Prayer Singles Who Are Wanting To Be Married

Why Does God Wait to Answer Prayer?

Why would God wait to answer our prayers?  Wouldn’t we expect that since God is all-powerful that He would answer immediately?  What is the purpose for God’s delaying our prayer requests?

Outside of God’s Will

One reason that God may not answer our prayers or that He waits is that we are asking for the wrong thing.  We may be asking for something that is not in God’s will for our lives and we might be asking for selfish reasons.

  James, the half-brother of Jesus wrote, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures”(James 4:3).

  For example, if we ask for money and we are not already giving to our local church or we have not been helping the poor, why should God give us more money so that we might spend it on ourselves?  Also, we might have the wrong motives in asking for something.

In the  Lord’s Prayer, we are to ask that His will be done on earth just as it is in heaven (Matt 6:10).   We know that God’s will for believers is to grow in grace and knowledge, so we can ask for spiritual understanding of His Word just before we read the Bible.

  There is confidence in praying when we know His will for out lives as it says in I John 5:14-15, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

  And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

We must remember to pray with faith.

Doubt

When we pray, we may have serious doubts about God’s ability or willingness to answer our prayer.

  James 12:6-7 indicates that if we pray in doubt, God will not honor our requests saying, “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”  God may be waiting for us to pray in real faith, in expectation of receiving an answer, or to see if we are serious enough to continue to pray for it.

Sin Stops Prayer From Being Answered

God will not answer the prayer of a believer if they are in a state of perpetual, unrepentant sin (I Pet. 3:12). Psalm 66:18 is clear that “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.

“ If we are obedient, He will hear our prayers (John 15:7) but if we are unforgiving, He will refuse our petitions before His altar (Matt. 18:35).

  Matthew 5:24 is says that when we fail to forgive others, this is cause for a failed request for His help, “leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

Prayer is Answered in God’s Timing

God also expects us to wait patiently on His perfect timing (Psalm 66:18).  In Hebrews 10:36, “For you have need of patience, that, after you have done the will of God, you might receive the promise.

” The minor prophet, Habakkuk speaks for all of us when he grew impatient in waiting for God to answer his request in 1:2, “How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?”  I can most certainly identify with Habakkuk in his sentiments.

  Psalm 37 is a great Psalm to read when you are seeking the desires of your heart with the realization that it may take some time. Read these key verses from Psalm 37 on waiting:

7  “Rest before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not worry when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.“

25  “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.”

34  “Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.”

Sometimes the desires of our heart take time.  They do not happen overnight.  God is most often at work when He appears to be the most silent.

  Even though Daniel had to wait three weeks before his prayer was answered, God had actually answered his prayer that very day that he prayed.

  Daniel had his prayer answered the very same day of his request but it took three weeks for God’s sovereign timing for it to reach him – and it did at exactly the right time, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them”(10:12).

Stories of Waiting For Prayer To Be Answered

Don’t ever give up on praying.  God shows us that persistence pays off in Luke 18:1-8, “Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought.

  And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ “For some time he refused.

But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says.

  And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?  I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly.

However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”  The point of this parable is that if we continue steadfastly in prayer God will honor that persistence.  Never give up on praying because God may be waiting to see if it is important enough to us to continue in prayer, day and night, day after day.

I heard the story of a faithful mother who had been praying for 28 years for her son to come to faith in Christ.  Year after year her son was rebellious.  He abused drugs, was in and jail, and showed no signs of ever knowing Christ.

  The days and years dragged on with absolutely no indication that there was anything different in the man‘s life.  Then one day, 28 years after his mother first prayed for him, this man came to a saving faith in Christ.

  What if this mother had given up?  What if she decided it was not important enough to keep praying each and every day?  What a difference this mother made in her steadfast prayers due to her undying love for her son.   Today her son is making an eternal difference for others in prison.  This was all due to prayer.  Even though she had to wait

Another article you might be interested in:

Does God Answer The Prayers of Unbelievers?

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Why You Should Keep Hoping for Marriage

It wasn’t her words that caught me off guard. It was the way in which she said them. Resigned cheerfulness. “Well, I’m glad I won’t have children,” she said lightly, taking a sip of coffee. “Too many things in the world to worry about.

