Prayer For Wisdom To Use My Wealth Wisely

Funny Words of Wisdom | Wise phrases and sayings

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.  Reba McEntire

Funny Wisdom: Topics on This Page

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms
Grouch Marx

Will and Guy's Favourite, Best and Hilarious Funny Wisdom

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. If you look your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
3. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
4. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.

5. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
6. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
7. Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

8. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
9. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
10. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

11. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
12. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don't have film.
14. If you dig a hole for someone else, you'll fall into it.

    – Hungarian proverb

15. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
16. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
17. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
18. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

19. You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.
20. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

The Wisdom of An Angel

An angel appears at a meeting of religious leaders and tells their leader that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behaviour, God will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the leader selects infinite wisdom.

'Done!' says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the leader, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.

One of the others whispers, 'Say something.'

The leader sighs and says, 'I should have taken the money.'

Get Rich Now

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Anon.

A Word to the Wise: Some of Will and Guy's Favourite Words of Wisdom

• Patience is the companion of wisdom – Saint Augustine
• Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow – Aristotle
• To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it – Confucius
• He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot.  He that dare not is a slave – Andrew Carnegie
• An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind – Shakyamuni Buddha
• The only way to have a friend is to be one – Ralph Waldo Emerson
• You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist – Indira Gandhi
• You must be the change you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi
• A bowl belongs to whoever needs it – A Native American saying
• Without memory, there is no healing; without forgiveness, there is no future – Desmond Tutu
• Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something – Plato
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder – Anon
• See more motivational thought of the day quotes.

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates.

The great teacher inspires – William A. Ward

Have Your Judicious Words Ready

I doubt there's any marriage where the partners don't quarrel once in a while.

When Roger's daughter was a teenager, she greeted him one morning with, 'I understand you and Mum had some words last night.'

Roger replied, 'Well, I had some all ready, but never got a chance to use them.'

The Funny Wisdoms of Life: Some Are Witty and Some Are Even True

1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

   But not in that order – Brian Pickrell

2. Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it – Author unknown
3. He has a face a Saint – A Saint Bernard – Unknown
4. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer – Douglas Adams
5. The empty vessel makes the greatest sound – William Shakespeare
6. Silence and smile are two powerful words.  Smile is the way to solve many problems and Silence is the way to avoid many problems – Anon
7. Knowledge talks, wisdom listens
8. There cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full – Henry Kissinger
9. He could start a row in an empty house – Sir Alex Ferguson on footballer Dennis Wise
10. I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure – Clarence Darrow
11. He has all the virtues I dis, and none of the vices I admire – Winston Churchill
12. I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure – W.C. Fields
13. In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back – Charlie Brown
14. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone – Reba McEntire
15. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway – Anon
16. Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes called Experience leads us to success
17. A wise man listens to advice – Proverbs 12:15
18. See more funny wise sayings and quotes

To do is to be – DescartesTo be is to do – Voltaire

Do be do be do – Frank Sinatra

A Story Written by a Wise Man

A story for people of all religions and, indeed, none. 

One night a man had a dream. He dreamt he was walking along the beach with the Lord.  Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints on the sand: one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.  When the last scene had flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints and he noticed only one set. 

He also noticed that this happened during the lowest and saddest times of his life. This bothered him and he questioned the Lord.

'Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk all the way with me, but I noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life there was only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you deserted me.'

The Lord replied, 'My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, those were the times when I carried you in my arms.'

Sticking Together: Another Story by an Astute Man

A flock of wild geese had settled to rest on a pond. One of the flock had been captured by a gardener, who had clipped its wings before releasing it. When the geese started to resume their flight, this one tried frantically, but vainly, to lift itself into the air. The others, observing his struggles, flew about in obvious efforts to encourage him; but it was no use.

Thereupon, the entire flock settled back on the pond and waited, even though the urge to go on was strong within them. For several days they waited until the damaged feathers had grown sufficiently to permit the goose to fly.

Meanwhile, the unethical gardener, having been converted by the ethical geese, gladly watched them as they finally rose together and all resumed their long flight.

