Prayer To Let Go – After a Sudden Death
After Their Son’s Death, Parents Help Thousands of Families to Fight Cancer
After their son’s death from leukemia, Chaim and Miri Ehrental created Zichron Menachem to provide essential support to Israeli families affected by cancer.
Chaim and Miri Ehrental’s oldest child Menachem was two years old when he was diagnosed with leukemia. A bright, energetic and happy boy who loved music and spending time with friends, Menachem stayed positive throughout his lengthy illness.
“Menachem battled so bravely,” Chaim told Aish.com. “Despite multiple surgeries, long stays in hospital, including a bone marrow transplant, he held on to his smile, his faith and maintained his spiritual strength which helped him beat back his illness several times over.”
After defying the odds through years of sickness and recovery, he succumbed to his illness the day before Passover in 1990, at age 15. Just two weeks earlier he had told his parents he no longer wished to fight.
“It was profound to see how the soul impacts a person's will to live. It became so clear why when we pray for someone according to the Jewish tradition we pray first for their soul and then for their body. We saw so clearly how a person’s desire to fight is affected by their spiritual state.”
Menachem Ehrental died from leukemia at age 15
Chaim and Miri saw firsthand the impact they had on their son’s ability to fight his illness. “As parents, we realized very early on that we were a mirror for our son. Miri and I cried and felt broken many, many times – but not in front of him. If we went to Menachem looking depressed, he would be depressed, and if we came upbeat, he would pick up too.”
“We always felt we were a team of two. Today, mommy falls, the next day daddy does. We had many hard moments but when we came to see Menachem, we projected our best selves – calm, positivity and a strong sense of emunah, (faith) as hard as his condition was.”
Looking for answers
Menachem’s death left his parents with a void in their lives. “Our home had been full all the time,” Chaim says. “I would often pick up several bags of challah and food for Shabbat on way home on a Friday because a group of yeshiva students had asked to stay over to bring extra happiness to Menachem and the family. It was a very busy home and suddenly it stopped.”
Chaim, a jewelry store owner, was preparing to return to work, but Miri had only just begun working as a graphic designer before she had to care for her son full time. Together they began wondering about the meaning of their experience. They had spent almost their entire married life battling cancer and supporting their son’s resolve.
“Why did God give us this? What was it for? These were the thoughts that would swirl through my mind. And the more I thought, the more I grew sure that during the entire time we had been receiving training for something.” Eventually he put the thought to his wife. “We have so much experience,” he told her. “God has sent us to this school for such a long time.”
A month after this conversation they made the decision to do something, and three months later they held the first event for Zichron Menachem, meaning “in memory of Menachem,” – a relief concert featuring some of their son’s favorite Jewish singers. Tickets were sold out.
At the heart of Zichron Menachem’s philosophy is their own experience as parents, and the knowledge that alleviating the suffering of cancer patients and their families can raise their spirits and help them fight their illness.
Fun activities help children with cancer to maintain a positive outlook
Today, the organization brings hundreds of children each day by bus to its House of Dreams, a fun-filled center brimming with activities.
“There is a lot to be said for simply taking the strain of the illness away as far as possible. Providing exciting things gives children something to look forward to and keeps them excited about life,” Chaim says.
“It’s important to find solutions to the things that bring their spirits down.”
Many cancer sufferers find it very hard to lose their hair through the effects of chemotherapy. In 2011, Zichron Menachem launched its first nationwide hair donation campaign, ensuring every cancer patient in Israel has a wig.A full schedule of events, trips and parties fills Zichron Menachem’s calendar. Teams of volunteers visit the homes of children battling cancer, singing and dancing after Shabbat to create an uplifting atmosphere to start the week.
“When we go to visit someone who is ill, we don’t need to find out every detail about their treatment and how bad they are feeling,” Chaim says. “We can talk about other things that they enjoy and love, ‘What singer do you ?’ ‘What sports do you to watch?’ We shouldn't let a person’s illness start to define a person. The doctor is treating the illness, but we can help take it him.”
A girl at the House of Dreams in Jerusalem
Describing the impact of the organization, one cancer survivor named Racheli said, “It’s running into a God-sent angel, who takes you in his arms, holds you as tight as he can, makes you feel so close together.”
Thinking the box
Zichron Menachem has realized the formidable dream of organizing holidays abroad, giving families something very exciting to look forward to when other families are also enjoying their summer break. Such big thinking also requires some highly creative solutions.
“If you want to take a child with such a serious illness away on vacation,” Chaim says, “you can’t take him too far away from a hospital. If he gets a temperature, it can be life threatening. If we wanted to do this, we would need lifesaving equipment on site.”
