Prayer Of A Husband Hurt Through Divorce
Is drug abuse grounds for a Christian divorce?
I decided to follow my heart, experience, and understanding concerning this very difficult topic. There are many scriptures that support a wide variety of answers to this question, but as Christians, I suggest we must consider each scenario separately and spend much time in prayer to best evaluate the divorce question.
The short answer is: it depends.
God’s Intention for Marriage
Since God first instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden over six thousand years ago, I have to believe it is His intention that husband and wife live together until death.
Since God created marriage to be enjoyed by husband and wife, and it is His intention marriage be forever, this provides a sound basis to make every reasonable effort to achieve restoration and forgiveness in marriage before taking steps to dissolve a marriage through divorce.
However, the Bible does say that Moses allowed two reasons acceptable as conditions of divorce.
1. Sexual immorality (adultery)
2. Abandonment (physically leaving)
Adultery Defiles and Corrupts
Jesus taught that adultery defiles and corrupts the one flesh union (Matthew 19). It becomes very difficult to ever trust a spouse once the deception and corruption of the marriage has occurred.
Physical, Mental, Sexual Abuse
I believe God never intended physical, mental, or sexual abuse inside the marriage relationship. I’m sure He is saddened by the sin nature of all man, and His preference is that no man or woman mistreat another. However, to think that God intended a spouse to endure such abuse is not understanding the love of God. God’s judgment will be harsh on any of those who mistreat others.
Drug Abuse Can Defile and Corrupt
Drug abuse and physical and mental abuse in many cases appear to have very similar consequence as adultery.
Many times the family and marriage is in such chaotic disarray from these abuses that restoration is impossible (Having said that, I have seen some marriages restored after adultery, drug abuse, and physical and mental abuse. So it is possible to restore the marriage, but not often).
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Hardness of Heart
Jesus told the Pharisees the reason Moses agreed to divorce for his people was because of hardness of heart. Marriage is a union of two becoming one and should take on the ness of Christ and the Church.
If one partner is abusive toward the other, or to the children, steps must be taken for the protection of all involved.
Certainly, the abusive partner is not fulfilling their purpose of reflecting the image of Christ.
Free Will and God’s Will
God give us ‘free will’ and many people exercise their will against God’s directions and desires for their life. If a person chooses to leave and follow their addiction or mistreat their spouse and family, how can one be expected to expose themselves and family to the chaos that addiction and/or abuse brings.
Jesus Prohibited Divorce, but…
Jesus addressed the issue of divorce with the Pharisees in that he said he prohibits divorce for the many trivial reasons (other than sexual immorality) that were used so frequently in the first century, leading to widespread injustice, especially for women whose husbands suddenly divorced them and married another. Divorced women had to fend for themselves, which made it very hard for them to survive.
Sometimes you just have to move on
Being married to a wife who was previously married to a raging alcoholic, I have to say, “There is life after divorce.” My wife has served the Lord faithfully for many years and was able to rediscover the accepting love of Christ and move on with her life outside the chaos of her first husband’s addiction and abuse.
She stayed trapped in an abusive marriage thinking God would judge her forever. She exposed her daughter and self to physical and mental abuse for years because of a well intended person from her church who told her she must endure the abuse, because it was God’s will that she stay married.
Now, 28 years later, the abuse seems a faint memory from a long ago past.
One last thought
I have counseled thousands of children and wives who have stayed in abusive addictive relationships. Many are still struggling from the devastation caused by abusive fathers and husband. Anxiety and fear have ruled their lives and only after many sessions have they been healed from the abuse of the past.
I conclude that drug abuse may be sufficient grounds for a Christian Divorce.
What do you think? I would love your feedback and opinions.
How To Stop Divorce With Prayers
I’mregularly asked if it’s possible to stop divorce with prayers and my answer hasalways been an emphatic yes. A fewcritical factors combined to get me to this state. That’s what I intend to showyou here.
Ihave seen cases of the divorced come back together again and several other ‘almost-divorced’cases turned around, just by targeted prayers. You can demonstrate and stopdivorce with prayers on your own or through prayer partnership. The best way tostart is to deal with the root cause of all divorces. That is, using targetedprayers to get rid of that spirit of divorce.
Ifyou read that last sentence well, you’ll see I mentioned spirit of divorce. Divorce is a manifestation of a wicked spiritthat initiates and promotes disaffection and division in marriages.
