Prayer For My Husband Who Is Facing A Lot Of Stress
Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes — HelpGuide.org
Stress isn’t always bad. In small doses, it can help you perform under pressure and motivate you to do your best. But when you’re constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price.
If you frequently find yourself feeling frazzled and overwhelmed, it’s time to take action to bring your nervous system back into balance.
You can protect yourself—and improve how you think and feel—by learning how to recognize the signs and symptoms of chronic stress and taking steps to reduce its harmful effects.
What is stress?
Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When you sense danger—whether it’s real or imagined—the body’s defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction or the “stress response.”
The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life—giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid a car accident.
Stress can also help you rise to meet challenges.
It’s what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching TV.
But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, mood, productivity, relationships, and your quality of life.
The effects of chronic stress
Your nervous system isn’t very good at distinguishing between emotional and physical threats.
If you’re super stressed over an argument with a friend, a work deadline, or a mountain of bills, your body can react just as strongly as if you’re facing a true life-or-death situation.
And the more your emergency stress system is activated, the easier it becomes to trigger, making it harder to shut off.If you tend to get stressed out frequently, many of us in today’s demanding world, your body may exist in a heightened state of stress most of the time. And that can lead to serious health problems. Chronic stress disrupts nearly every system in your body.
It can suppress your immune system, upset your digestive and reproductive systems, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, and speed up the aging process.
It can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
Health problems caused or exacerbated by stress include:
- Skin conditions, such as eczema
- Heart disease
- Weight problems
- Reproductive issues
- Thinking and memory problems
Signs and symptoms of stress overload
The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts to feel familiar, even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll. That’s why it’s important to be aware of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress overload.
- Memory problems
- Inability to concentrate
- Poor judgment
- Seeing only the negative
- Anxious or racing thoughts
- Constant worrying
- Depression or general unhappiness
- Anxiety and agitation
- Moodiness, irritability, or anger
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Loneliness and isolation
- Other mental or emotional health problems
- Aches and pains
- Diarrhea or constipation
- Nausea, dizziness
- Chest pain, rapid heart rate
- Loss of sex drive
- Frequent colds or flu
- Eating more or less
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Withdrawing from others
- Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
- Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax
- Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)
Causes of stress
The situations and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors. We usually think of stressors as being negative, such as an exhausting work schedule or a rocky relationship. However, anything that puts high demands on you can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married, buying a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.
Of course, not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be internal or self-generated, when you worry excessively about something that may or may not happen, or have irrational, pessimistic thoughts about life.
Finally, what causes stress depends, at least in part, on your perception of it. Something that’s stressful to you may not faze someone else; they may even enjoy it.
While some of us are terrified of getting up in front of people to perform or speak, for example, others live for the spotlight. Where one person thrives under pressure and performs best in the face of a tight deadline, another will shut down when work demands escalate.
And while you may enjoy helping to care for your elderly parents, your siblings may find the demands of caretaking overwhelming and stressful.
Common external causes of stress include:
- Major life changes
- Work or school
- Relationship difficulties
- Financial problems
- Being too busy
- Children and family
Common internal causes of stress include:
- Inability to accept uncertainty
- Rigid thinking, lack of flexibility
- Negative self-talk
- Unrealistic expectations / perfectionism
- All-or-nothing attitude
What’s stressful for you?
Whatever event or situation is stressing you out, there are ways of coping with the problem and regaining your balance. Some of life’s most common sources of stress include:
Stress at work
While some workplace stress is normal, excessive stress can interfere with your productivity and performance, impact your physical and emotional health, and affect your relationships and home life.
It can even determine the difference between success and failure on the job.
Whatever your ambitions or work demands, there are steps you can take to protect yourself from the damaging effects of stress, improve your job satisfaction, and bolster your well-being in and the workplace.
Job loss and unemployment stress
Losing a job is one of life’s most stressful experiences. It’s normal to feel angry, hurt, or depressed, grieve for all that you’ve lost, or feel anxious about what the future holds.
Job loss and unemployment involves a lot of change all at once, which can rock your sense of purpose and self-esteem.
While the stress can seem overwhelming, there are many steps you can take to come this difficult period stronger, more resilient, and with a renewed sense of purpose.
The demands of caregiving can be overwhelming, especially if you feel that you’re in over your head or have little control over the situation.