God knows I couldn’t handle it.”

My single friend’s admission that she had already given up on having children — at age 31 — surprised me.

As we talked more, I realized something: Sometimes it’s easier to embrace an unwanted outcome than to keep hoping for God to fulfill long-held desires.

Around that same time, another single friend told me, “It hurts to keep hoping. Part of me just wants to give up on marriage and get on with making my life as good as possible without a husband.” I think a lot of singles feel this way. What does it matter if I want to be married if that’s never going to happen? I might as well quit torturing myself by hoping for it.

Hope Is Not Lost

I was 30 when I met my husband and 31 when I got married. In retrospect, that doesn’t seem very old to marry. But at the time, it felt as if I had been waiting forever. Some of my friends are in their late 30s and 40s and still unmarried; I can only imagine the temptation to pack up shop and embrace “Plan B” — life without marriage.

Here’s the thing: Giving up on a godly desire (when God hasn’t obviously taken that desire from you) is a form of escapism.

Rather than sitting in the pain of unfulfilled longings — continuing to hope that God will come through for you — you take the less painful route of “choosing” the alternative. It’s a way of taking back control — a defense mechanism of sorts.

And though that illusion of control (who are we kidding here) can be comforting, it shortcuts the joys of giving God complete control of your life.

We were created for hope. Scripture abounds with verses that entreat the believer to be filled with hope (Romans 15:13 is one example). It’s the reason a multi-billion dollar advertising industry exists. What do commercials offer us? Hope. When we quit hoping for a God-given desire, we deny a piece of how God created us and rob Him of the opportunity to glorify himself by meeting our needs.

Psalm 37:4 has become a sort of anthem for singles. It says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” To me, this verse always felt a little a spiritual performance test.

The point is that a relationship with God in which I feel delight in Him leads to godly desires within me, the kind He wants to satisfy.

Voices of Hope

As I asked singles (and those who married after a period of extended singleness) about the benefits of keeping hope alive, answers ranged from, “It simply feels better” to “I don’t want to have regrets later” to “It’s attractive to others.” A few responses stood out to me. Here are their stories:

Alex

Alex struggled with his singleness throughout his 20s, suffering a rocky three-year relationship followed by a broken engagement. After that, Alex says God began reshaping his heart.

“Marriage was no longer something I refused to let go of,” he says. “It was really more of something I was seeking to trust the Lord in.

I never lost the desire to be married; I just had a greater desire to accept what God had for me.”

At 32, Alex met and married Laura. Now with a 1 year old and another baby on the way, Alex is thankful he chose hope. “When we kill our desires, we are really saying that we don’t want to trust God in the day to day. Having a relationship with Him can be much harder than giving up hope because it requires vulnerability and trust … trust that He really can satisfy our deepest longings.”

Jackie

In her early 50s, Jackie has had to wait a lot longer than anticipated for a spouse, but she still hopes for marriage. “I have been tempted to give up on the dream of getting married, especially as the decades tick on, but I hold on to hope because we serve a God who can do anything,” Jackie says. “His Word tells us ‘nothing is impossible’ with God. And I choose to believe it.

“As I’ve seen friend after friend get engaged, say ‘yes’ to the dress, and march down the aisle toward a brand new life, I’ve felt discouraged. But I hold on to the hope that God’s way is perfect, His timing is perfect, and He is totally in control. The One who loves me most, God Almighty, is sovereign, and He will bring it to pass if it’s His best will for me.”

Michelle

Michelle, who is in her early 30s, feels ready for a spouse. “Culturally, I think we tend to go one of two directions: desperation or giving up,” she says. “But God is a God of hope, and to give up on hope just because we can’t see the next step is actually giving up faith.

“If we give up our hope in finding a partner, then we are ly going to quickly give up hope in other areas of our lives. Not losing hope is a spiritual discipline. I’ve also found that as I press on, my view of what marriage is about has developed into a more mature and selfless desire rather than simply not wanting to be alone.”

Ashley

Ashley is a newlywed. “Being single into my 30s seemed one long string of disappointments,” she says. “So holding onto the hope that marriage was still possible and that God would provide a husband did not come easily. What did come easily was cynicism. To protect myself from disappointment, I turned the very real hurt of singleness into a joke or a sarcastic comment.

