For Trust In A Special Relationship
21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work
Last Updated on October 30, 2018
Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken.
Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times.
However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship.
Long distance relationships may be tough but they have their own surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong, here are 21 tips to make your long distance relationship work:
1. Avoid excessive communication
It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”
Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.
2. See it as an opportunity
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous
View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.
As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,
“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4
3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations
Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.
For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.
4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.
To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
5. Talk dirty with each other
Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. Sexual desire is a glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Not only is sex a biological need, it is an emotional one as well.
Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.
6. Avoid “dangerous” situations
If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her.
Don’t be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels powerless or lacking in control.
Also, It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you, unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with your office eye-candy after work, or going out with a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation.
Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.
7. Do things together
Play an online game together. Watch a documentary on or Vimeo at the same time. Sing to each other on Skype while one of you plays the guitar. “Take a walk together” outside while video-calling each other. Go online-shopping together — and buy each other gifts (See #13).
You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.
8. Do similar things
Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.
This is a good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.
9. Make visits to each other
Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship.
After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfill all the little things kissing, holding hands, etc. which are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships.
It will be fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows and butterflies everywhere.
10. Have a goal in mind
“What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves.
The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down.
So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
That’s right, you need motivation to make a relationship lasts too. Find out more about what motivates you here.
11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family
You are alone but you are not lonely, unless you choose to feel it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that doesn’t involve your partner.
12. Stay honest with each other
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out.
Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need.
it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
13. Know each other’s schedules
It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting.
Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g. college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc.
This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.
each other’s photos on and Instagram. Tweet each other. Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Show that you care. Be cool about stalking each other.
15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to
There is power in a memento. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not.
This is what we all do — we try to store memories in physical things, in the hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember.
This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.
16. Get a good messaging app
This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allow interactions beyond just words and emoticons.
Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use.
You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g. Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL and etc.) at a low price.
From time to time, the app also gives out free sticker sets for different promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.
17. Snail-mail your gift
Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear and such.
18. Stay positive
You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.
One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.
19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family
Because gossips and scandals are always the best things to go on and on about.
20. Video-call whenever possible
Because looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.
21. Give each other pet names
Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going.
More Recommended Relationships Experts on Lifehack
- Carol Morgan — A communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach
- Dr. Magdalena Battles — A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault
- Randy Skilton — An educator in the areas of relationships and self-help
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com
10 Ways to Build Trust In a Relationship
It’s not uncommon to assume some level of trust in a new relationship but sometimes that trust is misplaced or misunderstood. The question isn’t should you trust; it’s how do you build trust so your relationship can grow and thrive?
Before you can build trust, you have to understand what it means to you and your partner. Clearly communicating your expectations and understanding what your partner needs is the foundation for building a long-lasting relationship.
The problem is we tend to shy away from these conversations when a relationship is new for fear of scaring the other person away.
And by not having the conversation, assumptions are made which can lead to disagreements and even betrayal down the road.
Take the time to understand what your partner is looking for in a relationship and make sure your needs are expressed. When you begin there, building trust becomes much easier. To help you take the next steps…
Don’t assume trust exists and always be working to earn it. When we stop taking trust for granted and make it a priority, we will be conscious of our actions and the perceptions of those actions to our partner.
It makes sense that we want to keep promises we make to our partner, but often the little things get overlooked.Make keeping your promises about little things as important as keeping your promises about the big things.
Call when you are late, remember to pick up that item from the grocery store and remember to pay the bills on time. While these things may seem small, they go a long way towards building trust.
Do not keep secrets from each other, instead keep them for each other. Keep your personal conversations at home. It is only right to talk about something once you hear your partner bring the subject up in a conversation. Also realize, he might share information only with certain people. It’s his story, so let him tell it and follow his lead.
Communicate Openly and In Person
Make it a rule that most communication, especially important subject matter, must happen in person. The true meaning of a message can get lost via text, email and sometimes even on the phone. Make sure you are both heard and understood by talking face to face.
You might not understand why something is important to your partner, but the fact that it is important is all that matters. Before you can trust, you must respect each other and your differences without judgment.
Be real with your partner and that means sharing things that you often keep hidden. The ultimate sign of trust is living your truth and by doing so your partner will be more comfortable living theirs.
Trusting doesn’t mean mistakes won’t happen and when they do be forgiving. Holding on to past transgressions will only erode the trust in the relationship. We should feel the ability to make mistakes and so should our partners, without it being a constant source of contention. Letting go of the hurt, accepting the apology and moving on builds a trust truth and love.
