A Prayer When Feeing Lonely
25 Creative And Surprising Things To Do When You Feel Lonely
Did you know that in Korea, people are recording themselves while having dinner? And people are actually paying to watch these videos! Is this another sign of loneliness creeping up on all of us?
According to a study of more than 170,000 people published at the Psychology Bulletin in 2013, the average adult’s network of friends and colleagues have shrunk over the past 3 decades. It’s no wonder many people feel lonelier than ever.
Feeling lonely, however, is not a direct cause of being alone. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowd.
Loneliness, in fact, is more dangerous than isolation because it increases a person’s mortality rate, according to John Cacioppo, co-author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Needs for Social Connection.
If it’s so dangerous, how do we fight loneliness then?
Wondering What to Do When You Feel Lonely? Here Are 25 Tried and Tested Tips
1. Just Show Up
Familiarity breeds attraction. A study published at the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that same-sex strangers felt increasing affinity towards each other, after each conversation they had.
The same goes for online chat conversations. Don’t be hesitant to talk to people, even if you feel awkward or don’t them at first.
If you’re genuinely interested or curious about others, they’re more ly to reciprocate those feelings.
2. Go On A Solo Date
You know the problem with group and couples dates? The annoying “So what do we do?” and “Where do we eat?” questions. When you go on a date with yourself, you’re sure to go somewhere you actually and you don’t have to wait around for others to decide.
3. Know The Difference Between Loneliness and Isolation
Loneliness is an emotion, mostly triggered by a sad memory. Unfortunately the brain loves to overanalyze things, so even momentary loneliness can escalate to longer spells because of thoughts “Why do I feel so alone?” and “Am I a loser no one loves?” When this happens, just acknowledge the feeling and don’t overreact.
4. Attend Meetups
Go to meetup.com and find a group in your city. There are tons of meetup groups catering to every interest, job, city and hobby, so it’s impossible not to find a group to your liking. People who join meetup.com are eager to meet new people, and are incredibly friendly so it’s a nice way to make new friends.
5. Watch A Movie
Watch a movie alone or call some friends to go with you—it doesn’t matter. What’s important is you immerse yourself in an interesting story that’ll erase your gloomy thoughts. Watch a chick-flick, or a super hero movie—anything but a tear jerker, really —and grab lots of candy and popcorn.
Focusing on the needs of others steers your mind away from sad thoughts. It’s impossible to feel lonely when you’re feeding the homeless, reading to kids at an orphanage, or dancing with grandmas at a salsa class. Helping the less fortunate will also fill you with immense gratitude.
7. Adopt A Cute Pet
A furry cat or dog will cheer you up. The playfulness of pets, plus the troubles (and fun) you’ll experience while training them will make you forget about your troubles. Even a goldfish or pretty parrot can do wonders for your mood.
8. Identify The Cause Of Your Loneliness
“What to do when you feel lonely?”
I can’t imagine how many people have Googled that phrase when they felt the pangs of loneliness. Unfortunately, it’s not the best question to ask. Would you ask a doctor for a prescription before they check your symptoms?
Instead of trying things randomly, hoping one solution will do the trick—losing hope and feeling worse when it doesn’t—it’s better to identify the cause of your loneliness first. If you were previously happy in your own company, what could’ve caused you to feel lonely this time?
Do your friends make you feel lonely? Is it your work or surroundings, perhaps? The cause of your loneliness will clue you in on the appropriate solution.
9. Read Fiction
Please don’t pick a Dummies book on how to stop feeling lonely. Reading self-help when you’re feeling miserable will make just you feel worse. Read a good novel instead. Losing yourself in a good story or identifying with a powerful character will boost your confidence and fill you with a sense of adventure.
10. Take A Bath
Where do good ideas come from? In the shower, right? Taking a nice, long, and relaxing bath is a great way to be bask in your alone time, instead of drowning in self-pity. Ladies, prepare a glass of red, chocolates and magazines. Gents, take a bubble bath ala Chandler by taking a manly boat with you!
