For A Christian Husband Serving Abroad

8 Important Ways You Can Love Your Husband Today

• Brenda Rodgers
• 2015Jul 27

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn as a married woman is how to serve and love my husband regularly and well, without expecting anything in return.

Before getting married I had a fairytale perception of marriage. On my wedding day I said, “I do”, but with a list of expectations tucked firmly away in the tulle of my wedding gown.

The ulterior meaning of “I do” was “I get,” even though I didn’t realize it at the time.

In our culture, the word “serve” has a bad connotation because to serve makes a person a “servant,” and no one aspires to be a servant.

Add the context of marriage to the discussion of servitude, and more specifically a wife serving her husband, and we join the never-ending debate of wives and submission.

However, for a Christian, being a servant is what Jesus calls us to do – especially in marriage.

Christian servitude in marriage does not imply that the roles of husband and wife are not equal. It also does not imply that wives should serve their husbands more than husbands serve their wives or vice-versa.

We are each called to be servants to one another because Jesus was a servant, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45)”. And serving others shows Jesus’ authority over our lives. “And he sat down and called the twelve.

And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:35).

Since this article is written for wives, here are 8 important ways you can serve and love your husband on a regular basis. The first four are things you can do for his spiritual growth. The others are more practical.

1. Pray for him.

Praying for your husband seems obvious, doesn’t it? But how often do we intentionally pray for our husbands outside “Lord, protect him” or “Lord, change him”?

Our husbands are in a daily war as the enemy fights for their hearts and minds. From their workplaces to their social activities to their home lives, men battle an excruciating amount of temptation. Making wise, godly decisions in the midst of all their daily distractions is impossible without our intercession for the Holy Spirit to equip and guide them.  

2. Show him with your actions, not your words.

The longer you’re married, the more you realize that you’re married to a sinner (and that he married a sinner as well). It seems that the list of characteristics you want changed in your husband grows, sometimes without any evidence of improvement.

The most encouraging verse in the Bible for me as a wife is 1 Peter 3:1-2, “wise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

I have found that this applies to conflicts in my marriage but also to habits that I wish would change in my husband. For example, I can’t expect him to eat healthier if I’m not eating healthy. However, instead of trying to convince him of his need to eat better, I motivate him through my example of eating better.

3. Allow him the space and time to grow.

After we pray for our husbands and encourage them my example, we must remember that it is only God who changes a man’s heart. It is God who grows our husbands.

First Corinthians 3:6-7 says, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.”

It’s tempting to make our husband’s growth about us and not about him and his relationship with God. We have to ask ourselves, do we want our husband to change so that his relationship with Jesus will be stronger or do we want our husband to change for our personal benefit?

Our motive should always be for our husband’s relationship with Jesus to grow stronger. Otherwise, it is a selfish motive.

With this in mind, we must remember that God initiates change and growth and it is always in Him timing, not ours. Sometimes evidence of growth is slow. We may never see it at all.

But we have to stay faithful in prayer and action, showing patience for what God wants to do in our husband’s life.

4. Believe in him.

We can’t forget the definition of love. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7).

As long as we may have to pray for our husband and be an example for our husband, we can’t give up on him. We must be his biggest cheerleader and his biggest ally, in his journey towards fullness in Christ.

5. Participate in his hobbies.

Before I was married, an older married friend told me she was going motorcycle riding with her husband. This intrigued me because my friend didn’t seem the type of person who would to ride motorcycles. So I asked her if she d to go motorcycle riding.

She went on to tell me that she, in fact, did not enjoy riding motorcycles. But one thing she had learned in marriage is the importance of participating in the hobbies your husband s to do.

Our husband feels the same when we participate in his hobbies. Participating in his hobbies is what makes our marriage a friendship.

6. Give him time to unwind after work.

Before bombarding your husband with the day’s news and issues while he was at work, give him space and time when he comes home to unwind from his day. Even prayerfully consider the best time to discuss important issues so that they don’t add unnecessary stress.

7. Speak favorably to him to others when he’s not around.

I am always surprised about how my attitude towards my husband changes when I speak well of him to my friends as opposed to when I complain about him or tear him down. Speak words of affirmation towards your husband with others because this affects your attitude towards him when you’re together.

8. Tell him “thank you”.

Often. Every day tell your husband thank you for what he does for you and your family. Even if you don’t feel thankful, thank him anyway.

Brenda Rodgers considers herself a “recovering single” after years as a single woman chasing after marriage instead of chasing after Jesus. Now her passion is to mentor young women to live purposefully and grow in their relationship with God and others.