Work on Your Personal Growth
We are better people and better in our relationships when we take the time to work on our personal growth. It’s important in any relationship for the people in it to grow as a couple and as individuals. It’s a focus on our personal growth that keeps the relationship solid and the trust in each other growing.
It is important in any relationship to be supportive of the other person. It is even more important to show that support when we are in a stage of building trust.
If one person in the relationship doesn’t feel that they can take a risk, make mistakes or try new things without support, the relationship will falter.
On the other hand, being supportive in good times and bad opens us up to living our truth knowing someone has our back.
Disagree in Private
A public forum is never a place to voice a disagreement. If what your partner is saying doesn’t sit well with you, discuss it at home. Often disagreeing in front of other people can shame or humiliate the other person.
This kind of behavior will damage your lines of communication and your trust factor. Waiting until you get home offers the benefit of formulating your thoughts in a respectful way to encourage an honest and open discussion.
Building trust isn’t hard when you approach your relationship with respect and understanding. The basic principle of trust is easy: do what you say you are going to do. Stay true to that and a trusting relationship will naturally begin to form.
Should a Professional or a Family Member Manage a Special Needs Trust? — Friendship Circle — Special Needs Blog
Serving as a trustee requires administrative and technical skills in addition to strong interpersonal communication skills.
Identifying the appropriate trustee is difficult in general; a Special Needs Trust presents additional challenges.
While most families will name a relative to serve as the trustee of their family’s Special Needs Trust, they are often unaware of the specialized knowledge needed to succeed in the role.
In many cases, it makes sense to have a family member involved in some capacity in the care of the individual with special needs. However, the Special Needs Trust beneficiary is almost always best served when a professional trustee with the specialized skills is named as the trustee or co-trustee.
How to Evaluate Alternatives
In considering trustees to name for your Special Needs Trust, I suggest evaluating your
alternatives with respect to the following characteristics:
- Administrative skills
- Communication skills
- Investment skills
- Knowledge of public benefits rules and regulations
- Available time to serve
- Desire to serve
- Ability to stay informed of legal and policy changes as they relate to Special Needs Trust administration.
All trustees owe a fiduciary duty to their beneficiaries. The fiduciary duty requires them to act in the best interests of the beneficiaries. The basic fiduciary requirements are as follows:
- Maintain detailed records
- Never co-mingle trust assets with the trustee’s personal assets
- Invest the trust assets prudently
- File all required income tax and distribution reports on time.
The Right to Delegate
Most trustees retain the right to delegate certain obligations of the trustee. These include the preparation of income tax returns, the management of the investments, and the annual accountings. While these roles can be delegated, the trustee always retains the fiduciary responsibility to confirm that they are done correctly.
Discuss Your Intentions in Advance
It is essential for families to discuss their intentions of naming relatives as trustees before the Special Needs Trusts are implemented. The results improve significantly when candid conversations are held in advance rather than after the parents pass away and the family member is informed that he or she is the trustee with no time to prepare for the role.
The reality is that few family members will possess all the necessary characteristics to be a successful trustee.
Similarly, most large bank trust companies are not skilled in handling Special Needs Trusts and are not structured to provide the level of care and contact most families want.
Often, the optimal solution will be to pair a family member who possesses a strong relationship with the beneficiary and a professional trustee.
A Trust Protector
In situations in which there is no family member who is willing and able to serve as co-trustee, a recommended alternative is to name a family member, friend, or colleague as a Trust Protector.
The role of Trust Protector is to remove the existing professional trustee and replace them with a new professional trustee should the need arise.
This removal power is not allowed to be granted to the beneficiary of a Special Needs Trust.
A Special Needs Trust is not Free
A family should expect their Special Needs Trust to pay fees to the trustee(s) of the Special Needs Trusts regardless of whether or not the trustee is a family member, a professional individual trustee, or a corporate trustee. Assuming that a family member will serve for free is a mistake.
While some family members may initially serve as trustee for free, their opinions about fees often change once they fully understand the complexity and amount of work involved. In evaluating trustee fees, most often you get what you pay for. Professional trustees charge fees because they understand the importance of their roles and the value of their services.
Saving hundreds of dollars in trustee fees may seem a great strategy; however, losing governmental benefits because the trust was administered incorrectly can be a far more costly matter.
There is a Role for Everyone
I believe there is a role for family members to play in the support and care of the family member with special needs. They can be companions, advocates, caregivers, or take on the legal roles of guardian or agent under various powers of attorney.