11. Take A Random Bus, Train or Flight Off to Anywhere
Taking public transportation to a random location forces you to do two things—be in the company of strangers, and change your environment. Doing this will ward off loneliness and cure your wanderlust as well.
12. Dance (Naked)
Sometimes, we feel lonely because we’re actually alone. So take this chance to do the things you can only do when you’re alone, dancing naked or jumping on the bed with your shoes on. Doing crazy stuff alone will give you a good laugh.
13. Go For A Quick Run
Running is scientifically proven to make you happier. Even 30 minutes of walking can instantly lift your mood, according to a 2006 study published at Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.
14. Watch Friends
Okay, it’s now obvious that I love this show! I’ve watched it 5x now and it still makes me laugh. Watch “The One with the Unagi” and “The One With the Embryos” if you’re feeling lonely and need a good laugh.
15. Get Coffee
Go to a coffee shop far from your apartment or office. Then order coffee and sit on the bar, or that big table on the center where you can talk to people. Compliment someone on their tie, shoes or bag. Start a conversation. Don’t worry if you’re bad at small talk, because chances are you won’t see that person again.
16. Practice #JOMO
Social media is helpful, but it could be detrimental depending on how you use it. When your default behavior is to keep scrolling on instead of talking to whoever’s with you, or taking a picture of everything you eat instead of just savoring it, then it’s time to experience the joy of missing out (JOMO)—a practice promoted by Randi Zuckerberg. Yes, she’s Mark Zuckerberg’s sister.
17. Make Your Bed
Making your bed in the morning, and doing a quick two-minute wipe down in your kitchen at night, will make you feel better and in control of your life. Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, says her research for the book revealed that bed-making is one of the keystone habits of happy people.
18. Look Through Old photos
Prepare some snacks or some tea and canapés ala afternoon high-tea, if you’re feeling fancy. Reminisce the good old days with a friend, your mom or sis. Remembering your crazy antics, and most embarrassing moments caught on camera will fill you with nostalgic memories and drive away loneliness.
19. Get A Camera
Get a camera, then go out and start taking beautiful pictures of things around you. A sunset, a barking dog, or a laughing baby—filling your life with beautiful things can take your mind off of loneliness.
20. Attend Classes For A Fun New Exercise Air Yoga, Pole Dancing, Or Trampoline Jumping
The exact exercise doesn’t matter. The point is to get yourself moving, while trying something new in the supportive environment of a group class.
21. Start A 5-Minute Gratitude Journal
It’s hard to feel down when you know that you have a lot to be thankful for. When you don’t know what to be thankful for, just write what you feel. Sometimes, it can help you identify why you feel lonely in the first place.
22. Watch Inspiring Ted Talks
Ted Talks are inspiring and informative. I don’t know why, but watching a few Ted Talks really help when I feel lonely and helpless. Some of my favorites are: “Connected, but alone?” by Sherry Turkle, and “Success, failure and the drive to keep creating” by Elizabeth Glibert.
23. Plan A holiday
Nothing beats loneliness and overwhelm planning a great holiday vacation. Looking up flights, hotel deals and stuff to do on a random faraway location will boost your spirits and steer your mind off your negative thoughts. You don’t really need to book a trip, sometimes the act of planning for one is enough.
24. Create Something New
Wondering how to not feel lonely, when you actually prefer to be alone? Getting bored is a prerequisite of feeling lonely. And what’s one of the main causes of getting bored? Having nothing to do. So keep yourself occupied! Try a new recipe. Create a scrapbook. Finish that DIY project you’ve been postponing for so long.
25. Do Something Craaazy
Dress up a tourist, and do all the cheesy touristy things in your city. Eat the local delicacy, tour the crowded tourist spots and explore new locations you’ve never heard of.
How Do You Deal With Loneliness?
Do you have other tips on fighting loneliness? Share them with me @CharleyWrites or comment below.