Story by Albert Schweitzer

Amusing Childhood Perception

Young Mia, only four years old, returned home from Wicor Nursery School complaining, 'Mummy, I've got a stomach ache.'

'That's because your stomach is empty,' Sarah, her mother replied kindly. 'You'll feel better when you have something in it.'

She made Mia a small snack and sure enough, Mia felt better immediately.

Later that afternoon Mia's class tutor dropped by to see Sarah. While she was chatting with Mia's mum, she mentioned she'd had a bad headache all day long.

Mia perked up straightaway and announced to her teacher, 'That's because it's empty. You'd feel better if you had something in it!' 

Witticisms

• Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
• Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
• When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. (Oscar Wilde)
• I stayed up all night playing Texas Hold'em with a deck of tarot cards.  I got a royal flush and five people died.
• It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
• See more Witticisms

The Shrewd Farmer's Donkey

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out a way to get him out.

Finally he decided it was probably impossible and the animal was old and the well was dry anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to try and retrieve the donkey.

  So the farmer asked his neighbours to come over and help him cover up the well. They all grabbed shovels and began to shovel dirt into the well.

As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, to everyone's amazement, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.

Will and Guy consider that the moral of this tale is: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. The trick to getting the well is to shake it off and take a step up.  Through applying wisdom every adversity can be turned into a stepping stone.  The way to get the deepest well is by never giving up but by shaking yourself off and taking a step up.

What happens to you isn't nearly as important as how you react to it.

More Funny Words of Wisdom

• The early worm gets eaten!
• To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
• There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.  Mary Wilson Little
• Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
• See more Words of Wise Wisdom

Amusing Word Play

• Time flies an arrow; fruit flies a banana.
• Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
• When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
• 'Underground' is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters 'und.'
• See more Funny Words

Thoughts to Ponder

Here are an international collection of laws which have never been repealed, and thus are probably still in force.   Our favourite is: 'Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London'.  Will has applied for the post of Constable of the Tower, just so that he can ensure this perk continues.

• Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned in Britain.
• In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
• In Germany it is illegal to wear a mask.
• In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.
• In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.  In Alaska it's illegal to get as drunk as a fish – you cannot win them all.
• See more amusing thoughts to ponder

Funny Perks for the Over 60

• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
• Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today, they called it golf.
• The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.  Friedrich Nietzsche
• See more amusing insights of the Over 60s

Footnote:
Please send us your funny words of wisdom or amusing phrases and sayings.

Источник: //www.funny-jokes.com/virtual/funny_wisdom.htm

50 Prayer for Wisdom

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The bible teaches us that wisdom is more profitable than gold and more precious than jewels. According to Proverbs 3, with wisdom, man can get riches, honour, pleasantness and peace.

Therefore, it is essential for us to continually request for God’s wisdom in other to live a well balanced and successful life.

I pray as you say the prayers below, may you be filled with heavenly wisdom that would make your life right in Jesus’ name.

Awesome Prayer for Wisdom

1. You, Lord, are the giver of all wisdom and an infinite source of sound wisdom. I pray you continually fill me with your wisdom so that I take the right decisions at all times in Jesus’ name.

2. Father, give me the grace to continually fear and revere you so I can have wisdom as the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

3. Help me Lord to continually number my days so my heart will blossom with your wisdom in Jesus name.

4. Father, I pray you give me the wisdom to be humble at all times so that pride will find no place in me in Jesus’ name.

5. Lord, I pray all my endeavours will always be marked by your wisdom so that I succeed in whatsoever I lay my hands upon in Jesus’ name.

6. I pray that I am blessed with heavenly wisdom, the type that would make man marvel at the awesomeness of God in Jesus’ name.

7. Father, give me the wisdom to always remember you are there through the storms, trials and tribulations so I can trust you completely in Jesus’ name.

9. Lord Jesus, in your mercy, flood my life with your wisdom so much that I become an extension of your personality and a representation of your majesty in Jesus’ name.

10. I receive the wisdom to live a life of Christ, a life saturated with peace and sanctity in Jesus’ name.

Spiritual Prayer for Wisdom

11. By the wisdom of God, I stand against the devil and all his agents. I nullify his plans and truncate his agendas over me in Jesus’ name.