“But cynicism didn’t help the pain in my heart. And it certainly didn’t make me any more attractive to the guys in my life.

So as I entered my 30s, I made the conscious decision to remain hopeful and to fight for hope even if it meant I would be disappointed or might die still waiting for a spouse.

I knew it wouldn’t always be easy or fun, but my prayer was that God would give me the strength to remain hopeful.”

Choosing Hope

As I entered my 30s without a boyfriend in sight, I also chose hope. It was a daily decision.

I often reminded myself of Romans 5:5, which says, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

” I didn’t have to worry about appearing foolish as I hoped for marriage. Not only that, but I had a close, personal friend to help me: the Holy Spirit.

I have met older single women who are bitter and filled with regret over what might have been. I have also met single women of the same age — Jackie — who are filled with joy, peace and hope.

When I was a 20-something single, I already knew which kind of woman I wanted to be: the hopeful kind. This level of confidence in God’s goodness comes from trusting Him implicitly and giving Him control.

But at times it may feel the painful, all-night wrestling match Jacob had with God for a blessing (Genesis 32:22-32).

Alex points out another advantage to hoping in the midst of disappointment: “The pain of longing for what we desire should only push us to Christ and remind us of the ultimate glory of who He is and what we are promised in Him.”

That’s why hope is worth fighting for. And it’s a beautiful fight.

Copyright 2015 Suzanne Gosselin. All rights reserved.

Источник: //www.boundless.org/adulthood/why-you-should-keep-hoping-for-marriage/

Churches, Give Your Singles Space to Mingle

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Churches, please know that we’re discouraged. We’re frustrated. At times, we face deep emotional pain.

We’re the singles within your congregations who earnestly desire to marry but can’t seem to find a marital match.

You might not be aware of the difficulties and pain we experience in persistent singleness. That’s because we don’t talk about these things openly on Sunday mornings. Expressing deep pain of persistent singleness is reserved only for the closest of confidants. And the worst moments, when tears flow, are often only witnessed by God.

Another reason you might not be aware of these things is because those who occupy positions of church leadership tend to be married. This isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s a natural effect.

The passing of time increases both the lihood that a person will enter church leadership and the lihood that a person will marry.

The natural effect is that church leaders—especially senior leaders—tend to be married.

This can result in married church leaders failing to address the needs of their single congregants—not because of neglect or malice—but because of the natural reality that insulates their awareness from the needs of single congregants.

However, there’s much attentive churches can do to serve their single congregants.

Why Christian Singles Don’t Meet

Many single Christian men and women wonder where all the good Christian bachelors and bachelorettes are. It might seem peculiar that these single groups have a hard time finding each other in spite of wanting to meet so greatly. There is, again, a natural reason.

The typical Christian adult spends most of his or her time in three places: home, work and church. Home offers no opportunity to meet a romantic partner. Work might offer opportunity, as office relationships are known to occur. But many vocations offer little or no opportunity to meet eligible Christian singles.

That leaves church. One might think church would be a place to recommend for a Christian to seek an eligible mate. However, churches, you need to understand two problems with this idea:

The first problem is that it’s easy to exhaust the pool of available singles at one’s home church. This is especially the case if one attends a small church. At one small church I attended years ago, there were no eligible bachelorettes my age at all. Another church I attended later had only one. After getting to know her through church functions, I knew we weren’t a good romantic match.

The second problem is that Sunday morning worship services are terrible places to try to meet other Christian singles.

This is because there’s precious little time for mingling. People tend to arrive minutes before the service starts. Once the service starts, everyone must turn their attention to worshipping, preventing further conversation.

Once the service ends, it may again be only minutes before the congregants, including the singles, leave.

So let’s imagine a person visits a new church in hopes of meeting eligible Christian singles.

If he or she fails to connect with anyone new during those two narrow windows of time, he or she must wait an entire week to try again at a Sunday morning service. This is incredibly costly in terms of time.

Moreover, every week a person spends visiting other churches in hopes of meeting singles is a week that person is absent from his or her home church.