I’m sure you know there are several paths that leadto divorce in marriage. They could be anything from money, careers,friends/families, children, infidelity and many others that come under the broadname of irreconcilable differences. Each of these ‘divorce workers’ representthe activity of one evil spirit or the other. For every physical manifestation,there is a spiritual source.
Thesespirits controls the physical manifestation. But it is written, “when the enemy shall come in a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him” (Isaiah 59:19). This means that it’s Spirit that can handlespirit. This is where prayer comes to play…and win.
How To EngageThe Power Of Targeted Prayer Over Divorce.
Tostop divorce with prayers, you must be the right prayers, or targeted prayers. An example of targeted prayer is in James5:15. It is called the prayer offaith; the only qualified prayer that would save and raise the sick.
Generally,there are two broad principal emotions, which are indeed spirit agents ofdivorce (though they may seem to you physical events or happenings). Thesespirits may have been invited, sent or passed on into any of the couple. Theirtask is to initiate and execute divorce.
1. Utterdissatisfaction, disappointment and disaffection for the spouse. Sometimes theissues responsible for these feelings are known but, most times, they’reaccumulated and vague, nevertheless very strong emotions.
2. Deepromantic interest in some other person. This could be a real person, onlinecontact or fantasy being.
Tostop divorce with prayers, identify the foul spirits within these two groupsand pray them out. Narrow it down to specifics by its name, e.g. spirit of sexaddiction, spirit of pornography or spirit of anger. Search for the word of Godconcerning it in the Bible, that word is your authority and prayer point.Everystubborn problem tending to separate you and your spouse has a name. Call thespirit by that name and fire the prayer shots directly. Do it consistently,regularly and confidently until what you want happens.
Yousee, these foul spirits don’t want to be known, they prefer to operateanonymously or as impostors. Once youidentify them correctly and command by God’s word, they vamoose.
Prayeris a spiritual weapon, divorce is a spiritual issue. This means that prayerwill always have its way in the spirit. Understand this and you would alwayssucceed to stop divorce with prayers. And if the battle in the spiritual iswon, the physical signs will soon fade off.
Time To Stop Divorce With Prayers In Your Marriage.
(Isaiah 8:10; Numbers23:23; Job 22:28)
I command everyassembly, conspiracy and counsel, designed to break my marriage, to fail andcome to nothing.
Every word, enchantment, sorcery and divination against mymarriage is hereby defeated and cannot stand. My marriage with Mr….
shallsurvive every challenge of separation, and then thrive, and flourishexceedingly. The word and the power of God are in my favor because I pray inJesus Name.
(1Corinthians 7:11; Matthew 19:6)
Lord,touch my husband to be reconciled to me, halt the spirit and process of divorce and separation, and frustrate hismoves to marry the strange woman. Use everything and everybody to humble himand teach him to preserve our marriage. This prayer is in Jesus Name.
Get over 70 power prayerpoints to win every battle against your marriage here.
Some people think that divorce can defy prayers. Others want to learn to demonstrate the power and share the testimony.Which side do you belong? Or, are you in none of the sides? What are your thoughts?
We would be blessed to share your challenges, insights and experiences.
What Other Visitors Have Said
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page…
Stop divorce and bring my husband home
A month ago I caught my husband with someone else. He moved out that day and moved in with her. He told me that he didn't love me he loved her and never …
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I will try to make this short. This all started with my wife writing bad checks on me after we got together and was just living together in sin. Right …
I Don't Want That Divorce From My Wife. Not rated yet
Please pray for my wife Ann not to go through with divorcing me as she has filed divorce. I do not want a divorce. Protection for our two children. …
My Husband Said He Never Loved Me! Not rated yet
My husband has cheated on me and walked out on my and the kids, saying he doesn’t love me and never has loved me. He has also stated that he hates the …
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My husband has left our home and is living somewhere that I do not know. I believe he is involved with a woman at his job. I have been praying nonstop …
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I don't know what changes his mind he just rejected me for no reasons. He told me that it is over when I needed him to communicate more with me. …
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My husband is currently insisting on separation. He insists that he is not happy and that he is not loved or appreciated. He says he loves me, but needs …
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This site has aided me so much with my fiancé and now husband. My husband seems to always be mourning his past and searching for his exes or prior …
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My wife and I will be married for 13 years 2016; we both brought children into the marriage. My wife has two daughters that are 30 and 22 years old …
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Hi, my husband has filed for divorce. I have been praying and so far nothing has changed but I think my prayers will be answered. Prayer is powerful. …
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When Your Husband Wants a Divorce – But Won’t Leave
Your husband says he wants the marriage, but he won’t move out. Here are a few steps for wives whose husbands say they want a divorce, but don’t leave.
