Prayer For Loss Of My Spouse

5 Reasons To Pray For Your Spouse

Prayer For Loss Of My Spouse

Prayer is one the deepest ways we show our love – to God, to our family, to the world. From childhood, many of us experience religious tradition through prayer in the Mass and in family prayer time. It is one of the staples of being Christian.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux believed that prayer was looking towards heaven in “recognition and love, embracing both trial and joy.” Prayer is part of living out our faith, as well as deepening our relationship with God.

From a young age, we’re taught what to pray and how to pray – from the “Our Father” and “Hail Mary” to the Rosary. We’re taught to pray through the Mass and general intercessions.

Many of us may even have a mental checklist of people we often pray for – our siblings, parents, and children, and those in our lives who are struggling.

Hopefully many of us are also praying for our parish priest, for our country, our president, and ourselves.

But how many of us, when we kneel down to pray, intentionally pray for our husband or wife?

Reason #1

As spouses, one of our main missions in life is to help each other get to heaven. It’s typical to pray for marriage and spousal relationships, especially during difficult times.

However, in our prayers for marriage and in praying together, we often forget to pray specifically for our spouse.

But in marriage we are called to care for each other – through sickness and in health, for better or worse – and this care includes prayer.

In his letter to the Ephesians, Saint Paul teaches us about spousal love and relationships. Although he is speaking primarily to husbands about loving their wives as they love themselves, the lesson is not exclusive to husbands.

Christ above all taught us to love each other as we love ourselves.  This is one of the primary reasons for prayer. We should be loving our spouses as we love ourselves, says Saint Paul.

As often as we pray for ourselves and our struggles, so too, should we be praying for our spouses.

Reason #2

In marriage, we are called to put our spouse above ourselves – body and soul. Spousal love means willing the spiritual and physical well-being of your spouse. In praying for our spouses, we are putting their spiritual and even physical well-being above our own.

As the Catechism (#2559) points out, genuine prayer is not supposed to be done with a prideful heart, but with a humble and contrite one. However, the act of praying can also be a form of humility, since coming to God with requests reminds us of our humanity.

Reason #3

When we pray for our spouses, we’re reminded that we’re not the only ones in the relationship with individual needs and wants. We’re reminded that there’s another individual with needs and wants, triumphs and disappointments, successes and failures.

How many of us think first about our own lives or the spousal relationship before thinking about our spouse as more than simply our spouse? In living day in and day out with the same person, we often forget to see our spouses as more than just a husband or wife or the mother or father of our children.

Reason #4

Marriage can sometimes be a battle of the wills – his will over hers, her wants over his. How often are the words “I’m right and you’re wrong” thrown into an argument? Prayer, however, center us. In prayer, we begin to seek God’s will and not ours. When we pray with humility for our spouse, we allow God’s plan to work in our lives.

Reason #5

In praying for our spouse, we begin to recognize that this person we’re living our life with is on his or her own path chosen by God. Regardless of our own wants and desires, our spouse has a vocation that must also be fulfilled here on earth. Prayer moves us beyond our own wants and desires, and our own concerns, to that of our spouse.

We may to think of our spouse as Superman or Superwoman, but the reality is that our spouses are only human.  They are susceptible to human weakness.

  Just as we use prayer to overcome our own temptations, we should be praying for our spouse in the same manner. We all have weaknesses and temptations that we need divine assistance with.

We are taught to use prayer as a weapon in the battle against temptation. When we have another person praying for us, prayer becomes that much more effective.

“Again, [amen,] I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Mt 18:19-20)

Ways To Pray For Your Spouse

  1. Pray for each other – out loud.

Pray for something your spouse needs or is struggling with – out loud. It does more than just show support and love. It’s powerful in showing that you’re witnessing their struggles and that they’re not going unnoticed.

When you pray for your spouse out loud, especially when you’re praying together, you’re showing your spouse your faith in God’s ability to ease any burden and even lift it.

Furthermore, it shows great love and devotion for your spouse and for God.

Re-read Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:19-20 (above) again.. When you pray for each other together Jesus is right there with you.