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They provide space for singles to meet and mingle without framing singleness as a bad thing. The possibilities for creating single groups with these characteristics are endless.

Churches can adjust the type or frequency of events depending on what serves the local congregation best.

Scavenger hunts, social dances, game nights, hiking outings, service events… There are many ways to help Christian singles meet, mingle and fellowship when the will and creativity to do so are present.

Interchurch Connections

Another excellent way church leaders in particular can serve their singles is by leveraging their interchurch networks to provide interchurch singles events. Remember that one problem for many Christian singles is exhausting the pool of eligible singles in their home church.

This problem can be alleviated by inviting multiple churches to participate in  interchurch singles events. Instead of singles trying to visit new churches on Sundays in hopes of snagging a conversation with another single, singles from many churches in an area can come together to meet and mingle for a sufficient length of time.

Church leaders can make this happen by coordinating interchurch events with the leaders of other local churches.

Why not invite a dozen area churches to participate in an annual singles charity gala? Invite singles from each church to volunteer to help put the event together. They’ll be happy to get to know each other while they work together.

Charge a modest door fee from attendees and donate it to a good cause. This is just one idea countless as to how churches can work together to help their singles mingle and simultaneously serve their communities.

Let the brainstorming begin!

Churches, the possible ways you can serve your singles by helping them meet and mingle are endless if you have the will and creativity to do so. Offer your singles the opportunity to find romantic connections without requiring them to do so. In this way, you will do them a priceless service. Give your singles space to mingle.

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People who are socially and romantically adept might be able to turn these narrow windows of time into dates, but, then again, people who are socially and romantically adept usually don’t remain single. Churches will need to provide better opportunities for those congregants who aren’t in the upper echelons of social and romantic skill.

Churches can provide better opportunities for their singles to mingle by way of single groups, but only if they’re done right.

There are two errors churches can make in addressing their singles.

The first error is to impress single congregants with the sense that there is something bad or wrong with being single. This notion is unbiblical, but single Christians can feel the impression of this sentiment if church members express the expectation that they participate in efforts to find a mate.

Some Christian singles are perfectly content and happy with singleness. In my personal experience, they’re few and far between, but they do exist. Content singles shouldn’t be expected or urged to find a mate.

Even for a single who wants to marry, being urged to make efforts to find a match can aggravate the already felt displeasure and frustration with singleness.

The second error—which is sometimes made in an effort to avoid the first—is to offer singles no help in finding a match at all. Perhaps the best way churches can help single Christians meet is by providing appropriate opportunities to mingle.

How to Help Christian Singles Mingle

all the Christian singles events I’ve experienced, the best one was provided by a church that was a 30-minute drive from my home. This church provided monthly single events on Saturday evenings, and these events were publicized on the church’s website.

The one I attended began with unstructured recreational time. It was early summer, so I and the other singles enjoyed playing outdoor yard games together. Several of us organized a game of ultimate Frisbee.

From recreation, the event transitioned to dinner, which the church had provided through a local restaurant. I happily ate and talked with several other singles around a table, which provided a chance to get to know them better. Never underestimate the power of shared meals to form relational connection.

After the message, everyone returned to an unstructured time of mingling and talking as the event wound down. That was when I got the phone number of a lovely young woman who was among those with whom I played ultimate Frisbee and ate dinner. Getting her number led to the two of us later meeting for coffee.

The brilliance of this event was that it offered the opportunity for romantic connection between singles without requiring it.

There was enough time for meeting and mingling for romantic connections to solidify. But the event never felt as though its sole purpose was matchmaking. Singles who didn’t want to form romantic connections could have participated in and enjoyed the fellowship without trouble.

Events that offer opportunity for romantic connection without requiring it are the events that serve Christian singles best.

Источник: //churchleaders.com/outreach-missions/outreach-missions-articles/352467-churches-give-your-singles-space-to-mingle.html

Why Get Married? – Is marriage worth the sacrifice? – Marriage

Marriage has been getting a bad rap lately, and it’s entirely unjustified. Decades of studies on human wellbeing provide the same conclusions consistently: By every measure, marriage wins over staying single or living without ceremony with another individual.By every measure, marriage wins over staying single or living without ceremony with another individual.