The Zichron Menachem portable hospital
Chaim put a plan together for a portable emergency hospital with all of the equipment and machines that a child with cancer could need. “When I told a senior doctor about the idea, he laughed and said it was a fantasy.” Years later Chaim invited him to see the Zichron Menachem portable hospital, the first of its kind. It has accompanied Zichron Menachem all across Europe.
Inside the portable hospital
This summer, 250 children and their families will fly to the UK. Two weeks before they set off, the portable hospital will drive to the port of Haifa, travel by ship to Greece, then wind its way through Europe and across the English Channel, ready for when the group arrives.
Parents also need to look after themselves
Even with a plethora of fun activities, children cannot stay upbeat alone. Chaim and Miri meet with each set of parents, instilling an empowering message that can make a significant difference to how they will cope.
Zichron Menachem offers parents many services to help look after themselves, including a modern spa, massage and healing therapies. This holistic view also extends to the healthy siblings in families with cancer sufferers who Zichron Menachem invites to its centers to make use of its recreational centers and also to receive counselling for those who request it.
Summer holiday to euro Disney in France
“Cancer can hit a family in the middle of their lives,” Chaim says. “Why my child? Why our family? people often ask me. Emunah, faith in God, is understanding that everything that happens to us comes with the stamp of God’s friendship and love, whether we know why or not. Sometimes in life we get these challenges that cause us to get closer to Him, to speak to Him.”
Over the years Zichron Menachem has received donations that have brought Chaim to tears, including from couples who have asked for all the gifts on their wedding day to be given to support the organization.
“God puts some beautiful ideas into people's hearts and we see tremendous kindness,” Chaim says.
“When you receive donations from doctors and nurses, even photographers, drivers and printers who are involved with us in some way, it could be a small donation, but is very powerful to see that it comes from the heart.”
“The Jewish People have shown Zichron Menachem great generosity. Far more than we ask for donations, people reach out to ask if they can help.
” Chaim attributes the special blessing he received early on from the Amshinov Rebbe, Rabbi Yaakov Aryeh Milikowsky, famed for his wisdom and love for his fellow Jew.
“He didn’t know me but I told him our story and that we wanted to open an organization supporting young cancer sufferers and their families. He said 'I will bless you that you won’t need to knock on doors to raise money to do your work.' That blessing is still looking after us.”
Never say I've finished
Chaim and Miri have endless energy. “Our philosophy is to keep asking what needs to be done, learn what we need to know and then try to make it happen.”
His current project is to build a multimedia center training the public how to better communicate with cancer sufferers and their families. “The center will be an open, welcoming place where people can come and better prepare themselves,” he says. “It will cost 1.5 million shekels, which we do not yet have but we are going ahead with the planning anyway, with God’s help.”
Chaim and Miri Ehrental receiving the Israel Prize
It is now 30 years since the birth of Zichron Menachem and the Ehrentals’ mission to forge something good following the loss of their son.
“After Menachem died,” Chaim says, “my wife originally wanted to raise money to write a Torah scroll as a way of elevating his soul. Recently, we looked back and agreed the living, breathing scroll we have been writing for the last 30 years is one which we hope is true to the Torah’s spirit of kindness and love for the Jewish People.”
Marking 30 years of public service, Chaim and Miri were recently awarded The Israel Prize, the country’s highest public accolade for their work of supporting thousands of young cancer sufferers and their families.
Comment on this Article
Prayerforce Org Prayer Blog
I’m a member of a private group. We have come together as a result of our association with Agape International Spiritual Center.
A member our group asked us to pray for a friend of his who is grieving over the sudden death of her boyfriend. I felt called to write a prayer that he could send to his friend, providing he thought it might help her.
Since loss is an ongoing part of life, and since you may be grieving over a loss of your own, or you may know of someone else who is grieving, I offer the healing prayer (posted below) for your use as well.
I have substituted the young man’s name with a blank, although I’m sure no one outside our group would ever know for whom the prayer was written.
If you are going to send this prayer to a friend who is grieving, and if you are going to cut and paste it from this blog post, then please take the time to delete the blanks, fill in the name of the loved one who has died, and match the gender so it matches your friend’s situation.
May we send a ray of light from our hearts to all who are grieving in this moment. We will all know loss in our lifetimes. May we be blessed with friends, family, and even strangers who are sensitive to our needs and help us gather the strength to go on. And may we serve to do the same for others.
“Do not send to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.”
When Sudden Loss Strikes
If you are reeling from a sudden loss, please be gentle with yourself. Do not be afraid of your grief. It needs to be expressed.
While people may feel uncomfortable with the expression of grief, that is not your problem. You need to get it out. Emotion needs move through the body and be released or it can get stuck and leave us grieving for years.
Your concern must be your own emotional well-being, not the comfort of others.