12. May the wisdom of God order my steps, lead me through life and guide every decision I take in Jesus’ name.

13. As the day breaks and daylight spreads his wings over the skies, so shall the wisdom of God circulate daily around me and my family in Jesus’ name.

14. Lord Jesus, give me the grace to trust you fully and rely on your guidance and wisdom  even as I live through life in Jesus’ name.

15. God, I desire your divine strength and wisdom to inspire me throughout my existence. May your wisdom never depart from me in Jesus’ name.

16. Thank you, Lord, because I know you will bless me with the wisdom to live a life pleasing and acceptable to you in Jesus’ name.

17. Lord Jesus, bless me with wisdom so I give good counsel to all around me and be a source of blessing to all I come across in Jesus’ name.

19. I will live the wise, live a calm life devoid of violence. I will live peacefully with all men in Jesus’ name.

20. Your wisdom is magnificent and your understanding no one can fathom. I pray you God will bless me with your wisdom and understanding in Jesus’ name.

50 Awesome Inspirational Prayers

Amazing Prayer for Wisdom

21. As a man’s wisdom makes his face shine and the hardness of his face is changed, so Lord will your wisdom make my life beautiful in Jesus’ name.

22. Father, according to your word, give me a mouth and a wisdom which none of my adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict in Jesus’ name.

23. Lord, open the floodgates of Heaven and flood my life with your refreshing and fulfilling wisdom in Jesus name.

24. Equip me Lord with wisdom from your throne so I can fulfil my purpose for creation in Jesus’ name.

25. Lord, give me wisdom after the order of Solomon to live an exceptional and exemplary life in Jesus’ name.

26. May my life continue to reflect the personality of Christ so that I can experience the wisdom that comes with knowing him.

27. Lord, give me exceptional wisdom to prevail in times of trials and tribulations in Jesus’ name.

29. Father, give me the wisdom I need to be an ambassador for you and your kingdom in this world in Jesus’ name.

30. Lord, give me the understanding to delight in your wisdom, the ear of the wise to seek for your knowledge and an intelligent heart to acquire your knowledge in Jesus’ name.

Prayer for Divine Wisdom

31. Lord Jesus, give me the wisdom to know your ways, walk in them and successfully lead others through.

32. The spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of you is what I pray for Lord, enlighten the eyes of my understanding in Jesus’ name.

33. I receive the wisdom to make good choices and take the right decisions in every area of my life in Jesus’ name.

34. Father, give unto me your wisdom so I live an extraordinary life under your guidance and tutelage.

35. Lord, give me the wisdom necessary to guide and comfort those around me appropriately, let me be a spring of refreshing water to all that I meet.

36. I receive the wisdom to prosper in my career and all my life endeavours in Jesus’ name.

37. Father bless me with the wisdom necessary to have a fulfilling marriage and raise children that would be a blessing to this world.

50 Prayer of Encouragement with Bible Verses

39. Lord, in my daily living, give me the wisdom to be outstanding and live above mediocrity in Jesus’ name.

40. Father, I receive wisdom to be a solution provider for my household, my generation and the world at large.

Inspirational Prayer for Wisdom

41. By the wisdom of God, I will victoriously overcome every hurdle, obstacle, setback and pitfalls the world throws at me in Jesus’ name.

42. Lord Jesus, imbue my life with the wisdom to make a success all I set out to do in Jesus’ name.

43. Father, make me wise not in my own conceit, but according to your will so I can know what to do at all times.

44. Father, give me wisdom beyond human comprehension, wisdom that supersedes human knowledge in Jesus’ name.

45. Lord, I need a deep, broad and balanced wisdom beyond human capacity in Jesus’ name.

46. Lord, shed your light upon my soul that I might receive the fullness of your wisdom in Jesus’ name.

47. Lord, quicken my inner man to receive expressly, the wisdom from above in Jesus’ name.

49. Lord, I receive wisdom to be a highflyer in all my endeavours, to soar an eagle and attain heights unimaginable by man.

50. Father, uplift me up by your grace, uphold and sustain me by your wisdom in Jesus’ name.

Written By Olofinko Eniola.