If the stress of caregiving is left unchecked, it can take a toll on your health, relationships, and state of mind — eventually leading to burnout.
However, there are plenty of things you can do to rein in the stress of caregiving and regain a sense of balance, joy, and hope in your life.
Grief and loss
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest stressors. Often, the pain and stress of loss can feel overwhelming.
You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness.
While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and move on with your life.
How much stress is too much?
Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people seem to be able to roll with life’s punches, while others tend to crumble in the face of small obstacles or frustrations. Some people even thrive on the excitement of a high-stress lifestyle.
Factors that influence your stress tolerance level include:
Your support network. A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an enormous buffer against stress. When you have people you can count on, life’s pressures don’t seem as overwhelming. On the flip side, the lonelier and more isolated you are, the greater your risk of succumbing to stress.
Your sense of control. If you have confidence in yourself and your ability to influence events and persevere through challenges, it’s easier to take stress in stride. On the other hand, if you believe that you have little control over your life—that you’re at the mercy of your environment and circumstances—stress is more ly to knock you off course.
Your attitude and outlook. The way you look at life and its inevitable challenges makes a huge difference in your ability to handle stress. If you’re generally hopeful and optimistic, you’ll be less vulnerable. Stress-hardy people tend to embrace challenges, have a stronger sense of humor, believe in a higher purpose, and accept change as an inevitable part of life.
Your ability to deal with your emotions. If you don’t know how to calm and soothe yourself when you’re feeling sad, angry, or troubled, you’re more ly to become stressed and agitated. Having the ability to identify and deal appropriately with your emotions can increase your tolerance to stress and help you bounce back from adversity.
Your knowledge and preparation. The more you know about a stressful situation, including how long it will last and what to expect, the easier it is to cope. For example, if you go into surgery with a realistic picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recovery will be less stressful than if you were expecting to bounce back immediately.
Improving your ability to handle stress
Get moving. Upping your activity level is one tactic you can employ right now to help relieve stress and start to feel better.
Regular exercise can lift your mood and serve as a distraction from worries, allowing you to break the cycle of negative thoughts that feed stress.
Rhythmic exercises such as walking, running, swimming, and dancing are particularly effective, especially if you exercise mindfully (focusing your attention on the physical sensations you experience as you move).
Connect to others. The simple act of talking face-to-face with another human can trigger hormones that relieve stress when you’re feeling agitated or insecure.
Even just a brief exchange of kind words or a friendly look from another human being can help calm and soothe your nervous system. So, spend time with people who improve your mood and don’t let your responsibilities keep you from having a social life.If you don’t have any close relationships, or your relationships are the source of your stress, make it a priority to build stronger and more satisfying connections.
Engage your senses. Another fast way to relieve stress is by engaging one or more of your senses—sight, sound, taste, smell, touch, or movement. The key is to find the sensory input that works for you.
Does listening to an uplifting song make you feel calm? Or smelling ground coffee? Or maybe petting an animal works quickly to make you feel centered? Everyone responds to sensory input a little differently, so experiment to find what works best for you.
Learn to relax. You can’t completely eliminate stress from your life, but you can control how much it affects you.
Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the polar opposite of the stress response.
When practiced regularly, these activities can reduce your everyday stress levels and boost feelings of joy and serenity. They also increase your ability to stay calm and collected under pressure.
Eat a healthy diet. The food you eat can improve or worsen your mood and affect your ability to cope with life’s stressors.
Eating a diet full of processed and convenience food, refined carbohydrates, and sugary snacks can worsen symptoms of stress, while a diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, high-quality protein, and omega-3 fatty acids, can help you better cope with life’s ups and downs.
Get your rest. Feeling tired can increase stress by causing you to think irrationally. At the same time, chronic stress can disrupt your sleep. Whether you’re having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep at night, there are plenty of ways to improve your sleep so you feel less stressed and more productive and emotionally balanced.
Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Lawrence Robinson. Last updated: June 2019.
When Your Husband Says He Hates You — She Blossoms
It’s painful to think your husband hates you, and it’s even worse to hear him say the words “I hate you.” I don’t know how you feel, but I can tell you that you are not alone. My readers often tell me that their husbands hate them, or they hate their husbands. Here’s what to do if your husband calls you names and treats you dirt.
In Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, Lundy Bancroft describes nine abusive personality types and how to tell if a hateful husband can change, is changing, or ever will change. Learn what can be fixed when a husband hates his wife, and what can’t. If your husband says he hates you need to learn how to leave your marriage safely.
I don’t know if you need to leave your marriage, or if you and your husband can find the root of the hatred and start to heal it. Either way, learning why your husband is so angry and hostile will help you figure out what step to take next.
When someone you love says they hate you, there are no easy answers or quick fixes. There is only the hope and faith that you don’t have to stay in this relationship. You don’t have to live trapped in a hostile marriage.
You don’t have to be the wife with a husband who tells her every day how much he hates her…unless you allow yourself to dwell in the pit of despair.
Here is a bit of advice from Sherry. Her husband told her all the time how much he hated her, and she left him. She knows how you feel – and she walked from her abusive marriage! “You have only one life to live,” she says.
“Don’t look back one day when you’re old and gray and full of regret. My heart hurts for you because I know how hard it is when your husband says he hates you, but believe me you can feel joy and happiness in your heart again.”
Do you want to spend the only life you have hating your husband and him hating you? Do you want that to be what your children remember from their childhood?
When Your Husband Says He Hates You
Here’s the rest of Sherry’s comment: “Your kids cannot be happy if you’re not happy. Plain and simple – you should leave for your kids’ sake. It won’t be easy at first but I can assure you that with a lot of love and patience, you and your kids will be ok.
I separated from my kids father 13 years ago and my son asked me why his dad was leaving, and not me! I was broken, but today I’m my son’s queen – he loves me and shows it every day! I am a happy woman.
My daughter says she would have loved to grow up with her dad, but understands that we could have never been happy together…”
Even if you don’t have kids, you can’t stay married if your husband hates you! It’s not easy to leave, but you deserve a better life. You owe it to yourself – and your kids – to leave a man who says he hates you.
How Does Your Husband Show His Anger and Hatred?
Here’s what Dee says: “I am 23, and have been married to my husband since I was 15. I started dating him at age 14. Since age 14, I have been physically, verbally and emotionally abused. I have three children with him ages 8, 7, and 6. He is physically and verbally abusive to them also.
He has never been any support for me as I am the only person in the home that works: I pay all of the bills, and come home daily to be verbally abused. I am often called b**ch, wh**e, s**t, and any other name you can think of: I am constantly accused of seeing other men. My husband is a monster and the worst person in the world.
Please help me, with any advice to get this life with him!!!!”
It’s terrible to be stuck in a marriage with a hateful husband, to feel trapped with a man who is filled with rage, bitterness, and condemnation. Husbands who say they hate their wive are spreading their pain, anger, and hatred to the rest of the family. They are destroying their children’s childhoods with their hatred and abuse.
Get in-person help – today
I can’t give you the help or advice you need to heal a broken marriage or cope with a husband who says he hates you.
But, I can encourage you to get in-person help immediately! You can do it; if you found my article on what to do when your husband says he hates you, you can find support helplines and organizations for women.
I searched for “domestic violence helpline”, and got hundreds of results for my area alone. If you want to get away from a husband who hates you, you need to be proactive and reach out for help.
Calling for help is hard – my friend’s husband just left her and the kids, and she can’t bring herself to call a divorce lawyer. He told her six months ago that he wanted a divorce, and she could not bring herself to call for help, even though she knew it was the right thing to do. I describe her situation in When Your Husband Wants a Divorce But Won’t Leave.
I can’t give personal advice or counseling to women whose husbands hate them – or wives who hate their husbands. I can only encourage them to get help in person, not just online.
Find one person you can trust
What to Do When Your Husband Says He Hates You
If my coworker, neighbor, or family member told me that her husband said he hates her, I’d do everything I could to help her get the marriage! If you need help leaving your husband, you need to get in-person support. It’s a good to find online support when you think your husband hates you – or you hate him.
But you need help in person, especially if you’re married to an abusive man.
You need help organizing your children, finances, and a place to live. You need to talk this through with someone — preferably a counselor or social worker who is experienced and can give you good guidance.