My first tip for wives whose husbands want to get divorced – but won’t leave the house – is to learn as much as you can about the legalities of separation.
Books Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® : What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, and After Divorce by Jeffrey A.
Landers are priceless – and so is talking to a divorce lawyer in your own city.
In my article about making a life after a divorce, a reader named Jill shared her struggle. Jill’s husband wants to divorce her, but he refuses to leave the house and kids. He wants her to leave – he has nowhere to go, no friends to stay with, and no family to rely on.
She wants to go to counseling and perhaps even save their marriage, but he refuses. Jill doesn’t know what to do – she feels stuck, anxious, isolated, and scared for her kids. Not to mention unloved, betrayed, and confused.
When did her husband stop loving her? Why? He’s not having an affair, he’s not gay, he’s not any different than the man she married 20 years ago.
If you’re in the same boat, you’re not alone.
When Your Husband Wants a Divorce – But Won’t Leave
Getting in-person advice from a divorce attorney or lawyer who specializes in mediation is crucial. Don’t rely on the internet for tips on how to deal when your husband wants a divorce. Every situation is different, and you need to get advice that is specific to you.
Talk to a divorce lawyer
Before you take any drastic steps – such as leaving your home because your husband won’t – talk to an attorney! I’m not a lawyer – my tips are creating a better, happier life. This is not legal advice.
Jill refuses to talk to a divorce lawyer, because she’s scared. Calling a lawyer makes the whole situation more “real”, and will force her to move forward. She’s not ready, even though her husband has repeatedly told her he wants a divorce and that she has to leave the house.
But, part of getting over the pain of an unexpected divorce is taking action – even when it hurts.
Take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health
Jill’s way to cope with her situation is not to eat. She’s not sleeping, either – and she feels exhausted, stressed, sad, and lethargic. Other wives whose husbands want to leave them may turn to food for comfort, pills to zone out, or shopping to escape. While these coping mechanisms may seem they’re helping, they’re doing a great deal of damage in the long run.
If you’re unhealthy, you can’t think clearly. If you can’t think clearly, you won’t make the best decisions for you, your children, and your finances. It’s really difficult to stay healthy when your husband wants a divorce and won’t leave the house – but it’s vital that you take care of yourself.
And, start thinking about how to let go. My most popular article has always been Letting Go of Someone You Love – Freedom From the Past.
Write down everything that happens
What date did your husband first tell you he wants a divorce, but doesn’t want to leave the house? Who have you confided in? When did you call a divorce lawyer? Have you tried marriage counseling – if so, who did you contact? How much money do you have in your joint accounts? What transactions have occurred recently?
The more details you have, the better off you’ll be. You never know when those details – even the seemingly inane ones – will make the difference between making or breaking a custody battle.
Consider making the first move
Jill has been stuck with an unhappy, unmoving husband for five months. Neither of them know what to do: he wants her to leave her home and children, and she wants to save their marriage.
She feels she’s starting to lose her mind, and thinks she’s close to a nervous breakdown. They sleep in the same bed but aren’t intimate. Her husband says he loves her one day, and denies it the next.
She feels he’s driving her crazy.
I think Jill should take her kids and leave her husband – but first she needs to talk to a divorce lawyer! Do not leave the house without talking to an attorney first. The reason I think Jill should make the first move is because her health is deteriorating and she feels she’s losing her mind.
I’m not telling you to take your kids and leave the house. If your husband wants a divorce but won’t leave your home, you need to seek professional, legal advice. But I do think that sometimes you have to make sacrifices to start rebuilding your life and moving on.
You may find Thinking About Divorce? Options for Unhappy Married Couples helpful.
Be prepared to make sacrifices
“When Your Husband Wants a Divorce – But Won’t Leave” image by teresa_lynn via DeviantArt
Why should Jill leave her house? It’s not fair! HE’S the one who wants a divorce. HE’S the one who is ruining their 20-year old marriage. Why should she have to uproot her life and children, just because her husband has suddenly decided he wants the marriage?