So only spend time with those you trust, people who will not try to fix you or cajole you your grief, but friends who will let you be who and how you need to be.There are rituals for saying, “Goodbye” in private. Do not be afraid to do that. It is not silly. We are eternal beings and the one who has left this earth plane will receive what you are sending out, energetically.
Do not think you are weak if you need to see a grief counselor. Be careful about grief support groups, however, as not everyone attending a support group is necessarily a sensitive listener.
If you are angry at God or angry at the one who has left you so suddenly, honor that. You will need to work through this anger, and you may need the help of a professional who can see, objectively, where you are.
You may need a grief counselor, an EFT practitioner, an energy worker, a spiritual counselor or another type of a therapist.
You may need a series of massages, to help the grief energy move your body. Note that you may find yourself weeping when you are touched. This is normal and natural and healing, so let that be all right.
In all things, follow your heart and intuition to what you need to heal, for your path will be unique to you.
If it feels right, if you feel strongly attracted to a particular type of counselor, a ritual, a support group, a healing modality, or you feel withdrawing to spend a significant time in prayer or meditation, then honor that.
Give yourself what you need to recover. Be kind to yourself. Know that the one you lost is sending you love, hoping you will be okay.There is a bigger picture at work here. And while death seems so terrible to us, it is not terrible to the one who has died.
May you make your peace with death and the transition that we all must make.
And may this prayer be a balm of relief.
Prayer For A Sudden Death
Dear God, Heart of My Heart, Joy of My Joy, Love of My Love,
the depths I cry unto You, O Lord.
Hear my voice.
I am shaken to my core.
If I could roll back the clock and bring ____ back,
Look in his eyes and tell him, once more, how grateful I am
That he was in my life, I would.
Yet, though I might weep at his grave until the end of my days,
He shall not return to me here.
What thought, what words have meaning for me now?
For this is unbearable and I feel broken.
Dear God, is there any sense to his death?
For I cannot believe he was taken from me without purpose.
I do not want to believe he has been deliberately cruel in
his leaving me, for he was never cruel, never unkind.
I know you are Pure Love, so it cannot be that you have
allowed him to leave with no thought of the shock and
pain that would fill me upon his leaving.
Neither can I believe his passing has been whim or chance.
There is purpose in all things, all events.
Yet my pain is so deep. I am so afraid. I feel so lost and so very alone.
Give me courage to express the agony of my grief,
Keep me safe as it flows through me.
Hold me in Your arms as I release it to You.
Make your Presence known to me.
Lift me up so I can feel Your Love;
So I can understand and be comforted by Your Great Goodness.
If there is a purpose and a meaning to my grief,
Open my being to your loving wisdom so I understand what You understand.
If there is a higher purpose for his leaving;
if my beloved’s work here was truly done;
if I can, somehow, become more loving because of this;
if I can, somehow, turn this terrible grief to good,
then make me an instrument of that good.
Help me see a way to go on, for ____,
For his legacy and life,
And for my own.
May this loss
And this pain
Impart sacred meaning
To my life and my purpose.
May I feel this truth:
That there is a Larger Plan
And that I am an integral part of it.
There are other hearts that grieve in this moment, Lord.
Help me send love to them.
Help me connect, in spirit, with them.
If, one day, I can comfort others and help them
make peace with loss and grief, I am willing to be
Your messenger of love.
Please lift me to that place of understanding.
Help me, O Lord.
My heart is in Your Hands.
My life is in Your hands.
My future is in Your hands.
My ability to love is in Your hands.
Comfort me and raise me up.
Open my heart, for it wants to close.
Open my inner eyes, for my eyes are blurred with tears.
Help me draw upon the great love ____ gave me.
Help me understand that, while he is gone from this world, he is not far away.
Help me understand that, in his leaving this plane, he was not leaving me,
But that something pressing called him
And that, no matter how impossible it is to imagine,
That some good great is destined to come this for me
And let ____ know that
I am strong.
I am brave.
I will recover.
I will laugh and live again.
Yet that does not mean I will ever forget him or stop loving him.
I will love him forever and ever throughout eternity.
Let him take the memory of my love with him wherever he must go
And may it bring him unending joy.
And so it is.
Prayerforce.Org: Healing Prayer Since 2003
10 Prayers for the Departed and Dearly Missed
Death and dying are parts of life. While some people fear them, others draw inspiration from death.
As nurses, it’s inevitable for us to see some of our patients die and their families deeply grieve for them. Although we can’t bring back their loved ones, there are still ways for us to provide comfort, strength and guidance to the families our patients left behind.
Here are 10 powerful prayers for the departed.
For the recently deceased
In your hands, O Lord,we humbly entrust our brothers and sisters.In this life you embraced them with your tender love;deliver them now from every evil
and bid them eternal rest.
The old order has passed away:welcome them into paradise,where there will be no sorrow, no weeping or pain,but fullness of peace and joywith your Son and the Holy Spirit
forever and ever.
