Prayer For A Father Who Is An Alcoholic
What I Learned from Having a Father with Alcoholism
Health and wellness touch everyone’s life differently. This is one person’s story.
I heard mumbling coming from the first-floor master bathroom and wandered in to find him nearly unconscious with three empty handles of gin tossed into the gigantic Jacuzzi tub. I lifted him up from the bathroom floor, looked into his bloodshot eyes, and inhaled the sharp odor of gin. He started crying and saying things I — his 14-year-old daughter — shouldn’t hear.
I thought that I could fix my father — in the movies, when the character you love is about to die and there’s a dramatic scene right before the bad guy surrenders. In the end, everyone lives happily ever after. I however was definitely starring in a different movie.
That January, I was returning from boarding school, unaware of and unprepared for the changes that awaited me at home. I discovered my father was an alcoholic, and my mother was battling the emotional turmoil of our family crisis. That may have been the first time I felt completely useless — a feeling a parent should never make their child feel.
Fast-forward a few years later, while I was away at college, finishing lunch with my friends, when my mom called.
“Dad passed away this morning,” she said.
I collapsed on the sidewalk. My friends had to carry me back to my dorm room.
Having a parent with alcoholism can be endless disappointment. Even in their darkest moments, they’re still your hero. You still love them for who they are. You know it’s not really “them” — it’s the alcohol, and you’re hopeful the horrors will all end soon. That hopeful ending is what keeps you going, even when the process is confusing and distracting and sad.
In the years of growing up with and without a father who drank and wondering if alcoholism defined “me,” I’ve learned a few things, often the hard way. These mottos, which I live by now, all resulted in a better, healthier “me.”
1. Don’t compare your life to others
Constant comparison isn’t just a thief of joy. It also limits what we think our capabilities are as an evolving person. You’re constantly wondering why your home life isn’t others, something you shouldn’t have to focus on as a kid.
2. Be the bigger person
It’s easy to set your default emotions to being bitter when life feels “unfair,” but life isn’t about what’s fair. You might feel you’re being duped because the person you care about isn’t doing what’s obviously right, but getting worked up about these choices won’t affect the other person. It only affects you.
Take a deep breath and remember to be kind. Hate never wins, so love them through their troubles. Hopefully they’ll come around on their own. That’s how alcohol recovery works — the person needs to want it. If they don’t come around, at least you’ll be at peace with yourself. It would suck to stoop to their level and have it backfire.
3. You are not their addiction
In high school, I struggled with the idea that I’d become a certain person because alcoholism was in my blood. And while genetics have proven to be a huge factor for addiction, it doesn’t define you.
I was a mess from excessive partying and drug abuse. I treated people horribly, but I wasn’t really “me.” Today, I’m nowhere near that person now, mainly because I gave my lifestyle a total makeover. Once I rid my thoughts of believing that alcoholism defined who I was, there was a shift in my overall being.
4. Practice forgiveness
I learned this early on, mainly from attending Sunday school at church: In order to free yourself of hateful thoughts, you have to treat others the way you want to be treated. I’m guessing if you really messed up, you’d want to be forgiven, too.
5. Don’t enable
There’s a big difference between being compassionate and being a crutch. It’s hard work to emotionally support and uplift another without draining yourself. That “emotional support” they might need may be disguised as doing a simple favor, but it could end up contributing to the problem — especially if it gives others an excuse to continue bad behavior.
Just be loving to everyone, always, includingyourself.
7. Avoid drinking and parenting at the same time
Don’t let this happen. Kids know everything. They see you every day and are constantly observing. They’re innocent and vulnerable and unconditionally loving and will pick up on (and forgive you for) any behavior — good or bad. Set the most insanely loving, nurturing, honorable example you can, all the time.
Children need to see gratitude, especially in the hardest of times. It’s from this that they learn, and they’ll teach their own children the gratitude, thoughtfulness, and love they’ve observed — not necessarily what we think we’ve taught them.
So be gracious. Be thoughtful. Be good.
Lifestyle and mom blogger Samantha Eason was born and raised in Wellesley, Massachusetts, but currently lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband and son Isaac (aka Chunk).She uses her platform, Mother of Chunk, to fuse together her passions for photography, motherhood, food, and clean living. Her website is an uncensored space that covers life, both the beautiful and the not so beautiful.
To tune into what Sammy and Chunk get into daily, follow her on Instagram.
Bible Verses for Fathers: 22 Quotes for Dads
We live in a day and in a culture that tries to minimize fathers. Turn on many of the popular sitcoms on television today and the father is often viewed as the comic relief of the show. Dad is just there but not involved with the things of the family.
This depiction is sometimes funny on television but oh so sad if this is the case in real life. Fathers are so important in the development of their children. The Bible is clear that Fathers are to be spiritual leaders in the home.
