proximity of this store allowed me to take my first steps of emerging into the darkness. Dracula, when he first realized the moon didn’t burn the sun, I was set free to live after six p.m.
My mind is easily drowned in fear, a fly taking a swim in my lemonade, expecting the drink to be sweet but finding out it is deadly. Even so, I used to rely on my fear to protect me. “Do what it says, and everything will be OK.” In the vein of Dory from Finding Nemo, my chant was, “Just keep fearing. Just keep fearing.”
Fear, though, isn’t a loner. No, fear has a BFF she pals around with, and her name is Worry. In fact, some would say Worry is the one who gets Fear all riled up in the first place, and I can attest to that. Many times in my life, Worry has spoken, and Fear has reacted.
I can say I have successfully worried about thieves, fires, natural disasters, rabid dogs, living alone, dying alone, getting cancer, and being kidnapped, raped, and beaten. I’ve worried about just about everything a girl can worry about and more.
Let’s be honest, though; the only success I had at such an endeavor was giving myself an ulcer.In my search for the cure, I read in a book that my worry was the result of my calling God a liar, and I didn’t that idea. I set about finding out how to trust God rather than doubt Him. To do that, I had to know more about Him.
I assigned myself the task of reading His Word and finding out who this God was whom I should trust. As I read, it all started to make sense. If my mother loved me enough to try so hard to protect me, wouldn’t my God do a much better job? Wouldn’t He, too, want only what was best for me? This idea made a lot of sense, and throughout time it gave me a lot of freedom.
I still have to fight the urge to have my passport always ready and the car full of gas in case I need to make a quick getaway my mom always taught me.
(I know, weird, but safety is no laughing matter!) But I try to remember the true story I read about a mom who left her daughter in the care of Hannah Whitall Smith, who said that all the girl did the entire time the mom was gone was fret and worry about her abandoning her.
“She was too afraid to play, too scared to rest,” said Hannah to the mother. Imagine how grieved the mother was to hear her child doubted her and suffered badly from it.
I don’t want to waste my playtime on worry. I want to enjoy where my Father has put me and trust He hasn’t abandoned me. I want to rest and not fret, to trust and not fear.
A Prayer to Overcome Fear
Lord, You are a good Father. Your love and care is endless. You care more about my wellbeing that even I do, no matter how much I worry over it. And you are all powerful – able to protect me completely and fully from anything that might arise. Lord, I confess I forget these truths. I confess I am prone to believe that I am alone and without any protection.
Lord, I know that this is a lie I tell myself, and it only works me up into worry and fear. I repent of that worry and fear now… ultimately, I know it stems from not trusting in Your goodness toward me. Help me believe and live the truth that you are always close, always protecting me, always watching over every step of my life. Thank you Lord for your great love for me.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
A Short Prayer for When You're Afraid
God, you haven’t given me a spirit of fear. Come and replace my fear with your power and your love so I may have a sound mind to live each day glorifying you. Amen.
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This article is part of our larger Prayers resource meant to inspire and encourage your prayer life when you face uncertain times. Visit our most popular prayers if you are wondering how to pray or what to pray. Remember, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us and God knows your heart even if you can't find the words to pray.
A Daily Morning Prayer
A Prayer for When You're Overwhelmed by Fear
A Prayer for a Broken Heart
A Prayer for Worry
A Prayer for First Thing in the Morning
A Prayer for When You Don't Know What to Do
Hayley DiMarco is the best-selling author of more than 40 books, including her latest release is A Woman Overwhelmed: Finding God in the Messes of Life (Abingdon Press) and its companion Bible study. As the founder of Hungry Planet, DiMarco speaks regularly for women’s groups and events. Hayley, her pastor husband, Michael, and their daughter live outside Nashville.
To learn more about DiMarco, visit her online home www.HayleyDiMarco.com. She can also be found on (hayley.dimarco) and (@hayleydimarco).