Prayer For A Teenage Daughter
The secret to helping your daughter get through her teen years
A friend called me about an issue I often get asked about. As a mom of younger girls, she is experiencing what I’m now going through with three of my four daughters.
“My daughter,” she said, hesitant to voice her concern, “has always been so sweet. But lately she’s been different. She gets mad over the smallest things, and I don’t even know what I’ve done.”
Immediately I assured her that her daughter is perfectly normal. I’ve had this conversation with countless moms, and I understand the exasperation as well as the unspoken fear.
In the very season we moms most desire to be close with our daughters, we sense them pulling away. Our once comfortable relationship can feel unsteady or jeopardized. Some days our daughters us … and some days we’re not so sure. At times we feel the enemy as they forget we’re on their side.
Puberty and hormones? They are real and valid things. I’ve lived through enough by now to confirm that you know when the wind shifts. Though the timing was different for each of my daughters, the common thread was heightened moodiness, defensiveness, and irritability. More attitude than normal and a sporadic edge.
My biggest mistake – which took me time to correct – was mirroring my child’s reaction. If she got angry, I did too. If she snapped at me, I snapped back. Eventually I realized how this deepened the wedge. It made my daughters shut down and was, quite frankly, immature of me.
By getting wrapped up in my emotions – and how my child made me feel – I failed to stay calm and provide the emotional support and guidance she needed. I became so sensitive to the pushback or withdrawal that I forgot to consider the inner turmoil that might explain the new behavior.
Now I know this: adolescence (and the transition into it) is hard. It’s a season of constant change, where every day is different. It’s scary for a child when their safe, predictable world gets rocked.At once they’re in the perfect storm of puberty, self-consciousness, self-doubt, comparison to peers, a need to belong, social media, academic pressures, and a flood of changes in their body, moods, friendships, and circumstances.
Here’s the kicker: for the first time in their life, they’re having big thoughts, big feelings, and big emotions. They aren’t sure how to deal with them, and it’s easy to unleash on Mom or anyone who feels safe because their love is unconditional.
A psychologist once told me the part of the brain that interprets emotions is developmentally behind the emotions themselves. To me this was an epiphany. It helped me understand one reason for teenage angst.
Don’t you hate that feeling of being frustrated or upset, yet you can’t pinpoint why? Haven’t you felt the tension of inner friction you can’t explain or wrap your mind around? Even a little clarity offers relief. Even a little discernment – or timely wisdom – can boost your ability to cope.
I can’t speak for boys, since girls are my wheelhouse, but this I know: adolescent girls need emotional coaches. They need adults who love them and can patiently help them develop cultivate a healthy inner life.
As my daughters grow up, they need me more emotionally. I often get it wrong. I might try three wrong approaches before finding one that actually clicks. So if you’re at a loss with your daughter, don’t give up. She needs you, and finding an approach that keeps her talking to you is worth the time and effort.
Some thoughts on being an emotional coach …
Relationship is key
My friend Joelle recently pointed out that teenagers are very relational. As kids grow up, parents move from a position of power to a position of influence. Having a strong relationship gives you a voice in your teenager’s life. It allows you to slowly become a mentor, coach, or counselor, someone they can turn to for advice or support.
As my kids approach the teen years, I prioritize a strong relationship.
I note what doesn’t work (yelling, nagging, criticizing, not hearing them out, disciplining anger) and what does work (apologizing when I overreact, pointing out their strengths, diffusing tension with humor, laughing and having fun, having one-on-one time, showing empathy, listening, disciplining love, and explaining boundaries with logic).
With one daughter I was not on good footing at age 11, and I did some soul-searching to reverse that. I knew I’d lose her to her friends if we didn’t connect better, so I swallowed my pride and looked for ways to reach her heart. Today we get along great, and I’m so glad I made efforts to change.
Speak your daughter’s language to build the relationship
The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers should be required reading for parents. It’s fantastic. It helped me understand all my kids better and offered priceless insights. Discover what speaks loudest to your child (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, or gifts) and makes them feel loved.
I have one daughter who is obsessed with chocolate chip cookies, and after a harsh argument, I brought her home a chocolate chip cookie. That cookie cost me $2, but as I shared on , the value it added to our relationship was priceless.
Adolescence presents a big opportunity to reconnect
Yes, kids pull away, but they also come back – especially when they’re hurt or confused or excited to share good news. Girls live with an ongoing blizzard of thoughts and emotions. They want sounding boards, safe places, and people they can be “real” with to process life and events.
One gift you give your daughter is to be her emotional coach. Teach her to discern what she’s feeling (Maybe you snapped at Anna because you’re still hurt by her comment last week?) and verbalize it.