Brenda has been married for five years to a heart transplant hero and is the mom of a toddler girl miracle. She is also the author of the eBook Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single. You can also read more on Brenda’s blog, www.TripleBraidedLife.

com and follow her on and .

Источник: //www.ibelieve.com/relationships/8-important-ways-you-can-love-your-husband-today.html

6 Tips for Being a Godly Husband | Cru

Want to be a godly husband? Subscribe to a short video series offering practical tips for growing as a husband.

God’s purpose for marriage is to make us more Christ.

When I applied for a marriage license a year after I had graduated from college, all I had to do was pay a fee.

There was no training, no video and no job description.

In spite of the fact that I lacked many of the fundamental skills on how to make a marriage work, the license was granted!

I know there are many men today who are trying to figure out exactly what God expects of them as husbands.

So I came up with a list of the things I believe are central to being a godly husband.

1. Love God More Than You Love Your Wife

After three years of dating Mary Ann, we began to talk about marriage. A little while later we broke up. I was devastated.

While praying one night, things became crystal clear: Mary Ann had become an idol in my life. I cared more about what made her happy than what made God happy.

It was as if God were saying, “You will have no other gods before me, and if you put something or someone else in My place, I will remove it.”

In 25 years of marriage, I still run into the same problem. I keep myself in check with this question: Whom do I fear more — my wife or God?

The level of pain may be more immediate or more pronounced when I don’t please my wife. Because when I don’t please God, He doesn’t go into the other room and get silent on me.

But God reminds me, “You do the right thing, even if for the moment it doesn’t make her happy.”

2. Be a Spiritual Leader

Your wife probably came into the marriage with some idealized image of the two of you beginning each day around the breakfast table with some fresh-squeezed orange juice, doing devotions together.

She imagined you leaving for work and saying, “I’ll be back this evening, and we can have devotions again.”

About a month into the marriage, your wife was probably thinking, “What happened? Reading the Scriptures and praying together is so important.” If I could rewind my marriage and start this practice earlier, I would do it in a second.

“A man may not be a vocational theologian,” says Doug Wilson, author of “Reforming Marriage.”

“But in his home, he needs to be the resident theologian.”

3. Lead With Humility

The reason there is such a debate about whether men ought to be leaders in a marriage relationship is because too many men have not led with humility.

Men may be called by God to lead their wives, but our leadership should be selfless.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (New International Version).

Put this verse into practice, and it will solve 95 percent of the issues you face.

I have never met a woman who says, “I resist my husband’s leadership even though he is very humble and Christ.” 

The women I’ve met are craving godly leadership in their marriages.

4. Have Godly Courage

First Corinthians 16:13 gives a clear definition of biblical masculinity: “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.” Before we can be godly husbands, we must be men of courage.

Wrapped up in that definition of what it means to be a man is the idea of courage.

And the essence of courage is to have such a great fear of God that you fear nothing else.

5. Be a Provider

The husband should bear the primary responsibility for the financial needs of the home.

In fact, 1 Timothy 5:8 says if a man fails to provide for his household, he is worse than a pagan. That’s not the kind of reputation I want to have in the community.

Part of the root meaning for the word provider means “to look ahead.”

A provider is one who anticipates and does the strategic planning for the household. He thinks about the goals. Not just the financial goals, but the spiritual goals and emotional goals.

And many times his wife is the chief operating officer. The two of them need to unify their direction for the good of the family.

6. Love Her Biblically and Extravagantly

To love her biblically, we need to ask, “What is God’s love for us ?” The essence of His love for us is reflected in His commitment to us and His sacrifice for us. That’s what our love for our wife needs to look too.

For me, it often means placing her needs ahead of my own. And it means that I will still sacrifice for her even when we disagree. She must be my priority.

Remember the little line in the marriage vow, “Forsaking all others, until death do us part”?

That means your relationship with your wife is more important than any other relationship — friends, your boss or even your children.

Put simply, after our love for God, we must love our wives more than anything on earth. That is the essence of the marriage relationship.

D.L. Moody summed it up best: “If I want to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to a minister; I’d go and ask his wife.

“If a man doesn’t treat his wife right, I don’t want to hear him talk about Christianity. What is the use of talking about salvation for the next life if he has no salvation for this life?”

This past May, Mary Ann and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in Maui, Hawaii. The surroundings were incredible, but really we were just happy to be together.