While few family members possess all the skills required of a special needs trustee, many have the ability to be valuable in one of these other roles.
If the trust beneficiary has difficulty communicating, it is essential to have a caregiver who can effectively communicate the needs of the beneficiary to the trustee.In discussing these various roles with family members, it is important to make sure that the family members you are considering for the roles are comfortable with what will be expected of them.
Trust is a super important part of a healthy relationship, but it’s something that many people struggle with, for a lot of different reasons.
What does trust mean? Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally. Trust is something that two people in a relationship can build together when they decide to trust each other. You can’t demand or prove trust; trusting someone is a choice that you make.
How Do I Build Mutual Trust in a Relationship?
Building trust within a healthy relationship happens gradually. How do you know if you should trust someone? This can be a hard question to answer, especially at the beginning of a relationship, but your own instincts about another person and the way they behave over time are two important things to consider when making that decision.
Of course, in a healthy relationship it’s important for both partners to trust and be trusted, to open up and be vulnerable with each other. Trust can’t be built if only one partner is willing to do this and the other isn’t. Building trust requires mutual commitment. So, as your relationship progresses, ask yourself:
Is My Partner There for Me (and Am I There for Them)?
We’re not just talking about being there physically, but emotionally, too.
Does your partner listen to you and support you? Are they sensitive to your problems, worries and fears? Do they show compassion and genuinely care about you? A person who is trustworthy is able to demonstrate consideration and care of others.
This also means that they trust you to know what’s best for yourself. A partner who tells you they know best, or that you don’t know how you really feel, isn’t showing that they trust you.
It’s also important to keep in mind that in a healthy relationship, you can trust that no matter what comes up your partner won’t react in a way that threatens your safety or harms you. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship with someone who can resolve conflicts in a healthy, respectful way.
Is My Partner Consistent (and Am I Consistent with Them)?
Each person in a relationship demonstrates their trustworthiness through consistency in their actions. The first behaviors you look at might be relatively small, showing up for dates at agreed-upon times.
Keeping private information just between the two of you and always respecting boundaries are other clues someone is dependable.
Again, learning these things in a relationship happens gradually, as you both show that you are consistent with your actions not just occasionally, but all the time.
Does My Partner Say What They Mean and Do What They Say (and Do I Do the Same)?
Another way a person shows they are trustworthy is when their words and behavior match up. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “That person is all talk.
” It generally means that someone’s words and actions don’t really correspond; they say one thing and do another.
For example, if someone says they love you, and then they act abusively toward you, their words and actions don’t match. When you love someone, you do not abuse them.
Many people who contact loveisrespect are in relationships where one partner is constantly checking in, asking where the other partner is at all times, and/or trying to control who their partner spends time with.
These behaviors aren’t healthy or signs of trust; again, trust is a choice you make. You can trust someone whether they’re right next to you or a long distance away. When there is trust, a person doesn’t feel a need to monitor or control their partner.
They don’t need their partner to “prove” their love and faithfulness. It’s a lack of trust that makes those behaviors feel necessary. If you trust someone, you trust them regardless of who they spend time with or where they go.
You trust that, even if someone else wanted to hurt your relationship, your partner wouldn’t let that happen.
My Trust Was Broken in the Past. How Can I Trust Again?
If you’ve been burned in the past, it’s understandable that you might have a hard time trusting other people.
It can help to remind yourself that your new partner is NOT your old partner (or your friend, family member, or whoever broke your trust before), and making assumptions about them the actions of a completely different person isn’t really fair.
Even if you’ve been hurt before, that’s not an excuse for checking up on your new partner or demanding that they prove their trustworthiness to you. As we’ve said, trust is a choice, and building on that trust within a relationship takes time.When we begin a relationship with someone, we’re making the choice to trust them. If you feel that you aren’t able to trust anyone else right now, you might not be ready to be in a relationship.
It’s worth noting that being able to trust yourself is an important component in trusting others. Being hurt by someone in the past may have affected your ability to trust yourself and your own instincts.
Just remember that the person who broke your trust in the past made that choice; you can’t take responsibility for someone else’s actions or decisions.
If you’re struggling with this, taking time to work through it, maybe with a counselor or therapist, could be very helpful in regaining trust in yourself and your ability to trust others.
Are you dealing with trust issues? Our advocates are here to help. Call, chat or text with an advocate today!
Want to know how to build trust in a relationship?
We can all agree that trust in a relationship is essential.
However, do we always practise what we preach? According to a recent study by the American Psychological Association, when a person is looking for love, trust is the most desired quality in a partner, ahead of personality, common values and sexual compatibility.