Photo credits: Daniel Thornton, John, Wonderlane
Feeling Alone Status, Messages and Short Quotes About Loneliness
Feeling Alone Status : Most often people fall in great depression during loneliness. Feeling alone is a reason of being isolated from others and when anyone being more self-centered. When some too close betrayed then it’s really create burden and loneliness.
Here we are going to share with you some Best Feeling Alone Status, messages, short quotes and captions about loneliness which will be your company during this kind of situation.
Just scroll down and you will find the best compilation about feeling alone which will help you to express your deep loneliness.
Extremely Feeling Alone Status
Feeling lonely, however, is not a direct cause of being alone. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowd.
I hate when people say they miss you, but don’t make a effort to speak to you or see you.
I will wait till the day I can forget YOU or the day you realize you can’t forget Me.Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears, to make room for a heart full of smiles.
I keep telling myself that I don’t miss you, and that I don’t love you, hoping someday I’ll believe it.
Sometimes in life it’s good to be Alone… so that No jackass can hurt you.
No one can ever take away the loneliness you left me with!
Black Friday Bowling’ Because those pins look A LOT those bitches in front of me in line this morning.Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space.
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.
I’m tired of everyone telling me about their special person when I desperately want one of my own.
Watching a romantic movie and getting pissed off about your non-existent love life.
Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone.
Feeling Alone Video Status
Loneliness is a part of you life. It teaches us that we are not complete in ourselves.
I have taken life on the sad side, and it had helped me to understand many many failures, many utter ruins.Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space.
There are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone.
Touchy Feeling Alone Status
You can’t be lonely if you are in company of the person you’re alone with.
It isn’t the bad memories that make you sad, but the best ones that you can’t bring it back.
Loneliness is a part of you life. It teaches us that we are not complete in ourselves.
Why does it always have to be the one that you love the most hits you the hardest?
One day you’ll find someone who doesn’t care about your past because they want to be your future.
You May : Lonely Statuses and Messages
The worst feeling is not being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you could not forget.
People say never give up, but sometimes giving up is the best option because you realize you’re just wasting your time.
It sucks how some people use you when they need you and then they put you aside you didn’t even matter to them from the beginning.
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
I close my eyes, Cover my ears, I’m scared. Pinch my arms and say, It’s just a nightmare.I hope one day you find someone who makes flowers grow in even the saddest parts of you.
sometimes it’s hard to keep on going, especially if it’s without you.
The most painful memory.. when I walked away and you let me go.
Also Read : Sad Status
I’m tired of everyone telling me about their special person when I desperately want one of my own.
Usually, people think that I’m a strong, happy person but behind my smiles they just don’t know how much I’m in pain and almost broken.
I sometimes feel people enjoy me being this way, that they’ve won or are superior to me. Enjoy it then, I hope you’re happy now.
And if you lonely girl I could be your only friend. You got some shit to say I suggest you hold it in.
Short Loneliness Quotes and Sayings
Possessiveness comes when there is fear Of losing A loved One, not Because they don’t trust U.
Life changes in just an instance whether its good or bad you need to embrace the change and make the best of it.
This explains my love for books and my major perfectly…F. Scott Fitzgerald is pure perfection!I’ve endured the worst times alone. I don’t need anyone. If you’re in my life, it’s because I value you and want you there.
When I feel truly alone, with a sense of being lost, even empty inside, it is then I realize I have unknowingly moved away from God, so I move back.
Whenever you are stressed,eat chocolates,sweets etc, because when stressed is spelled backwards it becomes ‘DESSERTS’.
Standing alone doesn’t mean I am alone. It means I’m strong enough to handle things all by myself.
Never let little things such as what you were wearing that one day affect you, because in the longer run looking nice only gets you a inch of the way.
For my girls!! ?? May they ALWAYS feel Your presence but especially when they feel sad or lonely! A Prayer When You Feel Lonely.
I’m tired of getting my hopes up for things that will never happen.
Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruelest irony.
Sometimes it’s better to just quietly and privately miss someone than to let them know and still be ignored..!Forgive me for my mistakes, I’m still a kid learning the responsibility of being an adult.
Read More : Alone Status for Whatsapp
Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate.
It’s very easy to hurt someone and then say “sorry” but it’s really difficult to get hurt and then say – I m fine.
Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.
You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?
Feeling Alone Status and Messages
No words to define my status right now!
I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is the end up with people that make you feel all alone !
Don’t trust too much, don’t love too much, don’t care too much because that ‘too much’ will hurt you so much!
A broken relationship would make you feel more lonely than when you were single.
Being SINGLE is a good feeling, no drama, and no heartaches. But, sometimes it gets lonely and you miss that feeling of being taken.What is the point of you trying to get back in contact with me when you really have no interest or when you feel you cant be honest with me?
Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.
Sometimes all you ever want is someone to want and need you as much as you want and need them.
It hurts the worst when the person that made you feel so special yesterday, makes you feel so unwanted today.
It must be really sad to not be able to do something you love as the years go by.
I’m feeling a little lonely and unloved…I think I will go to the airport and go through a TSA pat down just to get a little action!
Almost every time someone hears my voice they leave, I am feeling it tonight!
Need More : Being Single Status
Why I turn on the TV: 10% to watch shows. 90% to use it as background noise so I feel less lonely while I’m on the Internet.
A thousand words couldn’t bring you back… I know this because I tried, neither could a thousand tears… I know this because I cried, you left behind a broken heart and happy memories too. but I never wanted memories. I only wanted you.
Sometimes when I say – I am okay. I want someone Too look me in the eyes Hug me tight and say – I know you’re not.
The only way is to move on, because if you don’t you’ll be suck where you are.
Dear, we hope that you have find these feeling alone status helpful. Though it’s hard to control thyself during this kind of circumstances but you may try some Inspirational Uplifting Quotes and famous motivational sayings to get relief and strengthen yourself.
What To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely, Lost And Depressed
Everyone gets lonely sometimes, but it’s hard to cope when feelings of worthlessness and loneliness persist.
You may begin to lose hope for the future and find it hard to enjoy any aspect of life. Perhaps you’ve tried and failed to find solutions, and you worry that you’ll continue to feel this sad forever.
This is a horrible position to be in, but the good news is that it is resolvable.
Overcoming loneliness requires thought and effort, but it is certainly possible.
Whether you consistently feel depressed, you’re trying to overcome the loneliness of being single or you don’t quite know why you feel lost at the moment, there are things you can do to improve the situation. This guide could help you understand yourself better and support you in figuring out what to do when you feel lonely.
Symptoms Of Loneliness And Depression
To learn how to stop feeling lonely and depressed, you first need a good grasp of the nature of loneliness. This knowledge can ultimately help you figure out what is making you sad and how to address it.
Going through the following list can function as a kind of “loneliness test.”
… no matter how much you sleep. Research suggests that if you’re lonely, you’re more ly to suffer from fragmented sleep. This means you wake up more often during the night and don’t get enough deep rest.
(TIP: These tips may help you wake up happier and energized in the morning… Click here now.)
You catch every virus going, and it’s harder for you to recover from them. This is a response to physical changes caused by the way your stress levels increase when you’re lonely.
This may be with food, drugs, alcohol, shopping or anything else that distracts you from feeling low. One massive study on loneliness showed you’re ly to try and fill the void when you’re lonely, hoping that this one little bit of happiness will make up for the sadness you feel.
Sources of frustration, irritation, and sadness that once felt tolerable to you are now making you feel dreadful. This is one of the most common symptoms of loneliness and is an indication that your levels of resilience are low.You might find this surprising, but the latest science shows that loneliness can be socially contagious. One factor might be that if you and your friends are feeling lonely, you’re obviously not connecting with each other that well.