Married people live longer, stay physically and mentally healthier, are kinder to each other, and are less ly to abuse one another. They experience less physical pain, feel more secure, make more money, retire with more assets, and are more ly to say they are happy with their lives than their cohorts who have stayed formal marriage or been divorced.

Similarly, the children of marriages are healthier, happier, smarter, safer, and contribute more to the rest of society.1

You may find it strange, but living with another individual without the ceremony provides almost none of those advantages. We are homo ritualis, creatures molded by ritual.2

Is Marriage Risky?

Yes, there are risks. Yes, there is commitment. There is no difference between these sacrifices and those we make today to get a solid education, or to retire in comfort.Yes, there are fights, tears and emotional turmoil. Yes, there are sacrifices.

But there is no difference between these sacrifices and those we make today to get a solid education, find a well-paying job, make long-term financial investments and prepare to retire in comfort. No difference, other than that the payoff is so much greater.

As for the risks: as with a home or a car, with proper maintenance and precipitous action those can all be greatly reduced.

Yes, that’s hard work. Everything good is hard work. Good, healthy fun is also hard work. That’s what makes it good—because it’s something you achieved through your persevering, don’t-let-go-don’t-ever-let-go hard work.

So what have we done to marriage? What was wrong with it that we so easily threw it away? Why have so many otherwise intelligent people deliberately attacked and torn apart such a precious institution?

Truthfully, I can only see one cause. Society acts as an organism. When it feels it has lost its viability, it triggers its own demise.

The decline of marriage is the soulless, impotent non-culture of secularism shutting down its mechanisms of reproduction, atomizing into unconnected individuals, preparing the bed of its own extinction.

As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks put it, “Having children and raising them involves enormous sacrifice . . . religious people understand the concept of sacrifice . . . (but) throughout history, people in a secular, consumerist, individualist culture find it much harder to live by sacrifice.”3

To marry is to have faith in life. To believe that there is purpose to humankind, and eternal meaning to your own existence.4

Marriage on a Higher Plane

The truth is that marriage is much more than a commitment to life with another person.Marriage is a choice to live on a higher plane. It is a choice to live life on a higher plane.

Look at the world around you—a plethora of living beings and things, each traveling its own road in its own direction, each fighting for its own survival, seeking its own pleasure and fulfillment, as though the entire universe is about nothing but this small creature.

If you did not know otherwise, you would expect a universal battle between innumerable forces, a cosmic traffic jam, a cacophony that should last less than a moment before all is destroyed in the havoc.

But you know otherwise.

You have been there as the sun veers further south each morning, the trees shed their summertime attire, the squirrels obsess over hoarding nuts and seeds—indeed, as the entire world turns about in majestic harmony.

And then the autumn winds bring the sleep of winter, winter awakes into the glorious eruption of spring, and the creatures of spring somehow all agree to slide gently into the heat of summer.

All about you the cycle of life plays again and again, the elements of planet Earth miraculously fine-tuned to the orbits of sun and moon, as the organisms that grow, scutter, swim and fly upon this earth dance elegantly to that tune.5

What makes this miracle possible? Something most inexplicable. Embedded within a world defined by diversity and change are universal constants, unchanging over time and space. And to their meter, all of life pulsates in harmony.

It could only be with a power that transcends all such terms and definitions, neither being nor not-being, but the Creator of all that is transient and all that is constant, finite and infinite, of all the above. In this dance of life, heaven and earth join to touch G‑d.6

The Choice of Marriage

So our world tells its story at the intersection of two themes, and you choose where you wish to live—as yet another competitive organism fighting to survive, to win in a struggle over many other little lives,You can choose to live in that scattered world of the competing organism, or in the wondrousness of eternity. to avoid pain and to attain pleasure, to gasp a breath of air and then begin its journey to decay, as another spark that erupts to glow for a fleeting moment, only to darken, to fall and to perish into the dust.

Or to choose to dwell in the wondrousness of eternity, to join with another who is not you and dance within that circle of sun and earth, day and night, love and awe, summer, autumn, winter and spring again.

To bring yet more life into this world with the awesome power of the Infinite, as a new little person emerges the nothingness to join your circle-dance, and then another, and yet another, and from them others who will beget yet others.