1 However, the study also revealed that, on average, in one in five interactions with another human being – we will tell a lie. On the plus side, married couples lie once in every ten interactions, but for new couples, a lie is told in one in three interactions!
So, how are we to build trust in a relationship when we continue to lie to those we are closest to? Well, it’s pretty simple really, just be honest. Here are our 5 steps towards a relationship built on a foundation of honesty, with advice from our EliteSingles psychologist, Salama Marine.
Step One: Be honest with yourself
In order to be honest with your partner, you must first be honest with yourself. It is important to really know what we think and feel about the world around us.
Salama advises that, «we set our own opinions and not the opinions influenced by our culture or our family.» By understanding our own opinions on issues such as relationships, marriage, raising children etc.
, we will then find it easier to be honest when these topics arise in conversation with our partners.
READ MORE: Learn to charm through conversation. How to flirt online.
Step Two: Actions speak louder than words
After several years of relationship, the words spoken between two partners may tend to lose their original meaning. The most common example is the famous 'I love you'.
At the beginning of a relationship, saying to one another ‘I love you’ is deeply meaningful. However, over the years the more the phrase is repeated, the more automatic and mechanical it becomes.
The words lose their initial intensity.
In order to avoid this, Salama explains that, «our words must have meaning. When one partner says 'I love you', their actions must follow their statement.» For example, make an effort to spend more time together, or break your daily routine with a spontaneous romantic gesture.
Step Three: Don’t hide your vulnerable side
To be honest with your partner may seem to be rather obvious advice, but many of us are mistaken on what being ‘honest’ truly means.
When we hear the word ‘honesty’ we often tend to think of it in negative terms, as a form of criticism, a way in which to express a disagreement with your partner. But, to be honest also means voicing your own feelings without fear of be vulnerable.
Salama gives the example of being disappointed that your partner is not present enough because he or she works too hard.
«The classic criticism might be to say 'you work too much, you're never there, you prefer your work to our relationship,' but if you are honest with yourself, what you are really feeling in this situation is vulnerability. Instead say, 'when you're not here I miss you.'» Your choice of words is extremely important in expressing your true feelings.
READ MORE: Want to know how to get over your ex? 3 ways to move on.
Step Four: Learn to accept criticism
Building trust in a relationship is a two way street. In order to have an honest relationship with your partner, you must also be ready to accept their honesty, even if it is a criticism of you. It is important to be able to see things from the perspective of your partner.
Salama advises that «It is best not to be in a defensive position and to step back to analyse the situation.» Take time to listen to your partner, and try to understand their side of the argument.
Both of you should feel free to express your feelings without fear of the reaction from the other; this is the basis of any healthy relationship.
READ MORE: Who should ask for the second date? Find out here.
Step Five: Don’t lose your independence
When you are in the early stages of a loving relationship, the temptation to spend all your time together is great, but to feel a closeness to someone does not mean being inseparable.
Salama explains that, «in order to build a truly strong relationship, it’s important to keep your independence – having separate friends for example helps to maintain an equal balance between the two of you. This way, one partner will not be more reliant on the other.
If you can trust your partner and allow them to flourish outside of the relationship, you will ultimately flourish together as a pair too.»Honesty ultimately is the key to build trust in a relationship. Be honest with yourself and your partner and your relationship will strengthen each day.
If you’re ready to build a long-lasting relationship with someone special, join EliteSingles today.
If you have any questions, hints or tips about building trust in a relationship then please comment below or email us at email@example.com
About Salama Marine:
Salama Marine trained at the Paris College of Psychological Practitioners, and is now a registered Psychologist helping people with their interpersonal relationships in the realm of love, sex and marriage. She has worked extensively within the online dating industry, and provides consultation to those wishing to connect with -minded partners online.
6 Ways to Build Trust in a Long Distance Relationship
Do you usually measure the distance between you and your partner by the inches or the miles?
Now let’s forget about the physical distance between you for a minute, how close do you feel heart-to-heart? You can be miles away from someone and still feel incredibly emotionally close to them—secure in your relationship and how you two feel about each other.
One of the things that makes that possible is trust. Trust plays a key role in how close you both feel in the heart-to-heart sense. But what is trust, and how can you build it in a long distance relationship?
What is Trust?
According to Merriam-Webster, trust is “assured reliance of the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.”
In a relationship, trust is crucial. If you do not trust the other person, you will spend your time doubting the relationship or second-guessing your partner or yourself instead of relaxing, enjoying, connecting, and investing in your relationship.