Prayer for the souls in purgatory
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
Prayer for deceased relatives and friends
Almighty Father, source of forgiveness and salvation, grant that our relatives and friends who have passed from this life may, through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints, come to share your Eternal happiness through Christ our Lord. Amen
Prayers for the deceased for forgiveness and peace and for mourners
Lord Jesus, our Redeemer, You willingly gave Yourself up to death so that all people might be saved and pass from death into a new life. Listen to our prayers; look with love on Your people who mourn and pray for their dead brother/sister.
Lord Jesus, You alone are holy and compassionate; forgive our brother/sister his/her sins.
By dying You opened the gates of life for those who believe in You; do not let Your brother/sister be parted from You, but by Your glorious power give him/her light, joy, and peace in heaven where You live for ever and ever. Amen.
My brother (sister) in faith, I entrust you to God Who created you.May you return to the One Who formed you from the dust of this earth.May Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life.
May Christ Who was crucified for you bring you freedom and peace.May Christ, the Son of God, Who died for you take you into His kingdom.May Christ, the Good Shepherd, give you a place within His flock.May He forgive your sins and keep you among His people.
May you see your Redeemer face to face and enjoy the sight of God forever. Amen.
I commend you, my dear [name] to almighty God, and entrust you to your Creator.May you rest in the arms of the Lord who formed you from the dust of the earth.May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints welcome you now that you have gone forth from this life.
May Christ who was crucified for you, bring you freedom and peace.May Christ who died for you admit you into his garden of paradise.May Christ, the true Shepherd, embrace you as one of his flock.May he forgive all your sins and set you among those he has chosen.
May you see your Redeemer face to face and enjoy the vision of God, forever.
Prayer for unexpected death
Heavenly Father we know and believe that our times are in Your hands, but Lord it’s so often such a shock to us when a dear loved one meets with a sudden or unexpected death – through an accident or perhaps due to some unforeseen tragedy, which takes the life of someone they loved – long before it would be expected.
Lord, we bring before You today those who are having to go through such a tragic loss and pray that You would be very close to each one that is in mourning today over such a loss – and are perhaps confused or even angry that such a devastating occurrence has overtaken them – without any apparent warning.
You are the God of all comfort Who comforts us in time of need and we pray that for those that are facing such a difficult trial today. Uphold them we pray, and ask that You draw very close to them … raise up we pray, the right people to minister to them and to be a genuine comfort and support at this time of tragedy and grief.Lord, we don’t understand why our loved ones should suddenly be removed from us through a sudden, unexpected death – but Lord we trust You to soothe away the hurt in time – for shall not the God of all the earth do right…. In Jesus name, we pray,
Prayer for deceased parents
O God, Who has commanded usto honor our father and mother,have compassion in Thy mercy,on the souls of my father and mother;forgive them their sins,and grant that I may see themin the joy of eternal brightness.
Through Christ our Lord.
Prayer after violent death
Father, we bring before You those that have had the devastating experience of having someone close to them that they know and love, suffer a sudden, violent and needless death. Lord how we grieve for those that are having to experience this right now, and we pray that in Your grace You would look down with pity and mercy and meet them right at their point of need.
Lord, You are the one Who was sent to heal the broken-hearted and comfort those that mourn and are heavy-laden.
You are the One Who promised that Your grace is sufficient for every eventuality – even for those having to face the sudden and violent death of someone close to them.
Draw near to them we pray and lift them up into You arms of love and carry them during this time of suffering and grief for You have promised that underneath are Your everlasting arms.
Lord, as we lift up in prayer those that are having to come to terms with the sudden and violent death of a loved one – we pray that You would use this tragedy to be the thing that starts to draw each suffering soul into the tender arms of their Saviour – the Lord Jesus Christ, in Whose name we pray,
Prayer for a deceased brother, relative or friend
You are, O God,quick to pardon and desire man’s salvation.In Your goodness we ask You to grant our deceased brothers,relatives, and friends everlasting happiness.With the help of Blessed Mary ever Virginand all Your saints,
we ask this through Christ, our Lord.
Prayer to say on the day of a person’s death
O God, Whose property is always to have mercy and to spare, we humbly beseech Thee for the soul of Thy servant N…, which Thou hast this day commanded to depart this world, that Thou wouldst not deliver it into the hands of the enemy, nor forget it unto the end, but wouldst command it to be received by the Holy Angels, and conducted to Paradise, its true country; that as in Thee it hath hoped and believed, it may not suffer the pains of hell, but may take possession of eternal joys.
Through Christ our Lord.
See Also: 10 Inspiring Songs To Help With Grief
Share these beautiful prayers to friends or family who need them.
♥ Connect with NurseBuff on , Pinterest, and !