You are both witnessing each other’s faith in God and the willingness to trust in His plan for your marriage. You are witnessing each other’s devotion, humility, and love.

Furthermore, you’re placing God at the center of your marriage, and making Heaven the ultimate pinnacle point.

  1. Ask your spouse what to pray for specifically.

When you ask your spouse what he or she needs you to pray for, you’re vocally assuring your spouse of your love and concern. It shows that you care about your spouse’s individual struggles and needs that are apart from your married life.

Prayer And Intimacy

Prayer has a powerful way of increasing intimacy in the marital relationship. As spouses deepen their relationship with God through prayer, they deepen their relationship with each other.

As we replace pride with humility through prayer, putting our spouse’s concerns over our own, we recognize our own place in the relationship and within God’s plan. Praying for God to lift the burdens of our spouse can do just that.

In can also bring you closer together and closer to Heaven.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.” (James 5:16)

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50 Prayer Prompts that will Inspire Your Writing – Counting My Blessings

Prayer For Loss Of My Spouse

Do you have that blank, what in the world, should I write feeling?

You have a deadline looming and you’re ideas. You’ve prayed and thought and prayed some more but your typically wordy self is at a loss.

Please tell me I’m not alone.

I love writing about the ways God is at work in my life. . . . the way He’s gotten me through past struggles and given me hope for the future.

About everyday faith . . . how my relationship with God through Jesus gives me freedom, joy, patience, and peace and how I love searching the pages of the Bible for truth and wisdom.

Often the words just flow…

But once in a while, they don’t. I feel I’ve written and rewritten the same posts and if I haven’t written it—you have.

I need help and wondered if you do too.

So, I’ve been brainstorming and writing as many ideas as I can think of to help me on those occasions when I’m at a loss for words.

Today’s prompts are on prayer. You can use them for blog post ideas or if you’re not a blogger, use them as topics for your prayer journal. However use them, here are…

Prayer the Who, How, What, When, and Why…

  1. Why is Prayer Important to You?
  2. What Does the Bible Say about Prayer?
  3. If God Knows Everything – Why Should I Pray?
  4. What Does it Mean to “Pray without Ceasing?”
  5. How Fasting has Blessed Your Prayer Life.
  6. Who Taught You to Pray and What Lessons Do You Still Apply Today.

  7. How Having a Prayer Mentor has Blessed You.
  8. How Your Prayers Have Changed as You’ve Gotten Older.
  9. Write about a Time When God Answered Your Prayer.
  10. Share Advice on Why You Keep Praying When God Says No or Wait.

Think of this reporting. Tell your story and let people in on the ways prayer impacts your life.

An example from CMB – How to Put More Life in Your Prayer Life.

“The reality is, my prayers don’t change God.  But, I am convinced prayer changes me.  Praying boldly boots me that stale place of religious habit into authentic connection with God Himself.” – Lysa TerKeurst

10 Things to Pray for…

  1. 10 Things to Pray for Your Children
  2. 10 Things to Pray for Your Spouse
  3. 10 Things to Pray for Your Parents
  4. 10 Things to Pray for Your Pastor and Church Staff
  5. 10 Things to Pray for Your Community

This offers an endless supply of ideas. Pray for your child’s teacher, your friends, your children’s friends, your neighbors, or for someone you know who is doubting, grieving, or struggling with life. Some examples from CMB – 10 Things to Pray for Your Big Crazy Family.

“I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day.” – Abraham Lincoln

Verses to Pray that…

  1. List 5 – 7 Verses that Give You Hope
  2. 5 – 7 Verses to Pray that will Strengthen Your Faith
  3. 5 – 7 Verses to Pray when Your Heart is Broken
  4. 5 – 7 Verses to Pray when You Need to Forgive
  5. 5 – 7 Verses to Pray when Waiting is Hard

Some of my favorite posts are ones that share God’s promises with examples of how I can pray them. Many people talk about “praying Scripture” but it took me a while to understand what that meant or how to actually do it. Reading examples helped me so much. Here’s one from CMB – 5 Verses to Pray When You Need Wisdom. 

Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times. Romans 12:12

Prayer Journal tips…

  1. Why You Keep a Prayer Journal
  2. How to Set Up a Prayer Journal
  3. 10 Prayer Journal Prompts
  4. Prayer Journal Printables
  5. How a Prayer Journal is Helping You Defeat Fear and Worry

I know there have been a lot of posts written about prayer journaling but keeping a journal is personal and intimate . . . so, your tips and prompts may be the perfect thought someone needs to have a faith growing time with the Lord. An example from CMB – 10 Ways to Focus and Make Prayer More Meaningful. 

“Don’t be overwhelmed . . . take it one day and one prayer at a time.” ~ Stormie Omartian

Prayer at Church…

  1. Why Prayer is Important for Your Church
  2. How Small Group Prayer has Blessed You
  3. When Sharing Prayer Requests Becomes Gossip
  4. Why You Should Replace “I’ll Pray for You” with Prayer
  5.  The Importance of Prayer for Church Unity

Our churches, pastors, and ministry staffs need a covering of prayer. Your friends who sit in the pew near you need prayer. Visitors to your church need prayer. The spiritual battle going on around our churches is real and ongoing. AND faith families grounded in prayer are stronger against the battle. An example from CMB – 10 Ways to Love the People at Church When You Don’t Want To.

All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. Acts 2:42

Prayer Favorites…

  1. Favorite Quotes about Prayer
  2. Favorite Books about Prayer
  3. Favorite Verses that Inspire You to Pray
  4. Favorite Verses for Your War Room Wall
  5. Favorite Bloggers who Write about Prayer

Tell people about the things that have helped your prayer life. What books inspired you? Which verses do you keep on your War Room wall? Whose blog posts make you drop to your knees? An example from CMB – Practical Help by Faithful Pray-ers that will Bless You.

“Prayer is the nearest approach to God and the highest enjoyment of Him that we are capable of in this life.” ~William Law

The Best Verses to Pray…

  1. When You’re Afraid
  2. When You’re Heartbroken
  3. When You Don’t Know What to Do
  4. When You’re Alone
  5. When You Need More Faith
  6. When You’re Ill
  7. When You Need Forgiveness
  8. When You Need to Know the Truth
  9. When You Need Hope
  10. When You Want to Worship and Thank God

Do you love digging through Scripture? Do you keep a list of verses to help when life is hard? Keep a list in your prayer journal and share it with a hurting friend. When life gets busy, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, or a friend is hurting . . . having God’s truth exactly what I need.   An example from CMB – How to Pray for Someone Who is Afraid.

But each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing His songs, praying to God who gives me life. Psalm 42:9

Written Prayers…

  1. A Prayer for Your Exhausted Mommy Moments
  2. A Prayer for Your Visit with a Sick Friend
  3. A Prayer for When You Don’t Know What to Pray
  4. A Prayer for the Country
  5. A Prayer to Know and Surrender to God’s Will

I remember the day I called Rev in tears saying, “I don’t know what to pray. I need you to pray with me.” When we don’t know how to put our emotions into prayer it helps when someone else has the words. If you can write the words . . . you may never know how many people you’ll bless when they can’t turn their pain into prayer. An example from CMB – A Prayer for When You Don’t Want to Surrender.

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” – Mother Teresa

50 Prompts Printable
Click on the Graphic for a Printable Version. 

So, tell me . . . did I miss anything? What helps you when you can’t find the right words?

Leave your prayer requests…

and stop to pray one or two of the requests listed.

I LOVE hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hi’ and share your thoughts in the comments below.

And if this article blessed or helped you today — would you share it with someone? Maybe a friend, family member, coworker, or through the links below… ;

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14 Best Comforting Prayers for Loss of a Loved One

Prayer For Loss Of My Spouse

Losing a loved one can bring about a sudden feeling of shock and trouble. Reciting a traditional prayer for comfort can help to bring you consolation and reassurance. Here is a look at some great prayers for loss of a loved one.

