Prayer For A Teenage Daughter

A Prayer for My Daughter

Prayer For A Teenage Daughter

by William Butler Yeats

Once more the storm is howling, and half hidUnder this cradle-hood and coverlidMy child sleeps on. There is no obstacleBut Gregory’s wood and one bare hillWhereby the haystack- and roof-leveling wind.Bred on the Atlantic, can be stayed;And for an hour I have walked and prayed

Because of the great gloom that is in my mind.

I have walked and prayed for this young child an hourAnd heard the sea-wind scream upon the tower,And under the arches of the bridge, and screamIn the elms above the flooded stream;Imagining in excited reverieThat the future years had come,Dancing to a frenzied drum,

the murderous innocence of the sea.

May she be granted beauty and yet notBeauty to make a stranger’s eye distraught,Or hers before a looking-glass, for such,Being made beautiful overmuch,Consider beauty a sufficient end,Lose natural kindness and maybeThe heart-revealing intimacy

That chooses right, and never find a friend.

Helen being chosen found life flat and dullAnd later had much trouble from a fool,While that great Queen, that rose the spray,Being fatherless could have her wayYet chose a bandy-legged smith for man.It’s certain that fine women eatA crazy salad with their meat

Whereby the Horn of Plenty is undone.

In courtesy I’d have her chiefly learned;Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earnedBy those that are not entirely beautiful;Yet many, that have played the foolFor beauty’s very self, has charm made wise,And many a poor man that has roved,Loved and thought himself beloved,

From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes.

May she become a flourishing hidden treeThat all her thoughts may the linnet be,And have no business but dispensing roundTheir magnanimities of sound,Nor but in merriment begin a chase,Nor but in merriment a quarrel.O may she live some green laurel

Rooted in one dear perpetual place.

My mind, because the minds that I have loved,The sort of beauty that I have approved,Prosper but little, has dried up of late,Yet knows that to be choked with hateMay well be of all evil chances chief.If there’s no hatred in a mindAssault and battery of the wind
Can never tear the linnet from the leaf.

An intellectual hatred is the worst,So let her think opinions are accursed.Have I not seen the loveliest woman born the mouth of Plenty’s horn,Because of her opinionated mindBarter that horn and every goodBy quiet natures understood

For an old bellows full of angry wind?

Considering that, all hatred driven hence,The soul recovers radical innocenceAnd learns at last that it is self-delighting,Self-appeasing, self-affrighting,And that its own sweet will is Heaven’s will;She can, though every face should scowlAnd every windy quarter howl

Or every bellows burst, be happy still.

And may her bridegroom bring her to a houseWhere all’s accustomed, ceremonious;For arrogance and hatred are the waresPeddled in the thoroughfares.How but in custom and in ceremonyAre innocence and beauty born?Ceremony’s a name for the rich horn,

And custom for the spreading laurel tree.

Literary Analysis

“A Prayer for My Daughter” is a reflection of the poet’s love for his daughter. It is also about surviving the turmoil of the contemporary world, where passions have been separated from reason. The setting of the poem is unspecified. The speaker is the poet himself talking to his daughter. The tone is gloomy, precarious, and frightening, as well as didactic.

The poem opens with a description of the speaker praying for his innocent infant daughter, Anne, lying in the middle of a storm “howling, and half hid.” The poet demonstrates his feelings through the use of symbols of weather.

The newborn baby girl is sleeping “Under this cradle-hood and coverlid,” implying the innocence and vulnerability of Anne. Though the external world is violent, she is protected from it.

The storm is a metaphor for the Irish people’s struggle for their independence, which was an uncertain political situation in Yeats’s day. He further presents the situation of the storm with “roof-leveling wind”, representing turbulence, in the midst of which the poet has “walked and prayed for this young child an hour.

” Intense and threatening forces surround her a “flooded stream.” The poet symbolizes the sea thus: “ the murderous innocence of the sea.” Despite his apprehensions for his child in this turbulent world, he is hopeful for her.

The poet continues on to comment on his hopes for her beauty:“May she be granted beauty and yet not.” His vacillation is that beauty in women sometimes brings disasters. For example, some such people have a difficult time choosing the right person as a life partner, and neither they can “find a friend.

” The speaker lays emphasis on the need for feminine innocence. The poet advances his argument in the next stanzas by citing examples of beautiful women such as Helen of Troy, whose beauty was said to be the cause of the Trojan War.

By the end, the poet wants his daughter to be courteous, as love cannot come unconditionally and freely. She must earn love with good efforts and kind-heartedness, and she cannot win it by merely physical beauty because “Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earned.

” Summing up his theme, the poet wishes his daughter to possess such qualities that could help her face the future years confidently and independently.