Girls who never develop emotional intelligence or self-control can wreak havoc in their relationships. They may become bulls in a china shop, taking their feelings out on anyone nearby.The other extreme is girls who channel their emotions internally. They bottle them up, never processing them, and eventually the emotions come out as passive-aggression or self-destructive behavior. This too is unhealthy.
I often tell my daughters you have to know yourself. Pay attention to your moods and triggers. Some days I want to claw somebody’s eyes out, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to do it. We all have to learn to harness, manage, reflect on, and work through our feelings, keeping them in check so we don’t hurt others or ourselves.
Love your daughter and let her vent …
… but don’t be her punching bag. Teenagers push limits, and sometimes we moms take more than we should because we’re scared to lose them. We sympathize with their struggles and let them cross lines.
I think this is a mistake. It’s human nature to push a person as far as you can, and when we let our daughter (or son) treat us a punching bag, we set a bad precedent for future relationships. One day it won’t be us they’re coming home to; it will be their roommate, their spouse, their child.
It’s okay to vent and unload stress, but it’s not okay to disrespect someone in the process. Additionally, teenagers need a healthy respect for authority if they hope to keep a job.
I’ve had to tell all my children: “You can’t talk to me that. I love you, but I won’t let you disrespect me. If you do you’ll lose privileges. Please don’t take your anger out on me. I’m only trying to help.” If I can stay calm, they usually calm down too.
Provide a healthy outlet
The best thing to do with big thoughts, big feelings, and big emotions is channel them into something healthy. Find a therapeutic outlet that brings peace and happiness, art, music, prayer, exercise, spending time in nature, or pursuing a passion.
Encouraging your daughter to journal might also help. Let her pour her heart onto paper to collect her thoughts and express her feelings. Writing things out makes it easier to eventually say them out loud. It gives your daughter a safe place to be honest and transparent.
In her book, Untangled, Lisa Damour says, “You must work with the assumption that every teenager secretly worries that she’s crazy.” I love this, because what I believe comforts girls most is the assurance they aren’t alone.
The very emotions that feel so unique and foreign are actually normal and universal. Talking them out with trustworthy people helps you untangle them. This is true for kids, adolescents, and adults. While none of us ever “master” our emotions, we can learn to control them so they don’t control us.
So if your daughter is new to adolescence or quickly headed there – hang in there. Be patient. Don’t let a rocky start or a hard season scare you off, because your daughter really needs you.
Teenagers are forgiving, and they’re also really fun and smart. They can take a good word and run with it.
A little coaching can go a long way – and so can some soul-searching on your end to find an approach that speaks to your daughter.This article originally appeared on karikampakis.com and is reprinted here with permission.
Kari Kampakis is a mom of four girls, as well as an author, speaker, and blogger from Birmingham, Alabama. Her two books for teen & tween girls, d: Whose Approval Are You Living For? and 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, have been used widely across the country for teen girl studies.
Prayer For Teenage Son or Daughter
Home Devotion Prayer For Teenage Son or Daughter
I would sincerely hope that you don’t need to be sold on the importance of prayer for teenage son or daughter. In case you need that, here’s our pitch.
The teenage years tend to be some of the most difficult years for both parent and child. Parents are beginning to see a side of their child that they may never have thought existed.
The child is beginning to come into their own. For some children, this may be going as expected or at least hoped for. These are tough times, and formative ones at that. We are talking increased hormonal activity, more dangerous forms of peer pressure and so on.
This is the season in which children can be damaged in ways that may be irreparable. Perhaps you are reading this because you are already standing on shaky ground. Our God is a mighty warrior. He is a redeemer!
We are trusting him to direct that which is yet to be directed. May he cause those that are veering the right path to be pulled back onto it. I don’t know whom you are praying for. God’s hand will be seen in this!
Train A Child
Proverbs 22:6New King James Version (NKJV)
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
[a]And when he is old he will not depart from it.
The bible teaches us that if we train our children in the way that they should go, they will not depart from these ways. Perhaps you are in a place where you feel as though you have trained this child, yet they seem to be departing from these ways.
We know that King David, a man whom God described as “after his own heart” raised sons who lost their way. He had sons who went against his will, and one who was the wisest fool to ever live. He would have wondered as you may now be, “Lord where did I go wrong?”
Where I have failed?
Dear Heavenly Father, you said to train a child in the way that they should go. I believe I have done so. Yet I am seeing my child depart from these ways. Lord, where have I failed? I pray that you would redeem my failure with this child. Where I may have failed to get through to them, Lord please train my child for me. Show him/her your says that he/she may not depart from them.