Depression isn’t always linked to loneliness symptoms. However, when it is, you may notice that you care less about personal maintenance, feel worthless, can’t concentrate, struggle with anxiety and/or no longer feel excited by previous passions.
Why Do I Feel Lonely? The Causes Of Loneliness
There are many reasons you might be feeling lost and lonely. There’s no one answer to the question of what causes loneliness. However, if you’re asking yourself “Why do I feel lonely?”, it might help you to understand some of the evolutionary and biological reasons why you’re having this unpleasant experience.
There are proven connections between your feelings of social isolation and everything from reduced heart health to decreased resistance to disease, so there’s an increasing amount of research on the origins of loneliness.
As it turns out, genetic data indicates you can inherit loneliness from a parent. The inheritance rate is estimated at just under 50%.
So, if you have a lonely parent, some of your emotional turmoil might have more to do with biology than context.
However, don’t underestimate the significant role that nurture plays in your loneliness. Studies also show that even if you’re genetically identical to another person, you’ll feel lonelier if you have less social support.
There are two key points for you to take away here:
- You might be unlucky enough to have a genetic predisposition to loneliness.
- Controlling factors in your environment can have a powerful impact on whether you remain lonely.
4 Reasons You Feel Lonely Even Though You Have Friends
If you have friends, you might feel perplexed by your own loneliness. However, here are four reasons why you might feel lost and alone in spite of your friends.
- Your social circle is about quantity over quality. Perhaps you have plenty of people who’ll go out with you or have a laugh with you, but very few who feel very close to you.
- You’re naturally introverted. If you’re an introvert, you might not do much to connect with your friends… especially when you’re in a big group. Although sitting quietly is quite natural for an introvert, it can also be lonely.
- You’re highly defended. If you’ve been hurt in the past or just aren’t sure about letting people in, you might not let your friends really know you. And if you don’t show them your authentic self, they can’t give you the validation that can remedy loneliness.
- You spend too much time on social networks. Finally, if you constantly compare your life to those you see online, you’re bound to feel lonely and dissatisfied. Everyone puts an idealized form of themselves on social media, leaving others feeling they’re not really happy in comparison.
How To Stop Feeling Lonely And Overcome Depression (Steps To Take Right Now)
No matter why you feel lonely, it is possible to feel better. But what should you do, right now, to overcome depression? While you can’t miraculously fix every problem in your life overnight, you can learn to feel better today. Then, you can build on that foundation, gradually creating an everyday reality that actually feels good and right, not inauthentic and sad.
Here are some of the best ways to cope with loneliness and find a new sense of happiness.
Step 1: Accept It As A Feeling
Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of believing that loneliness is forever. You might feel lonely today, this week, or even this month, but it doesn’t mean you are alone or that you have no one who cares for you.
all feelings, loneliness is impermanent and it does not define who you are. Accept that you feel lonely, then focus on moving forward.
Step 2: Maintain And Enhance Relationships
If there are people in your life that you wish you were closer to, take steps to make that happen. Suggest plans, make contact, and stick to the arrangements you make.
This applies just as much to family members and friends of many years as it does to new people in your life. Do you know someone you’d to has a friend? Be brave enough to reach out. Often, they’ll be very glad you did.
Step 3: Disconnect From Social Media
As noted above, social media breeds loneliness by giving you false perceptions. Instead of scrolling through images of everyone’s best selves and happiest times, take a step back from your online life for a while.
Choose to only look at social networks once a day, or perhaps not at all for a month. See if this makes any difference to your loneliness, and ask yourself what you can learn from this.
Step 4: Refocus Your Attention
If you think about sadness and loneliness all the time, you will be sadder and lonelier. Do things that gently nudge your perspective towards the positive.
A gratitude journal is a great example. You can write in it every morning, setting you up for a more optimistic day ahead. Simply write down 5 things that make you feel grateful each day. This process challenges you to find and foster the good in your life.