That’s because God has used our relationship with each other more than anything else to make us more Christ. And ultimately, that is His purpose for marriage.

Источник: //www.cru.org/us/en/blog/life-and-relationships/marriage/six-tips-godly-husband.html

Serving abroad

After growing up in a tiny Louisiana town of 300 residents, Jorge Verlenden found herself on Cairo's teeming, traffic-choked streets when her husband took a teaching position at the American University there. She didn't speak Arabic, but she was determined to know the local community beyond the university walls.

“I was 24 years old and felt overwhelmed at first in this huge city of more than 20 million people,” she says. “Cultural adaptation is challenging for anyone, and feeling frustrated or confused is part of that process.”

Verlenden dove right in, learning Arabic with a tutor and teaching English to refugee children who had fled conflicts in Somalia and Ethiopia.

Later, she taught English for a year at international schools in Jordan before returning to Cairo in 2003, where she worked for eight years as an instructor and researcher for a local teacher training project funded by the U.S. Agency for International Development.

Those international experiences fueled Verlenden's interest in preventive programs for children with academic or behavioral problems, ultimately leading to Tulane University, where she is now a third-year doctoral student in developmental psychology. “Working overseas informed my worldview and larger career goals,” she says. “It also helped me be a more sensitive professional. I've worked with a lot of different types of people and individuals with extraordinary needs.”

As it has been for Verlenden, international service can be a transformative experience for psychology graduate students and early career psychologists. Finding an overseas assignment takes initiative, but there are many organizations that are looking for help across the globe. Some grants or awards also can help with travel and living expenses. Here's how.

Ask around at your university

Faculty members or researchers with an international focus can be valuable contacts with leads for work at organizations such as the United Nations, World Health Organization, the Peace Corps or Save the Children, advises Bonnie Nastasi, PhD, a Tulane University psychology professor who has done research in Sri Lanka and India. Many universities also have international offices that coordinate study-abroad programs or shorter service trips for undergraduate or graduate students.

Some universities and professional psychology schools require international service as part of their graduate programs, including the Latino Mental Health and Global Mental Health programs at the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology.

“It's definitely an important component of our students' training for them to experience what it is to work in another country and be immersed in the cultural fabric of that society,” says psychology professor Gemima St. Louis, PhD.

Students in the program must complete one-month clinical assignments in Ecuador and Costa Rica, where they live with host families and work with local mental health professionals.

St. Louis also takes graduate students to Haiti for weeklong mental health care training trips. The program is an outgrowth of her work as president of the Haitian Mental Health Network in Boston.

The organization sent mental health professionals to Haiti in 2010 to help residents cope after the massive earthquake that killed more than 85,000 people and left wide swaths of the country in rubble.

“No matter where you live, having access to culturally sensitive mental health care should be a human right,” St. Louis says. “Students are sometimes nervous or apprehensive about how they will be received on the trip. They often come back transformed and feeling even more rejuvenated, and their work becomes a passion.”

Do your research

Find out more about any potential international organization by doing research online, including through Guidestar and Charity Navigator, which provide ratings and financial information for various nonprofit organizations. The U.S.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has health advisories and vaccination lists for countries across the world.

The State Department website also issues important travel alerts that warn of security concerns in various countries, including civil war, persistent crime or terrorist threats.

During his work in Cambodia, Uzbekistan and China, early-career psychologist George Hu, PsyD, says he never felt in danger, but he always informed the U.S. embassy of his whereabouts and was deferential to local government officials and powerful people.

In Uzbekistan, he was detained for several hours at a police station simply because he had registered to stay at one hotel but then decided to stay elsewhere.

He paid a fine even though he thought it was unfair so he could continue working at a transitional housing center for adults with developmental disabilities.

While studying for his doctoral degree at Alliant University in San Francisco, Hu established contacts that led to a seven-month hospital internship in the Shaanxi province of China, where he treated patients and taught seminars. That experience led to other contacts and to his current position as a psychologist at Beijing United Family Hospital.

Hu says he never felt more American than when he first traveled to China, even though he speaks Chinese and his parents lived in China and Taiwan before immigrating to the United States.

He has become more attuned to local customs and plans on remaining in China with his wife and 3-year-old son because there are many opportunities for psychologists in an expanding field. “I feel a connection and responsibility toward this land of my ancestors,” he says.

“I enjoyed a lot of privilege growing up in the United States, and I want to give back to people in need who haven't had the same opportunities.”