You have risen to the eternal, “as the days of the heavens upon the earth.”7

At a marriage celebration, the kabbalists say, an infinite light descends into the world in an explosion of unbounded joy. From that light comes the power to create life without end.8

That is why marriage must be sanctified. Because only through that sanctification can this union rise beyond the desires and passions of temporal creatures, to enter into the cosmic eternity.

Marriage at the Center of Being

The mystery of marriage runs yet deeper; it lies on yet a higher plane—not only in the circle, but in the point around which that circle turns, and in the dynamo that turns it.

The marriage of man and woman is a reflection of the cosmic marriage.The marriage of man and woman is a reflection of the cosmic marriage.

As a circle is turned by the dynamic of opposite poles engaged in union by a higher force, so the universe is brought into being by its Creator through the union of opposites.

And a marriage, too, is sustained by the dynamics of those very same opposites.

And who would want such a union of sameness—one that demands that you remain as you are, ever still, so as not to disturb the perfect-fittedness of this other? You are alive. Life is change. Life is forever being “not that”—ever-transcending, escaping that which you were a moment ago.

Rather, marriage is a union with one who is not you. It is in marriage that you learn to step beyond the cramped boundaries of defined being, to discover your true self that can be neither spoken or known—but only touched, deeply, by the other with whom you unite.

Marriage is the union that lies at the center of all life—the union of energy and matter, time and space, body and soul, heaven and earth, the eternal and the temporal, Creator and the created. It is the generator of life, of being, of existence.

In marriage, man and woman play G‑d. Indeed, when we were created, we were created in G‑d’s image, as it says, “In the image of G‑d, the human being was created”—and what is that image? “Male and female He created them.”9

That is the image of G‑d upon this earth: A man and a woman, two selves, two others, ever-becoming one. Nothing can be more transcendent.

Get married. Stay married. Become eternal.

Источник: //www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/361650/jewish/Why-Get-Married.htm

Why Christian Singles Are Marrying Later

Audio Transcript

We’re back with Francis Chan, who is kind enough to join us today and tomorrow. Francis and his wife Lisa are the authors of the new book, “You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity.

” As you know, Francis, men and women are postponing marriage later and later — even among Christians in the church — but they still have the full intent of marriage.

What is this trend doing to the church and what is it doing to the institution of Christian marriage?

The Marriage Bed

I believe that at least 90 percent of those who are postponing marriage are already sleeping together, so they don’t see a big need to rush. There is no sense of “I want to get married to really consummate this.”

I mean, there is so much immorality in the church, and it is disgusting. People need to know that God hates that. Don’t fool yourself by saying, “We are going to get married anyway at some point. We are in love.”

I would respond by saying, “No, you don’t understand. You are a temple of the Holy Spirit. You are a member of Christ and you are joining yourself, basically, to a prostitute. You are entering into a union that God wants nothing to do with.”

I really do believe that premarital sex is the main reason why people are okay to postpone marriage. Sexually people are exploring and messing around and dishonoring God.

It is destroying the church and its members in so many ways because now they feel guilty. They don’t feel they can be used by the Lord. And, honestly, because of their unrepentant heart, their prayers aren’t being answered.

That is probably not the answer you are looking for.

Ignoring the Mission

The other thing is that some of the postponing of marriage is because people are not seeing a lot of marriages they want to become .

Often you see these singles who are radically on fire for the Lord and serving him, and then they get married. Once people get married either they spend all of their days enjoying each other and neglecting the mission, or they start fighting with each other, and they are in counseling all the time and ignoring the mission.

It doesn’t seem really exciting to either idolize your family to the neglect of the mission, or to be in such a desperate state of just trying to get along that you are not really accomplishing anything for the kingdom. That is another reason.

I don’t want to make it all about immorality, although I do believe that we are not doing so well in the area of purity within the church.

Starting a Marriage and a Church

Talk more about marriage on mission and how old were you when you were married?

I was 26 and Lisa was 22. We were both virgins when we got married.

Two or three weeks into the marriage, I looked at her and I said, “I know we have never talked about this, but suddenly I feel God wants me to start a church.