The Bible has much to say about both our earthly fathers and God our heavenly father. Consider the following verses…
Featured Bible Verse Psalms 103:13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
Just know that all followers of Jesus Christ have the best Father there is.
Verses For Fathers
Deuteronomy 1:29-31 Then I said to you, ‘Do not be in dread or afraid of them. The LORD your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the LORD your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.’
Psalms 127:3-5 ¶ Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Proverbs 23:24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.
Proverbs 20:7 The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!
1Thessalonians 2:11-12 For you know how, a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.
Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
Luke 15:20-23 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.
I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and cet us eat and celebrate.
For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Bible Scriptures About Fathers and Discipline
Proverbs 3:11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.
Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Proverbs 4:1–4 Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me,“Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Ephesians 6:2, 4 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),…4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Hebrews 12:7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
Malachi 4:6 And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”
Bible Scriptures About Our Father in Heaven
Matthew 7:9-11 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
John 14:2 In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?
Matthew 23:9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven.
Galatians 4:6 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”
Ephesians 4:4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Maybe you are reading this article because you are a father and want to take your role seriously. Or maybe you are reading this because you had an earthly father that was not the best and you are still hurting from your upbringing.
Just know that all followers of Jesus Christ have the best Father there is. God the Father loved you and me so much that he sent his only Son Jesus to die for your sins and mine. That is a love that we will never fully understand but we can be thankful for.
Take some time to meditate on the verses in this article and let God draw you closer to him.
Take a look at these other similar type articles:
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
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7 Bible Verses For An Alcoholic To Study
Everyone has hurts, habits and hang-ups in their lives. These can often lead people to drink or do drugs in order to numb the pain.
Celebrate Recovery is one amazing Christian program that helps people with all sorts of addictions find freedom and deliverance from these types of issues. Here in this article, though, I would to address those who struggle with alcoholism.
God is bigger than our problems, and he can help us overcome any challenges we face. With this in mind, here are 7 Bible verses for an alcoholic to study.
God made everything, including wine and other alcoholic beverages. On their own they are just another drink for individuals to enjoy.
Unfortunately, they can also be abused, and this can lead to all sorts of addictions and problems. This verse reminds us of the pitfalls of drinking or eating too much, as anything done in excess can lead to “rags” and ruin.
Whenever we let something else control our lives, then we will be headed straight for trouble.
Many non-Christians often believe that following Jesus means that we have to obey all sorts of rules and commandments. Nonetheless, verses this one are not meant to restrict or harm us, but rather they are written to help us avoid harmful and even dangerous behavior. God loves us so much that he wants us to walk in peace, in health and in joy—not in addictions or as slaves to anything.
This is a great verse for an alcoholic to study, because it describes the freedom that we can have in Christ.
Addictions of any sort—drugs, pornography, food, fear, alcohol, to name a few—enslave and hold captive everyone under their power. But the Lord reminds us here that Christ came to set us free.
In other words, freedom is possible and available to anyone who calls on the name of the Lord. We no longer need to be controlled by anything other than our love for God.No one wants to be told what to do or what not to do, as our human nature demands we be “in charge” of our own lives. The problem is that sin entangles us, and we then become slaves to our own desires and harmful addictions.
How many families as well as individual lives have been broken or damaged because of alcoholism? So the Lord is pointing out here that things envy and drunkenness not only hurt us personally, but they can also keep us the kingdom of God because our focus is on the wrong thing.
As I mentioned before, drinking alcoholic beverages is not necessarily a sin, but the problem comes when it is abused or imbibed to excess. When a person gets drunk, they are giving up control of their faculties.
The apostle Paul clearly commands us not to get drunk here for that very reason. He also gives us an excellent alternative—be filled with the Holy Spirit who brings us life, hope, wisdom, and peace in its place.
I believe that Christianity is not a religion, but rather it is a call to have a relationship with almighty God. He wants us to commune with him, and be set free from anything that would hurt us.
This verse is a great one to study, because it gives us specific and very helpful steps to follow in order to free ourselves from any addictions and strongholds in our lives.
Confessing our sins and praying for each other will bring healing and deliverance.
Even though we are weak and frail sinners, God’s love is faithful and firm. In our darkest hours he comes through for us, as he restores our hope and our lives. He forgives our sins and cleanses us from the consequences of our actions, when we turn our lives over to him. All we need to do is confess our sins to him, and then he forgives our darkest deeds. That is such great news!
No matter what habit, hurt or addiction we might be struggling with, God is bigger than our problems. He is always willing and eager to help deliver us from our pain and struggles.
All we need to do is confess our sins, and ask him into our hearts to be our Lord and Savior. Once this is done, then he frees us from the slavery of alcoholism or whatever else may hold us captive.
He is faithful and good all the time.
Written by Karla Hawkins
I am very grateful to be a Christian author, editor and translator. Some of my favorite pastimes include traveling, and connecting with family and friends via social media. When I am not working, I love spending time with my family and especially with both of my precious grandsons.