I know other factors may have come into play. My prayer is that you would intervene is set my child back on the right path. In the mighty name of Jesus! Amen
Keep My Child On the Right Path
Dear God, wherever I have done well, and my child is walking on the right path. I pray that you would keep them on that path. Show them the virtue of perseverance. Open their eyes to see the pitfalls of choosing alternative ways. May they not be consumed by their own worldly wisdom. Rather, I pray that my child would seek your wisdom. In Jesus’ name! Amen
1 Peter 1:16New King James Version (NKJV)
16 because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”
We understand from scripture that our righteousness comes from above. That is the righteousness that is not defined by the things of this world. When we take our own righteousness to be the true righteousness, we begin to view unrighteous things as being righteous. This is why our righteousness should be found in Christ, and only through Christ.
6 But we are all an unclean thing,
And all our righteousnesses are [a]filthy rags;We all fade as a leaf,And our iniquities, the wind,
Have taken us away.
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that my child would be holy as you are holy. I pray that my teenage son, my teenage daughter would find righteousness only in Christ. May they never seek it or see it anywhere else. Open their eyes to see the error of their ways. Give them a repentant heart. One that would always come and fall at the feet of the Lord. In Jesus’ name! Amen
Psalm 37:23King James Version (KJV)
23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.
Dear God, as my child finds righteousness in Christ Jesus. I know that the footsteps of the righteous are ordered by you, oh Lord. I pray that you would order my child’s footsteps. Lead him/her on the paths of righteousness. Lead him/her away from paths that lead to pitfalls.
Give my child the strength, boldness and presence of mind to follow your lead at every turn. It is easy to have steps ordered but not walk in them. I pray that my child would not follow his/her own way, but find your way and walk in it, in the mighty name of Jesus! Amen.
A Royal priesthood
1 Peter 2:9New International Version (NIV)
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you darkness into his wonderful light.
Father, I declare that my child is a chosen person, he/she is part of a royal priesthood, a holy nation. My child is God’s special possession. My child will declare the praises of the God who called him/her darkness into his wonderful light.
I pray that this truth would never be lost on him/her. Dear God, may my child never forget this truth! May their walk be one of a chosen one, a royal priesthood and a holy nation. Let everything that my child would do be holy unto you. Even at their lowest point, may their repentance be holy unto you, Lord. Amen
Trappings of Youth
The teenage years can be very treacherous. There are people who thought they would try something once and died as addicts. Potential is often stolen by the enemy at this stage. Our prayer is that God would cover our children from the trappings of youth.
These are often the first moments that our children are beginning to step out into the world without our guidance and protection. Oftentimes it is because they have begun to reject it, starting to think their own wisdom trumps experience. God forbid that your child would be lost.
Dear God I come against the spirit of addiction. I come against the spirit of ill-advised adventure. Father protect my child from the trappings of youth. I refuse that my child would fall to substance abuse. I refuse that the enemy would steal my child through the wrong peers or through sex. Cover him/her oh Lord. In Jesus’ name! Amen
Bring Back Those That have Lost their Way
20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
Lord, You are a God of redemption. May that very nature be my portion in Jesus’ name. Soften my heart to always be open to my child at all turns. Lord, we pray for the children that have already lost their way. Call them back oh Lord. Where our ways, words and our wisdom has fallen short, take over oh Lord.
I pray that my child would never be afraid of falling back into my arms. I come against the spirit of anger and bitterness. Let it never be formed in my heart, that I would fail to open my arms for my child. As in the case of the prodigal son, may my child’s eyes be open to knowing that there is always a place in my heart and in my home.We speak against any hindrance to my child coming back to the Lord and to me. Father, may the mouths of the enemies shut! In Jesus’ name, may your voice be clearer. May your direction be even clearer. Your hand, oh Lord will be seen in this! We give you all the glory already, for you are faithful to watch over your word to perform it.
We stand in anticipation of their return oh Lord! Thank you for bringing back our children. Amen!
I would to take this moment to extend my gratitude to you for taking the time to stand for your teenage son and daughter. It is not the easiest of places to be standing. Yet, there is no better place to be making a stand than in prayer. We commend you for that. If you would our team to stand with you in prayer, please go ahead and send us a request.
If you would to support us in continuing to create great content, please consider becoming Patreon. We have a lot of content on the way this year.
Originally posted 2019-01-29 07:50:41.
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28 Cute & Short Father Daughter Quotes with Images
We now live in a society where fathers are similar to mothers in providing care to their children. That presence and effort is the start of a bond that is very important between a father and a daughter.
Originally posted by pinterest
It is also the reason why fathers are very influential in their daughter’s lives, especially when it comes to self-esteem and decision making. Let your heart be captivated as you go through these cute and short father daughter quotes which will make you love your dad even more.
These heart warming and inspirational father daughter quotes will make you realize how important your dad is and how he has made a big impact in your life as you grow up to be a strong, confident woman. Make sure to not forget about your mama and send her one of these sweet mother daughter quotes