And this would mean, if it is okay, you work and support us, if that is all right. Because I don’t want to take any money from the church. I don’t even know if anyone is going to show up.”

So that is how our marriage started: “Let’s gather some people in the home. Let’s start the church.” Eventually that became Cornerstone Church, and I ended up shepherding there for seventeen years.

Live as Though You Had None

How would you explain this conviction from Scripture?

I would start in 1 Corinthians 7 and explain from Scripture what Paul is saying about how marriage has the potential of distracting us from this undistracted devotion to the Lord. He tells the married couples, “Hey, those who are married, live as though you are not” (see 1 Corinthians 7:29).

What is he talking about there? Why would the apostle Paul who says, “Husbands, love your wives,” also say, “Hey, those who are married should live as though they are not.”

There is also another truth: there is something bigger than you just enjoying each other. The time is short, and that is why he says: “Those who are married, live as though you are not.” You know, it is just there is something bigger than the two of you.

Find other recent and popular Ask Pastor John episodes.

Источник: //www.desiringgod.org/interviews/why-christian-singles-are-marrying-later--2

Bible Gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 7 – New International Version

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7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and wise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am.

But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Concerning Change of Status

17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.

20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.

24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

Concerning the Unmarried

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.

27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.

But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32 I would you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided.

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing.

38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Источник: //www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+7&version=MSG

4 Biblical Truths For Singles Who Desire To Be Married

Dear Single Ladies,

The Lord has put it on my heart to share these truths with you. I hope that it will be an encouragement to you and I hope that together we can renew our minds concerning marriage.

1. You shouldn’t be ashamed to desire marriage.  

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

It can sometimes feel selfish to want to be married, but marriage is a blessing that God wants you to desire. Simply wanting to be in a relationship with physical benefits without the covenant is selfish, that is the way of our culture.

But God’s way raises the bar and calls us to be in true covenant. As we delight in the Lord, we will see his heart in the institution of marriage and truly desire it. In the beginning when God created the world, he said that everything was good except for the fact that Adam was alone.

In today’s culture, when we are alone we try to fill that void with unequally yoked relationships, experiences and even careers, but when God saw that Adam was alone he gave him a wife.

If anyone ever tries to make you feel selfish for wanting marriage, gently remind them that it was God’s idea.

2. Satan wants to destroy your hope for marriage.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”. John 10:10

Satan is very subtle in his method for destroying   your hope of marriage. He uses your friends, family and even church to keep your discouraged.

The first thing that usually happens if a woman even mentions that she desires marriage is that she is quickly redirected and told that she should not think about it and just focus on other things.

Many men who love the Lord are being attacked in their sexuality, careers, identity and finances and are not ready to seriously pursue marriage.

Christian marriages produce Christian children who will spread the truth of God’s kingdom throughout the earth. Satan will do anything he can to stop that.

3. Being single doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Song of Song 4:7 

Deep down women may believe that something is wrong with them and marriage becomes something that they have to earn or deserve.

One Saturday night, I cried out to the Lord because I had just accepted that my singleness was all my fault and that something was wrong with me.

After all, people always asked me why I was still single. People always felt the need to give me advice of what I needed to do if I wanted men to be interested.

That Sunday a woman from my church who I’d rarely spoken to stopped me in the parking lot to tell me that God told her to tell me that “There was nothing wrong with me”. I was amazed that God not only heard my prayer but spoke His answer so powerfully to me.

There are so many educated, accomplished and kind women who love the Lord and are beautiful who are still single. There is nothing wrong with you.

4. If you want it, you should prepare for it.

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt” James 1:6

Single women often disguise their doubt as independence or even spirituality. One moment we say that we are believing God for a husband and the next moment we are saying that we don’t have time for that in our lives or that we are just too focused on God to even consider marriage.

When asking God for something, we must also do our part by preparing for it. We must make up our mind concerning marriage.

True belief is combined with action. Some women say that they are believing God for a husband but they are not preparing themselves to be a wife.

Some of us say that we are believing God for a husband but our spiritual and emotional house is messy because we are not really preparing for him.

Ask yourself if your actions show that you truly believe God will answer your prayers for a husband.

Источник: //theprayingwoman.com/4-biblical-truths-for-singles-who-desire-to-be-married/