Hu says he was lucky to find international assignments that covered most of his expenses, but financial help is sometimes available for students and early career psychologists who want to head overseas.

Identifying funding

For an international assignment, the biggest financial hurdle may be travel expenses, since the cost of living is often low in underdeveloped countries, Stout says. Many programs offer little or no pay but may provide assistance with local housing.

Fly for Good provides discounted international airfare for people involved in nonprofit humanitarian work, along with an online platform for crowd-funding travel expenses through tax-deductible donations from donors.

The Center for Global Initiatives also provides a helpful online list of grants, fund-raising options and social media promotion tools.

The division's website includes an information clearinghouse about fellowships, travel awards and other resources.

The American Psychological Foundation also offers various grants and scholarships for graduate students and early-career psychologists.

Another key resource is APA's Office of International Affairs, which offers an online list of scholarships and grants, along with directories of international psychology organizations that may provide contacts or leads about overseas assignments.

Although it may take some digging to secure the right opportunity, those who have done international work say it can be career changing.

“International service broadens your perspective about cultural differences and how we apply psychology across cultures,” Nastasi says.

“It's made me think more about the meaning of culture and how we define and assess it during research or work with clients.”

Brendan L. Smith is a journalist in Washington, D.C.

Источник: //www.apa.org/gradpsych/2014/04/serving-abroad

The Role of the Husband in a Christian Marriage

Being a follower of Jesus Christ changes a person.  It changes the believer’s priorities and focus, it changes the way in which the believer relates to others, it changes everything about how the believer lives.

  Therefore, the believing husband should have distinct characteristics evident in his marriage, characteristics that come from his relationship with Jesus.

  I certainly do not claim to be an expert on marriage, just ask my wife, but by following God’s guiding, any man can be a better husband.  Let us examine these characteristics.

A husband should be self-sacrificing

The Bible tells husbands to love their wives in a very special way, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up of her…” (Ephesians 5:25 ESV).  This passage tells us that husbands are to be self-sacrificing for their wives.

  Husbands are not to expect their wives to be slaves that exist merely to do the man’s bidding.  In fact, this same passage says, “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.

  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29, 33a ESV).

A husband should be dedicated to his wife

From the moment of birth, one’s relationship with one’s parents is vitally important.  Your parents nurtured you when you were incapable of taking care of yourself.  They taught you what they knew, and protected you from things harmful to you.  Without them, or someone them, you would not be here today.

Nevertheless, the husband is told, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31ESV).

  Although a man should continue to show his parents the honor they deserve (Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Matthew 15:4, 19:19; Mark 7:10, 10:19; Luke 18:20; Ephesians 6:2), he is also to separate from them and become one with his wife (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8; 1 Corinthians 6:16b; Ephesians 5:31).  This emphasizes the importance of the marriage relationship.

The husband should be faithful to his wife

Marriage is a covenant relationship; the husband and wife promise to be faithful to one another

In the Old Testament book of Malachi, as God chastises the disobedience of His people, He also expresses His view of the sanctity of marriage,“[The] Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.  Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?  And what was the one God seeking?  Godly offspring.  So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:14-16).  Several things are brought out in this passage:

(1) marriage is a covenant relationship; the husband and wife promise to be faithful to one another,

(2) this covenant is made in cooperation with God’s Spirit [one might wonder about the legitimacy of marriage for those who reject God]; and

(3) it is the responsibility of parents to make sure that their children are raised in a God-honoring manner.

  However, Jesus tells us that it is possible to be an adulterer in our hearts, even if the sin is never acted out, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28 ESV).

The husband should provide for his wife

There may be circumstances in which the husband is unable to provide for his wife and family, but as a general principle, the husband should provide for his wife, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8 ESV).  The husband should not carry out this duty grudgingly, but love for his wife and family…and gratefulness to God.

The husband should make sure he lets his wife know she is loved, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverbs 31:28 ESV).  Too often, we husbands do not tell our wives how much they mean to us.

  We know how we feel about them in our hearts, but we do not express it to them enough.  Often, men do not to share their feelings because of some misguided man-code, or the simple fact that we are uncomfortable expressing emotions.

  Nevertheless, we need to tell our wives how much we love them and how important they are to us.  It is the right thing to do, and she will love you even more for doing it.

The husband should be kind to his wife

There is no excuse for a husband to be hurtful to his wife, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).  We have already read the biblical mandate that husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church (see above).

  Jesus does not treat His church in hurtful ways; rather, He treats them with love.  In order for husbands to treat their wives with love, the husband must first be filled with the love that only comes from God.