Structural Analysis

The poem is written in a lyric form containing ten stanzas with eight lines in each stanza. The poem follows a regular rhyme scheme, which is AABBCDDC as shown below:

I have walked and prayed for this young child an hour  A
And heard the sea-wind scream upon the tower,          A
And-under the arches of the bridge, and scream          B
In the elms above the flooded stream;                         B
Imagining in excited reverie                                        C
That the future years had come,                                  D
Dancing to a frenzied drum,                                        D
the murderous innocence of the sea.                C

The meter of this poem alternates between iambic pentameter and trochaic pentameter, as inI have walked and prayed for this young child an hour / And heard the sea-wind scream upon the tower.” The poem is rich in literary devices such as symbolism, personification, paradox, sibilance, assonance, alliteration, and onomatopoeia. The line “murderous innocence of the sea” is an example of paradox. Sibilance is found in the words “sea-wind scream,” while “scream” is also an example of an onomatopoeia. The use of personification can be noted in the lines “future years … dancing”, which implies the transience of life. The poet uses symbols such as “sea wind” and “flooded stream” which denote turbulent forces at work. Alliteration is present in the phrase “be granted beauty.”

Guidance for Usage of Quotes

The poem is concerned with the chaotic modern world. It shows a father consumed with apprehension for his daughter’s future in an uncertain political situation.

The father is tense about how he can possibly protect his daughter from the raging storm outside, because she is very beautiful. Therefore, he prays for her as well as gives advice about how to live successfully on earth.

Similarly, modern-day fathers can send quotes from this poem to their daughters as a piece of advice for special occasions:

“In courtesy I’d have her chiefly learned;Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earnedBy those that are not entirely beautiful;Yet many, that have played the foolFor beauty’s very self, has charm made wise,And many a poor man that has roved,Loved and thought himself beloved,

From a glad kindness cannot take his eyes.”

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The secret to helping your daughter get through her teen years

Prayer For A Teenage Daughter
A friend called me about an issue I often get asked about. As a mom of younger girls, she is experiencing what I’m now going through with three of my four daughters.

“My daughter,” she said, hesitant to voice her concern, “has always been so sweet. But lately she’s been different. She gets mad over the smallest things, and I don’t even know what I’ve done.”

Immediately I assured her that her daughter is perfectly normal. I’ve had this conversation with countless moms, and I understand the exasperation as well as the unspoken fear.

In the very season we moms most desire to be close with our daughters, we sense them pulling away. Our once comfortable relationship can feel unsteady or jeopardized. Some days our daughters us … and some days we’re not so sure. At times we feel the enemy as they forget we’re on their side.

Puberty and hormones? They are real and valid things. I’ve lived through enough by now to confirm that you know when the wind shifts. Though the timing was different for each of my daughters, the common thread was heightened moodiness, defensiveness, and irritability. More attitude than normal and a sporadic edge.

My biggest mistake – which took me time to correct – was mirroring my child’s reaction. If she got angry, I did too. If she snapped at me, I snapped back. Eventually I realized how this deepened the wedge. It made my daughters shut down and was, quite frankly, immature of me.

By getting wrapped up in my emotions – and how my child made me feel – I failed to stay calm and provide the emotional support and guidance she needed. I became so sensitive to the pushback or withdrawal that I forgot to consider the inner turmoil that might explain the new behavior.

Now I know this: adolescence (and the transition into it) is hard. It’s a season of constant change, where every day is different. It’s scary for a child when their safe, predictable world gets rocked.

At once they’re in the perfect storm of puberty, self-consciousness, self-doubt, comparison to peers, a need to belong, social media, academic pressures, and a flood of changes in their body, moods, friendships, and circumstances.

Here’s the kicker: for the first time in their life, they’re having big thoughts, big feelings, and big emotions. They aren’t sure how to deal with them, and it’s easy to unleash on Mom or anyone who feels safe because their love is unconditional.

A psychologist once told me the part of the brain that interprets emotions is developmentally behind the emotions themselves. To me this was an epiphany. It helped me understand one reason for teenage angst.

Don’t you hate that feeling of being frustrated or upset, yet you can’t pinpoint why? Haven’t you felt the tension of inner friction you can’t explain or wrap your mind around? Even a little clarity offers relief. Even a little discernment – or timely wisdom – can boost your ability to cope.

I can’t speak for boys, since girls are my wheelhouse, but this I know: adolescent girls need emotional coaches. They need adults who love them and can patiently help them develop cultivate a healthy inner life.

As my daughters grow up, they need me more emotionally. I often get it wrong. I might try three wrong approaches before finding one that actually clicks. So if you’re at a loss with your daughter, don’t give up. She needs you, and finding an approach that keeps her talking to you is worth the time and effort.

Some thoughts on being an emotional coach …

Relationship is key

My friend Joelle recently pointed out that teenagers are very relational. As kids grow up, parents move from a position of power to a position of influence. Having a strong relationship gives you a voice in your teenager’s life. It allows you to slowly become a mentor, coach, or counselor, someone they can turn to for advice or support.

As my kids approach the teen years, I prioritize a strong relationship.