One way to start getting in-person help is by talking to your friends, family, and coworkers. I know it can be really difficult to open up to people, but it’s the first step in leaving your husband. Or, at least it’ll help you gain clarity and insight! You may be surprised at how many women have been in the same situation you’re in today, and how helpful they can be.Remember that your kids are listening and learning from you and your husband. Do you want them to be in a marriage this? Show them how strong, courageous, and independent a woman can be.
Keep writing about the steps you’re taking to break free from a husband who hates and controls you. Keep talking to your friends or family members about how he treats you and that you’re thinking of leaving! Those little steps add up to a big journey that will change your life.
Read How to Leave an Abusive Relationship if you know it’s time to start thinking about going.
What is one step you can take to start dealing with the fact that your husband is telling you he hates you? You know you don’t deserve to be treated this. I welcome your comments and stories below, but I can’t offer counseling or advice. Call a domestic violence helpline so you can get specific, personal, individual help.
May you find the strength, courage, and determination you need to take the next step forward. My you find God in the mess, and trust that He will lead you in the right direction. May you reconnect and rebuild your relationship with Jesus, so He can carry you through this season of your life.
Bible Verses About Having Strength During Hard Times
A week or so ago I put together a massive post with well over a hundred bible verses about money and talked about how we need to make sure that we always put God first in our lives before money – and everything else.
We can easily allow money to become our master, and God can quickly move to the background if we’re not careful.
No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. Matthew 6:24
One thing that occurred to me in the midst of listing all those verses, however, is that I never really touched on a topic that seems to be especially important right now in the midst of a double dip recession when so many people are having a hard time. The idea of looking to God for strength in the midst of hard times.
Bible Verses About Strength
Today I decided to bring together some encouraging and challenging verses talking about how and where we need to find strength in the midst of turbulent times. I hope you find them uplifting as well.
Where Do We Find Strength?
Where do we find our strength? In the Lord our God!
Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.
Nehemiah 8:10 Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Exodus 15:2 The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. This is my God, and I will praise him— my father’s God, and I will exalt him!
Psalm 9:9-10 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Psalm 34:10b Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Isaiah 26: 3-4 Those of steadfast mind you keep in peace—because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord God you have an everlasting rock.
1 Chronicles 16:11 Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!
Psalm 32:7-8 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Exodus 33:14 My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.
Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.
Psalm 34:17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles.
Isaiah 30:15 In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.
Don’t Worry Or Fear, Find Your Strength In Him
It can be so easy to give into worry, fear and despair, but with Him we can find strength, and look forward to wonderful things. He gives us hope!
Isaiah 43:1-3 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Luke 12:25-26 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[a]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Philippians 4:6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 27: 1-3 The LORD is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour me,it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;though war break out against me,even then I will be confident.
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Psalm 145: 18-19 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Isaiah 12:2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.
God Gives Us A Spirit Of Strength And Power
Through faith in Christ we are given a spirit of power, love and discipline, and for that reason we have nothing to fear. We can hold onto his promises and be confident that he’ll see us through even the darkest of days.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
Psalm 138:3 When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted.
Psalm 16:8 I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 62:1-2 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Psalm 112: 1, 7-8 Praise the Lord! Happy are those who fear the Lord. They are not afraid of evil tidings; their hearts are firm, secure in the Lord. Their hearts are steady, they will not be afraid.
Psalm 91:1-2 You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust.”
Psalm 112: 1, 7-8 Praise the Lord! Happy are those who fear the Lord. They are not afraid of evil tidings; their hearts are firm, secure in the Lord. Their hearts are steady, they will not be afraid.
Hard Times May Come, But He’s There With Us Through Them All
Though we aren’t promised an easy life, we are told that Christ will be there with us when we believe in Him, that he won’t give us more than we can handle with His help, and even our hard times can be used to glorify God.
2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Philippians 4: 12-13 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation . . . . I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.
Isaiah 40:29 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
1 Peter 5: 10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
Hebrews 4:16 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Deuteronomy 31:6,8 Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.
Strength In Christ Our Lord And Savior
As the verses above illustrate, we’re told to call on Jesus Christ, and that he will hear us and give us strength, hope and a grace sufficient to carry us through. He will be our ever present help when we’re in need, and he can give us a peace that passes all understanding. For me that’s extremely encouraging.
How about you? Do you have any favorite bible verses about strength, and where you can find it? Did one of the verses above stick out more than the others for you? Tell us your thoughts in the comments!
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