Knowing that the other person has your back and will support you—trusting that they care for you, that they will behave decently, and that they have your best interests at heart—builds a positive climate within a relationship. In relationships where one or both parties don’t have much trust in each other, there will usually be a lot more negative emotions, conflict, suspicion, and tension in the air.
So if trust is so necessary to having a healthy relationship, how can you increase the trust you have in each other? And how do you do that over distance?
There are numerous ways you can build trust over distance, including some you’re probably already doing regularly. But thinking through and understanding what these “trust-building-techniques” are, can help motivate you to continue investing in your relationship and enjoying the positive rewards of a trusting connection however far apart you are.
1. Keep a Healthy Level of Conversation Going
Most partners in a long distance relationship expect some form of daily contact or communication if their circumstances allow for it.
This doesn’t have to mean that you spend hours on the phone very day or send 100 text messages. (In fact, sending 100 text messages can make you come across as more annoying and needy than affectionate.
) What a healthy level of conversation is will vary across couples.
But, in general, it can mean responding when your partner reaches out to you and regularly having conversations about what you’re both doing, thinking, and feeling.It will help you find your long distance rhythm if you talk together about when (and for how long) you can generally connect. What times of day suit you best to talk? How long do you generally talking for? How do you connecting? Is there a day or time during the week you’d to have a longer “long distance date” conversation?
The more you both understand where each other is coming from in your communication preferences, the better you understand what is realistic and sustainable in your long distance communication. Knowing this will help you trust each other’s intentions more, and feel more secure and peaceful in your relationship.
2. Make each other a priority
It’s great to know each other’s schedules and preferences when it comes to communication. That can make connecting easier. It doesn’t, however, guarantee that it’s always going to be easy and convenient to talk or that you’ll both agree on what a “healthy level of communication” is. In fact, you may have to stretch and compromise to make your partner a priority.
What does this look ? It can mean reliably checking in at times you’ve both agreed are convenient or setting aside for each other specifically. It can mean responding as soon as reasonably possible when your partner reaches out to you. It can mean staying in on a weekend night so that you can have a longer, unhurried Skye date.
In general, making each other a priority in your schedule goes a long way towards building the trust and commitment you both need to sustain a long distance relationship. That trust can also help carry you through bumps in the road—when there are some scheduled or unexpected gaps between messages and calls.
When you’re in a long distance relationship, unexpected delays or interruptions to the routines you might have established can be particularly confusing or upsetting. However, if you have established trust in each other by making each other a priority and staying connected, this will help you feel less insecure and unsettled during these times.
3. Be Open and Honest With Each Other About Feelings
Couples often focus on sharing their best and happy feelings, but partners have to be prepared to support one another during less enjoyable or more stressful times, too.
If you are able to see each other often, you may learn to pick up on early warning signs when moods are shifting.
However, just being in close proximity with your significant other doesn’t mean that you’ll both be good at being transparent and honest about your thoughts and feelings.Think about the last time you were in a terrible mood or not feeling well and someone asked you how you were. Did you smile and say “good?”
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you both have to choose to be open and honest even during the rough times.
Alerting your long distance partner to the ups and downs of your day or week not only gives you an outlet you might really need, it helps them learn what to expect if you have a day that again.
It may be awkward to try and put complicated thoughts and feelings into words over the phone or in an email, but it’s a skill worth practicing.
When you are open and honest with someone, it encourages them to be open and honest with you and helps them understand and trust you more.
4. Send Special Surprises and Celebrate Milestones
Even though you might live apart, you can do things to remind each other that you care. Most people treasure reminders that someone is thinking of them while they’re away—they can be an incredibly meaningful boost. Sending a small gift or unique card in the mail can provide just what they need to trust they feel loved and cherished that day. (Check our our recommended gifts page here.)
If your partner favors any particular holidays or holds any particular dates special for their own reasons, a message or a gift acknowledging that can help build trust by showing them you remember things that are important to them.
Can you share your daily calendar with them? Or keep a joint one?
Giving your partner access to your daily calendar and to-do lists helps build trust because you are showing you have nothing to hide. Instead of only telling them about certain aspects of your day, you are putting everything out in the open.
Your partner can easily see how many meetings you had or who your lunches were with, and this is important because keeping secrets (or simply omitting information) can cause friction in the future.
And if you know the ins and outs of their schedule you can ask them more detailed questions about certain parts of their day.