Prayer #1

Comfort me with Your love O God Wrap me up in Your strong embrace Shelter me from the storm O Lord

Envelop me in Your tender care

By day I pour out my heartbreak to You
By night I give you my racing thoughts

In You I take refuge In You I will not be afraid

For you hold me strong, You hold me safe

Calm my fearful heart O God
Still my anxious mind O Lord

For all my life is found in You All my being is given to You

All my hope begins in You

Prayer #2

Lord, at the moment nothing seems to be able to help the loss I feel. My heart is broken and my spirit mourns. All I know is that Your grace is sufficient.

This day, this hour Moment by moment I choose to lean on You, For when I am at my weakest Your strength is strongest.

I pour out my grief to You And praise You that on one glorious day When all suffering is extinguished and love has conquered

We shall walk together again.

Prayer #3

Our Father in heaven, may Your Name be honored. There is none greater than You. You are our refuge and strength. You are always ready to help in times of trouble. We praise You, Lord. We lift our hearts with praise.

It is good to sing praises to You, our God; how delightful and how right! Lord, You are great and mighty in power. Your understanding is infinite. We thank You, Father, for the life of our loved one(s) who have gone on to be with You.

Thank You for their time on earth and the impact they had on our lives. We are thankful to You and we bless Your Name.

Prayer #4

Father, You can count the stars and call them all by name. Your power is absolute. Your understanding is beyond comprehension. You support the humble and bring the wicked down into the dust. You comfort those who mourn. We declare that those grieving the death of a loved one; mourning will turn into dancing.

We confess that You are their rock, fortress, and Savior in whom they will find protection. You are their shield, and the strength of their salvation. Father, You are their stronghold. As they call on You, You have promised to answer.

We believe that You will be with them during this period of bereavement, rescue them from grief, honor them, and give them Your salvation.

Prayer #5

Father, we ask You to send Your peace to those persons who are mourning. Continue to surround them with family, friends and loved ones who will offer words of comfort. Give them sweet and restful sleep. Father, remove the spirit of heaviness, and give them garments of praise.

In due time, bless their lives to overflow with laughter and joy again. As they take refuge in You, please help them to put their trust in You. Holy Spirit, we ask that You settle the hearts and minds of those who are feeling any guilt, resentment, bitterness, or anger.

Help them not to look back but to press forward.

Prayer #6

Father, forgive the bereaved for any sins they have committed through thoughts, words, or deeds. Forgive them if they have not meditated on Your Word to find comfort.

Father, forgive them if they have not been totally submissive to Your perfect will for their lives. Forgive them for any hurtful things they may have said or done to the deceased. Lord, help them to forgive the deceased if necessary.

Please remind them of anyone they need to forgive; and help them to forgive quickly.

Prayer #7

Loving Father, I am finding it so hard to even get up bed to start the day, knowing that I have to face it alone and without the one I love so dearly – I know that without Your grace and sufficiency I could never get through the day – but I thank You that You have promised to be with me and to provide me with Your strength for the day as well as bright hope for tomorrow.

I can’t imagine tomorrow being anything but a day filled with pain – as I do not have my loved one beside me, but I ask that in Your grace You will give me the strength to get through today, step by step – knowing that You are there to carry me, even when my heart seems to fail from the grief and pain that I am going through.

Thank You that You have promised to carry our pain and thank You that Your grace is sufficient for every eventuality in our lives. Give me the strength and to cope with the loneliness I feel and help me to move forward in my life-plans, knowing that You are with me, to support and strengthen.

Give me hope for tomorrow – for my hope and my trust is in You, Lord. Hold me close I pray and thank You for always being with me and the great comfort that I have in knowing You, as my own dear Saviour and friend.

Prayer #8

Loving Lord and Heavenly king, I want to lift up some dear friends of mind that are going through much grief at the moment and are finding it so difficult to come to terms with all that has taken place in the last few days…

I humbly ask that You would come to them and provide the comfort they need to come to terms with all that has happened – and the strength to face the reality that things will never be as they were.

Lord I know that their grief seems to be overwhelming them and I am hurting for them, and know not what to do to help – and so I am coming to You to in prayer, to ask that You will meet each of them at their point of need and help them to turn to You at this sad time.