I note what doesn’t work (yelling, nagging, criticizing, not hearing them out, disciplining anger) and what does work (apologizing when I overreact, pointing out their strengths, diffusing tension with humor, laughing and having fun, having one-on-one time, showing empathy, listening, disciplining love, and explaining boundaries with logic).

With one daughter I was not on good footing at age 11, and I did some soul-searching to reverse that. I knew I’d lose her to her friends if we didn’t connect better, so I swallowed my pride and looked for ways to reach her heart. Today we get along great, and I’m so glad I made efforts to change.

Speak your daughter’s language to build the relationship

The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers should be required reading for parents. It’s fantastic. It helped me understand all my kids better and offered priceless insights. Discover what speaks loudest to your child (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, or gifts) and makes them feel loved.

I have one daughter who is obsessed with chocolate chip cookies, and after a harsh argument, I brought her home a chocolate chip cookie. That cookie cost me $2, but as I shared on , the value it added to our relationship was priceless.

Adolescence presents a big opportunity to reconnect

Yes, kids pull away, but they also come back – especially when they’re hurt or confused or excited to share good news. Girls live with an ongoing blizzard of thoughts and emotions. They want sounding boards, safe places, and people they can be “real” with to process life and events.

One gift you give your daughter is to be her emotional coach. Teach her to discern what she’s feeling (Maybe you snapped at Anna because you’re still hurt by her comment last week?) and verbalize it.

Girls who never develop emotional intelligence or self-control can wreak havoc in their relationships. They may become bulls in a china shop, taking their feelings out on anyone nearby.

The other extreme is girls who channel their emotions internally. They bottle them up, never processing them, and eventually the emotions come out as passive-aggression or self-destructive behavior. This too is unhealthy.

I often tell my daughters you have to know yourself. Pay attention to your moods and triggers. Some days I want to claw somebody’s eyes out, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to do it. We all have to learn to harness, manage, reflect on, and work through our feelings, keeping them in check so we don’t hurt others or ourselves.

Love your daughter and let her vent …

… but don’t be her punching bag. Teenagers push limits, and sometimes we moms take more than we should because we’re scared to lose them. We sympathize with their struggles and let them cross lines.

I think this is a mistake. It’s human nature to push a person as far as you can, and when we let our daughter (or son) treat us a punching bag, we set a bad precedent for future relationships. One day it won’t be us they’re coming home to; it will be their roommate, their spouse, their child.

It’s okay to vent and unload stress, but it’s not okay to disrespect someone in the process. Additionally, teenagers need a healthy respect for authority if they hope to keep a job.

I’ve had to tell all my children: “You can’t talk to me that. I love you, but I won’t let you disrespect me. If you do you’ll lose privileges. Please don’t take your anger out on me. I’m only trying to help.” If I can stay calm, they usually calm down too.

Provide a healthy outlet

The best thing to do with big thoughts, big feelings, and big emotions is channel them into something healthy. Find a therapeutic outlet that brings peace and happiness, art, music, prayer, exercise, spending time in nature, or pursuing a passion.

Encouraging your daughter to journal might also help. Let her pour her heart onto paper to collect her thoughts and express her feelings. Writing things out makes it easier to eventually say them out loud. It gives your daughter a safe place to be honest and transparent.

In her book, Untangled, Lisa Damour says, “You must work with the assumption that every teenager secretly worries that she’s crazy.” I love this, because what I believe comforts girls most is the assurance they aren’t alone.

The very emotions that feel so unique and foreign are actually normal and universal. Talking them out with trustworthy people helps you untangle them. This is true for kids, adolescents, and adults. While none of us ever “master” our emotions, we can learn to control them so they don’t control us.

So if your daughter is new to adolescence or quickly headed there – hang in there. Be patient. Don’t let a rocky start or a hard season scare you off, because your daughter really needs you.

Teenagers are forgiving, and they’re also really fun and smart. They can take a good word and run with it.

A little coaching can go a long way – and so can some soul-searching on your end to find an approach that speaks to your daughter.

This article originally appeared on and is reprinted here with permission. 

Kari Kampakis is a mom of four girls, as well as an author, speaker, and blogger from Birmingham, Alabama. Her two books for teen & tween girls, d: Whose Approval Are You Living For? and 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, have been used widely across the country for teen girl studies. 

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28 Cute & Short Father Daughter Quotes with Images

Prayer For A Teenage Daughter

We now live in a society where fathers are similar to mothers in providing care to their children. That presence and effort is the start of a bond that is very important between a father and a daughter.

Originally posted by pinterest

It is also the reason why fathers are very influential in their daughter’s lives, especially when it comes to self-esteem and decision making. Let your heart be captivated as you go through these cute and short father daughter quotes which will make you love your dad even more.

These heart warming and inspirational father daughter quotes will make you realize how important your dad is and how he has made a big impact in your life as you grow up to be a strong, confident woman. Make sure to not forget about your mama and send her one of these sweet mother daughter quotes

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