6. Help Them Know Your Other Friends and Family
When you enter into a new relationship, you start building a connection with the person and (hopefully) other people in their network of relationships.
Introducing your partner to those around you will help solidify trust in the relationship and provide additional sources of input. Relationship networks are spider webs.
When your partner gets to know your friends and family they have other “reference points” of people who love and respect you. This helps build their trust in you and anchor them more securely in your life.
What does trust mean to you, and how have you built trust in your long distance relationship?
Ryan is a contributing writer for Verdant Oak Behavioral Health. In his spare time, he enjoys traveling and spending time with his family.
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Building trust in a relationship: 5 steps to a stronger bond
We’ve all heard how important it is to be honest with your partner. Yet, with research showing that couples tend to lie to each other once in every 3-10 exchanges, 1 it’s clear that not everyone practises what they preach. Nonetheless, if you are going to have any chance of having trust in a relationship, honesty is important.
And this means that you have to start by being honest with yourself. After all, if you’re not clear about what you want from a partner, then how can they help you meet your goals? To build a loving, trusting relationship, you therefore need to start by thinking about the important things – marriage, children, the future – and then find a partner who wants to share that journey.
Salama’s tip: ‘’Knowing yourself and what you want is the first step towards building trust with your partner. If you are both truthful about what you desire from the relationship you will be able to trust one another whole heartedly.’’
Step two: Show, don’t just tell
As you settle into the rhythm of a relationship, it can become all too easy to make certain phrases and words routine – delivering them and receiving them by rote. This especially applies to phrases ‘I love you’ – it’s oh-so-special the first few times but it can become something that is said almost automatically.
To emphasize the fact that you really do mean what your say – and, therefore, to emphasize that your partner can trust your words – it helps to back up loving words with loving actions. Surprise them with a romantic meal; do their part of the chores for them; rub their shoulders after a long day at work. Let them know, truly, that they are cherished.
Salama’s tip: ‘’Show your partner that you love them with romantic gestures and kind acts, not just with words. And, if saying ‘I love you’ is becoming more of a habit, it might help to break your daily routine – spontaneity can be a great way to show your partner you love them.’’
Step three: Reveal your vulnerable side
Many people mistakenly think that being completely honest with your partner involves telling it it is; letting them know exactly what you think of them. While this can be done constructively, all too often it can just end up sounding criticism: not the ideal way to build trust in a relationship!
Instead, try to be honest about your feelings rather than your thoughts. Letting your partner know why you are reacting to something (rather than just reacting) is a healthier way to approach disagreements. Indeed, if you’re willing to show vulnerability it will be far easier for the two of you to reach a solution that pleases you both.
Salama’s tip: ‘’If [for instance] you feel you’re not seeing your partner enough because of their work commitments, instead of accusing them of caring more about their work than you, be truly honest and admit the reason you’re upset is simply because you miss them. Don’t be afraid of showing your vulnerable side.’’
Step four: Accept that you won’t always be right
Of course, the other side of that coin is this: if you expect your partner to take your honest feelings and issues into account, you have to be prepared to do the same for them. If a relationship is to flourish, everyone involved needs to listen as much as they talk.
While it can be difficult to listen to criticism without feeling defensive, if your partner is showing you their vulnerable side remember that that is an action which deserves respect. Listen to them, take on board their suggestions and see if you can find a way through. You’re on the same side after all.
Salama’s tip: The relationship will not work if communication is one sided – in order to build trust in a relationship you must be able to be truly honest with one another [including] criticizing when necessary. The basis of a healthy relationship stems from the freedom to express your feelings to your partner without fear of the reaction.
Step five: Keep your independence and your closeness
In those first giddy days of a relationship it is tempting to spend every minute of the day by your beloved’s side. However, that is not a practical scenario in the long term. And, what’s more, your relationship may even benefit from time spent doing your own thing.
Indeed, couples who have the security to maintain their independence are setting themselves up nicely for the long-term.
When you happily see your partner off for activities without you, not only does it say lot about trust in your relationship, chances are it will add some excitement.After all, when you haven't been joined at the hip all day, you'll have much better stories at the end of it!
Salama’s tip: Building a truly strong relationship requires independence. Having separate friends, for example, helps to maintain an equal balance between you, so that one partner is not more reliant on the other. If you can trust your partner and allow them to flourish outside of the relationship, you will flourish as a pair too.
When it comes to relationships, trust is key. If you want that trust to last, make sure to build it from strong materials – honesty, loving communication and security.
If you’re ready to starting building your own lasting relationship then start in the right place – join EliteSingles today.