I pray that as the day passes Your healing touch will comfort and succour them in this time of distress and may this be a thing that causes each of them to draw closer to You, knowing that You alone can heal the broken-hearted and bring joy pain.

Thank You Lord for being there for me and into Your hands I place each one of these dear ones who have such sadness in their hearts – I KNOW in Whom I believe and an confident that You will bring good this situation – and to You be all the praise and glory, Amen

Prayer #9

Loving Lord I am filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my precious loved one – and yet that pain is tinged with gold, knowing that they trusted you as their Saviour and that they are now in Your presence.

I know that I am going to miss this precious one, who has been my strength and my joy for so long, and thank You for the precious times we had together.

Often Lord I expect my dear one to just be there, or walk through the door – and then remember that they have gone home to be with You.

At times this is quite hard and yet I know that I must not grieve as those that have not hope in Jesus – but rejoice knowing that the day is coming when we will be together with You and You will wipe away all tears from our eyes – but at the moment my loss is an open wound – and I pray that You will heal my brokenness and the loneliness I feel… and draw me every closer into Your arms of love my Lord and my God.

Thank You for all You are to me and may I rest in You in Jesus name, Amen

Prayer #10

My heart is reaching out to you, For what you’re going through; I’m thinking of you frequently

And praying for you, too.

If there’s something I can do, Anything at all, Think of me thinking of you,

And don’t hesitate to call.

Prayer #11

When someone we love passes away, We ache, but we go on; Our dear departed would want us to heal,

After they are gone.

Grief is a normal way to mend The anguish and pain in our hearts; We need time to remember and time to mourn,

Before the recovery starts.

Let’s draw together to recuperate, As we go through this period of sorrow; Let’s help each other, with tender care

To find a brighter tomorrow.

Prayer #12

If we could bring you back again, For one more hour or day, We’d express all our unspoken love;

We’d have countless things to say.

If we could bring you back again, We’d say we treasured you, And that your presence in our lives

Meant more than we ever knew.

If we could bring you back again, To tell you what we should, You’d know how much we miss you now,

And if we could, we would.

Prayer #13

If there was ever a time in my life I was weak, it was the days, weeks, and months after my daughter died. To know that God’s strength was at it’s best when I needed it the most gave me courage to take another breath.

It seems impossible to “glory in my affirmities” when you don’t feel you have the strength to go on with your life, but God’s grace *is* sufficient. There is power through Christ Jesus to sustain you when nothing else can. You must allow Him to carry the burden – there are things too big for us to handle on our own.

We cannot as mothers (and fathers) get through the loss of a child and retain any sanity without His help.

I don’t think it’s wrong to ask “why” – I have many times over the years.

But you have to recognize God’s authority and know that whatever purpose there was for your child, it was fulfilled during the time you carried him or her.

We don’t understand all of it, and honestly I don’t believe we have the capacity to. But I take comfort knowing that one day, God will hold me close and explain it to me in a way that I can understand.

Prayer #14

Praise God that He is close to those who are suffering. He knows the pain we’re going through and He keeps us from being consumed by it.

I know without a doubt that had it not been for the grace of God, I would have come through my daughter’s death a bitter and downtrodden woman. But through His love and compassion, He saved me from being crushed by the weight of the burden I carried.

My heart still aches for my baby and it’s been seven years since she died – the ache has dulled some with time, but I don’t believe it will ever go away completely.

I still cry at times talking about her, but I rest in the knowledge that God is near and will continue to carry me if I allow Him to. It’s a choice – a conscious decision you have to make. You have to acknowledge that you need help getting through it, and God is the only answer.

About the Author of this Blog Post
Crystal Ayres has served as our editor-in-chief for the last five years. She is a proud veteran, wife and mother. The goal of ConnectUs is to publish compelling content that addresses some of the biggest issues the world faces. If you would to reach out to contact Crystal, then go here to send her a message.

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Loss of a Spouse/Partner

Prayer For Loss Of My Spouse

To live in this world

you must be ableto do three things:to love what is mortal;

to hold it

against your bones knowingyour own life depends on it;and, when the time comes to let it go,

to let it go.