  The Bible even ties our relationship with our wives to the success of our prayers, “wise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).  Our marriage relationship has a great affect on our whole life.

Conclusion

A Christian husband should love his wife with the love of Jesus Christ; his marriage relationship should be the most important relationship he has, except for his relationship with Jesus.

  He must give himself to his wife in a self-sacrificing way and strive to love her as Christ loves the church.

  He should guard his heart and mind, so that he is able to resist temptations that are sure to come at him in our culture.

Resources:

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

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Источник: //www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/the-role-of-the-husband-in-a-christian-marriage/

‘A very rare and precious letter’: Prince Charles reveals his longing for news from soldier son Harry in Christmas message for the troops

• The Prince of Wales paid tribute to servicemen and women serving abroad
• He said the nation owes them an 'everlasting debt of gratitude'
• Prince Charles's Christmas message was broadcast to soldiers this morning

By Steve Nolan

Published: 12:13 BST, 26 December 2012 | Updated: 14:30 BST, 26 December 2012

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Prince Charles has asked his son Harry to write more letters home from Camp Bastion in Afghanistan where he has been stationed since September.

The Prince of Wales joked that replies to letters sent to Prince Harry on the frontline are 'rare and precious' in a Christmas radio broadcast to troops serving overseas.

He encouraged all servicemen and women to write home over the festive period.

The Prince also used the message to pay tribute to UK soldiers serving abroad saying that the nation owes them an 'everlasting debt of gratitude.'

Scroll down to hear Prince Charles's message…

Christmas message: Prince Charles, pictured at St James's Palace last week, left, has urged servicemen and women – including son Prince Harry, right – to write home more in a festive message played to soldiers

In a festive message, recorded last week at St James's Palace and aired this morning, the Prince said all those stationed abroad were very much in his thoughts and prayers.

He added: 'I also wanted to pay tribute to the extraordinary contribution made by those of you who belong to our Armed Forces, in all sorts of different parts of the world.

'Nowhere is your fortitude and relentless courage more clearly on display than in Afghanistan, where your resilience, patience and determination to see the job through – usually in impossibly difficult conditions and circumstances – is, quite simply, humbling.'

Prince Charles's message was aired on the British Forces Broadcasting Service radio at 11am on the Total Ops Connection programme which is broadcast around the world from Camp Bastion.

The Prince is Colonel-in-Chief of four of regiments serving in Afghanistan – The Royal Dragoon Guards, Army Air Corps, The Royal Gurkha Rifles and The Mercian Regiment – and he said he knew about the hardships troops face because of the regular reports from his units – and the occasional contact with Harry.

Festive: Troops at a Christmas carol service in Camp Bastion Afghanistan. Prince Charles said that the UK owes soldiers serving abroad an 'eternal debt'

Tucking in: (left to right) Lance Corporal Carlos Da Costa from Jamaica, Corporal Al Butterfill from Doncaster and SAC Curtis Shield from Blackpool enjoy Christmas dinner in Helmand province in Afghanistan yesterday

He said: 'I am well aware of the discomfort and privations you all endure with seemingly endless reserves of good humour.

'In addition to the intense heat and dust of the summer and the freezing winters, you face the constant, terrifying threat of IEDs (improvised explosive devices), attacks from rockets, grenades and small arms fire almost every day – and sometimes these attacks come from infiltrators hidden among those who are supposed to be working alongside you as allies.

'And yet you all seem to bounce back in an almost unbelievable way, despite the setbacks and vicious insurgent attacks.'

He added: 'With two sons currently serving in the Armed Forces, one of whom is with you all out there, I really do have at least some understanding of what your loved ones on the 'home front' are going through.'

He said servicemen and women could keep in touch with relatives through phone calls and the internet 'or, in the case of my younger son, to receive a very rare and precious letter in answer to mine'.

In a picture released today to accompany the broadcast, the Prince is shown sitting at a table with a microphone in front of him and on the left lapel of his suit he wears four military badges.

He also wears the Army Air Corps tie.

Charles ended his broadcast by saying: 'Finally, I would just to reinforce a point that I have been trying to make for many years now – that our country is incredibly lucky to have people yourselves and that we owe you an everlasting debt of gratitude for all that you do and mean to us.'

Listen to the message here… 

Источник: //www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2253303/Prince-Charles-pays-tributes-soldiers-special-festive-message-servicemen-women-serving-abroad.html