The thing is, it’s not about what’s fair, right, or how things “should” be. It’s about knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to just pick up the pieces of your shattered marriage, and move on.
You need to rebuild your life – and it won’t be as neat and clean as your husband suddenly decided that he wants to stay married, or that he should be the one to leave the house because he’s the one who wants a divorce.I think that if a man wants a divorce, he should have the balls to walk away. But some men are too weak, indecisive, stubborn, and selfish to do more than say, “I want to end our marriage – so you have to leave the house.” So, it’s up to Jill to screw up her courage and start moving forward…even if it means making huge sacrifices.
Sometimes you have to take care of your future self – and that means making painful decisions right now.
Start looking ahead – because good things ARE waiting for you!
I know how bleak life seems right now. It’s awful, painful, shameful, embarrassing, and terrible that your husband wants a divorce. It’s a nightmare come true, and you didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t deserve to be treated this.
While you’re going through this, try to give yourself glimpses of a happier, brighter future. Remember that there was something wrong with your marriage or husband – otherwise he wouldn’t want a divorce. Remember that millions of women have survived divorce and are now thriving, happy, and fulfilled. Some wives don’t even realize how unhappy they were, until their husbands left.
If you’re a believer, read How to Survive a Christian Divorce.
What do you think – what would you do if your husband wanted a divorce but won’t leave your home? I welcome your experiences on dealing with divorce, but I can’t offer advice or counseling.
May God’s peace rest on you, and show you the way.
Bible Verses About Divorce: 22 Helpful Scriptures
I always found it interesting that one of the first things God was concerned about after creation was that we were not in life alone. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.
” So in addition to creating the heavens and the earth and all the animals and finally man; God created marriage for the man and the woman. This early picture in the garden shows how much God loves and cares for us. Unfortunately, the fall of man was right around the corner in Genesis 3. Things would never be the same.
One area where we can clearly see the effects of sin is in the marriage relationship. Divorce is very common today even to people that go to church and are believing Christians.
The topic of divorce has many passages that we can look to for answers about when divorce is allowed, what happens when a spouse dies, and even what did Jesus have to say about divorce while he was here on this earth. If you are reading this article you have probably been affected by divorce either by your own personal divorce or by the divorce of someone close to you. Consider these verses…
Bible Quotes Containing Word Divorce
Deuteronomy 22:19 and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife. He may not divorce her all his days.
Deuteronomy 22:29 then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.
Jeremiah 3:1 “If a man divorces his wife and she goes from him and becomes another man’s wife, will he return to her?
Malachi 2:16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Matthew 1:19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
Mark 10:2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
1Corinthians 7:11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
Matthew 5:31 It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’
Scriptures Talking About A “Certificate (or Decree) of Divorce”
Deuteronomy 24:1-3 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her his house, and she departs his house, 2 and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife,
Isaiah. 50:1 Thus says the LORD: “Where is your mother’s certificate of divorce, with which I sent her away? Or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities you were sold, and for your transgressions your mother was sent away.
Jeremiah 3:8 She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore.
Matthew 5:31 It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’
Matthew 19:7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”
Mark 10:4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”
Jesus Explains Why Divorce is Allowed
Matthew 19:8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
Matthew 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Verses Where The Woman is Not To Divorce Because Their Spouse is an Unbeliever
1Corinthians 7:12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
1Corinthians 7:13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
Bible Verses Where A Wife is Freed From Marriage Because of Death
Romans 7:2 For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.
1Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Jesus Talks About When Divorce is Adultery (The same thought repeated by 3 of the Gospel Writers)
Matthew 5:32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Mark 10:11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
The topic of divorce will always be a hotly debated subject. It is sad that such a large percentage of marriages will end in divorce.
Jesus clearly allows for divorce under certain conditions but it is always important to recognize that divorce was never the intention or the will of God for His people. Maybe you are reading today and considering a divorce; if this is the case I would encourage to seek wise counsel.
A great place to find great Biblical advice is from the pastor from a local church that teaches the Bible accurately. Most pastors would love to listen to you and try to help you. Maybe there will be a hope of reconciliation for you and your marriage.
Divorce affects both spouses, any kids that may be involved, and even both families that are involved. My prayer for you this day is for healing for your marriage as you seek the will of God for your life.
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
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as: Bible Quotes, Bible Verses, Decree, Divorce, Remarriage
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