—Mary Oliver from “In Blackwater Woods”

I would love life to be this neat and linear—first you love, then you hold, then you let it go. But living is messy, not neat or linear.

I’ve thought about being able to bargain with God—I certainly know many people who use prayer to get them through what seem to be unfathomable depths. But I have a hard time getting my head around the actor God of my Jewish childhood who had the power to make things happen in response to human behavior.

I prepared for ministry with the Christian God, who at least had a little more time on earth through his son, Jesus.

But the God in the Christian testament is even less personable and no more believable to me.

  And though the God metaphor is my preferred vocabulary for discussing the sacred, my image of the mystery which connects us to one another and to the larger universe is neither personal nor omnipotent.

This makes it kind of hard to know how to invoke the spirit of connectivity and support that I have longed for as I go through the biggest challenge of my life thus far—watching my soul-mate succumb to cognitive dementia over the last six years. She passed away in July, so the years of observing her suffering are behind me, but my needs for connection to the larger universe remain.

How do I find that connection in UU community? Where is the epitome of the sacred in our congregations—be they actual or virtual?

Personal Story

“Do you know who I am?” I asked my soul mate of almost 23 years. She looked at me attentively, which was something, but said no words. “I’m Patti,” I said, “your wife. We’ve been together for 23 years.” This time her response was instantaneous. “You’ve got to be kidding.” Expressive, clear; that was something else. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

My relationship with Janis was the foundation of my adult life. She introduced me to Unitarian Universalism, supported me through seminary, and was certainly my biggest fan.

She modeled self-confidence, and looked forward to being the ‘minister’s wife’ with plans to retire when we were called to a congregation.

It would be a new adventure and hopefully an opportunity to move closer to the east coast part of our families.

Instead, she was diagnosed with a rare form of Parkinson’s disease which attacks cognition instead of movement.

Lewy Body disease moves much more quickly than traditional Parkinson’s, with life expectancy between 5 and 7 years from diagnosis. Janis lived for six.

And almost everything that I was called to do to support her life for that time was antithetical to my skills and experience—far outside of my comfort zone.

I am a good pastor—I know how to offer presence to those who are in crisis, to bridge the isolation of coping with life’s surprises.

But no amount of this training or experience comforted me or bridged my own sense of isolation and disorientation as my world seemed to diminish with Jan’s frontal lobe.

We are blessed with a large network of caring friends and for the last six months of her life there was always someone with her—and therefore, I was never alone. But company and connection are two different things. And my connection weakened as her illness progressed.

As a spiritual director I’m used to asking people to think with their hearts—”where is the sacred in this question, what does your heart tell you about this, have you asked God about this?”

But my heart was buried in a dark cave under water and though I know the sacred is always present, I sure didn’t think it could find me down there. Besides, the one thing I could not afford to do was open my heart in the service of my own spiritual life.

Janis has been gone for two months now. The shock has started to wear off and the grief is starting to flow. The isolation of being tied to home has passed, but the world feels no more real than it did while she was dying.

I’m not sure that my spirit has climbed the underwater cave yet and I’m not sure how to help it—except by waiting. And I’m invited to learn yet another skill set— that of climbing back into a life that is irrevocably changed.

A Prayer

Mary Oliver speaks to me again, when I am feeling so very low, I hear her voice asking me:

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
—from “The Summer Day”

Asking the question, that is my prayer.

A Spiritual Practice

One day I was complaining to my spiritual director that I couldn’t find any time for spiritual practice. She suggested to me that everything I do is a form of prayer.

So I renamed my spiritual practice—spiritual practice on the fly—practicing the intention to stay present, moment by moment, or at least some moments when I stopped to take a breath.

It’s not really what I want, and it doesn’t replace the set-aside time to invite the holy into my being. But when all I have is a few seconds to invite God into my awareness, I do just that. “God, be with me.”

May you find ways to remind yourself that you are connected to the larger universe in the times when you feel it least. May it be so, may it be so, please, may it be so!

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