Источник: //lovetextmessages.com.ng/prayer-for-wisdom/

5 Verses to Pray When You Need Wisdom – Counting My Blessings

You’re tired. You’ve done it your way long enough. You’re ready for a change, but how?

Jesus’ brother, James wrote:

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5

If you need wisdom. Ask. That’s it?

But you’re nervous. Is praying for wisdom praying for patience? Will you come up against more tough decisions or opportunities to practice wisdom? Are you afraid you’ll fail agaaaaiiiinnn.

You and I have opportunities to be wise or foolish every day.

And I don’t know about you, but I get tired of learning the hard way. I need advance knowledge to avoid as many wounds as possible.

So, I’m asking God to help me. I’m turning to His Word and prayer, and I’m asking Him to give me upfront wisdom . . . ready for the challenge, up to the test wisdom.

Will you join me?

I’ve found 5 verses we can add to our War Room walls to help us.

5 Bible Verses to Pray When You Need Wisdom

James 1:5–8

 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone.

Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

Father, forgive me. I have divided loyalty. I want to have faith in you alone. I want to trust your truth and wisdom, but voices coax and pull me with half-truths, okay lies really, and I listen. I’m so sorry. I’m tired.

I want Your wisdom. Please help me. Grow my faith. Help me know that You are who You say You are, that You can and will do what You say, and that Jesus is the Way, Truth, and Life. I surrender my life to You, my Lord and my God.

Amen.

Proverbs 2:1–6

My child, listen to what I say and treasure my commands.
Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding.
Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding.

 Search for them as you would for silver,
seek them hidden treasures.
 Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord,
and you will gain knowledge of God.

For the Lord grants wisdom!
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Father, help me to know and obey Your perfect will. Teach me Your truth and bless me with the courage and strength I need to follow it faithfully. I long for insight and understanding . . .

Give me all I need to trust and obey. Amen.

James 3:17

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 

Father, Your wisdom is pure. Pure. Free of additives. It never is wisdom plus something. It is rock solid lasting truth. We’re so foolish. Looking for worldly knowledge to somehow work along-side or replace Your wisdom. Forgive us, Father.

Help me to see through worldly lies. Help me to know and live by Your peace-loving, gentle, humble, servant wisdom. Just saying that makes me realize how different it is from the world’s way that tells us to “take care of number one.” No more.

By Your grace, I will live for Your glory and follow Your wisdom.

Proverbs 8:12, 33–34

I, Wisdom, live together with good judgment.
I know where to discover knowledge and discernment.
Listen to my instruction and be wise. Don’t ignore it.
Joyful are those who listen to me, watching for me
daily at my gates waiting for me outside my home!

Father, I need to make better decisions. I need good judgment that helps me know and follow Your will. Help me set safe boundaries. Keep me from foolishly getting as close as I can to worldly thinking that goes against your Word. I want to know Your will. I want to fulfill Your plans and purposes.

I want to serve You with all I am and all I have. I want to live for Your glory. I want the joy that comes from living for You alone. But Father, I need Your grace. On my own, I can’t. But by Your grace through Jesus, I can anything You have prepared for me. Help me Lord, for Jesus’ sake. Amen.

Ephesians 1:16–18

I have not stopped thanking God for you.

I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

Father, I lift up my loves to You. Protect them. They need wisdom. I love them so much and want them to know the joy of following Your truth and wisdom. Draw them close to You. Grow their faith. Give them a love for Your Word and prayer. Open their hearts and minds to understand Your truth. Help them trust and obey You. Protect them from the world’s lies.

Father, I know You love my loves even more than I do. I know You want what’s best for them. You have plans and purposes for them. I surrender them to your care. Fill them with Your love. Teach them Your truth. Give them Your wisdom. In Jesus message, Amen.

Don’t you just love that God wants us to ask Him for things wisdom?

He wants to bless us with everything we need to live today and face tomorrow.

What is your favorite verse to pray when you need wisdom?

Leave your prayer requests…

and pray for others who have left requests.

I always enjoy hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hi’ and share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Источник: //countingmyblessings.com/verses-to-pray-when-you-need-wisdom/