Step 5: Learn To Enjoy Your Own Company
Sometimes, you might trick yourself into feeling lonely because you’ve internalized the message that you can only be happy if you’re with others. This isn’t true… there’s a lot of worth to enjoying your own company.
Experiment with ways of having a good time alone. Take a walk in nature (studies show this boosts mood and self-esteem), create something, exercise, plan a day-trip or treat yourself to your favorite meal. You may be surprised by how much better you feel.
Step 6: Get Your Comfort Zone
Finally, some of the best ways to combat loneliness involve deliberate trying brand new things. Whether you join a book group, learn a new skill at a class or go to a club dedicated to one of your major passions, you’re opening yourself up to the chance of new social connections. What do you have to lose? At worst, you’ll grow as a person and have new experiences under your belt.
Feeling Lonely In A Marriage? How To Deal With Loneliness In A Relationship
You might expect to find yourself feeling lonely after a breakup, but what about when you’re still with someone?
Feeling alone or feeling lonely in a relationship is more common than you’d think. Over time, people can drift apart or take each other for granted, and you might feel your spouse just doesn’t “get you” anymore.
Here are four tips on how to deal with loneliness in a relationship:
- Be the one to instigate change. If you’re feeling lonely, your partner is probably lonely too. Don’t get trapped in a stalemate where both of you are too afraid or resentful to make the first move. Instead, reach out, show interest and share feelings.
If you keep doing this, your partner will ly return the goodwill.
- Reconnect over good memories. No matter what things are now, there was a time when you and your spouse were happy. You can heal some of the loneliness in a marriage by revisiting those better times.
Trade favorite stories, look through photo albums or listen to the songs from your early dates.
- Empathize. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
How is your spouse feeling, and why? How might they see your situation and any points of contention? You can close some of the distance between you simply through this exercise of perspective-taking. And you can take your empathetic attitude into conversation with your spouse.
- Suggest small things.
You don’t need to go on grand vacations or move house to make your marriage better. Suggesting simple, manageable dates is a much more effective strategy for treating your loneliness. For example, cook a meal together, go for a walk or see a movie.
Powerful Daily Affirmations For Enjoying Your Own Company And Combatting Loneliness
Finally, if you’re feeling lonely or lost, try affirmations for loneliness:
- “I am at peace when I’m on my own.”
- “I can appreciate myself for everything that I am.”
- “Only I am responsible for my happiness.”
- “I am learning to love myself and my own company.”
- “I will trust my intuition.”
- “Being alone is rejuvenating me.”
- “I am finding myself by being on my own.”
- “I am creative, happy and at peace when I am on my own.”
- “We all learn new things about ourselves every day.”
- “I will take the time to truly understand myself.”
Feeling Lonely? Overcome Loneliness Today Using The Law Of Attraction
On one final note: It’s important to take every opportunity you can to help yourself get closer to ultimate self-love and acceptance.
As mentioned above, affirmations are a useful addition to any kind of daily routine to boost mood and self-confidence. You should also consider similar resources and exercises… Claim your FREE Law Of Attraction Tool Kit here and learn how to manifest your dream life effectively, including stopping feeling lonely, boosting your self-esteem and finding your own path.
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Four Lies We Believe When We Are Feeling Lonely
There is no denying that many roads of suffering are incredibly lonely ones. Yes, it is true that there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9), and often there are more people who can relate to our suffering than we realize. Nevertheless, these roads are often still lonely.
I remember when one of my children was younger and we began realizing that he struggled in ways that other children seemed not to. When the struggles turned into life-altering challenges, I left play-dates, stores, and church feeling increasingly lonely. I was on a scary journey that it seemed no one else could relate to.
As the struggle intensified, I found myself pulling away from those I cared about, staying home, and pushing down the stress and emotional turmoil building within me. In the confusion, fear, and uncertain future, I felt utterly alone.
Yes, there were those who tried to ask questions, offer their suggestions or ways they could relate, but it always fell short of any real solace.
No one could truly enter into the pain, heartache, and loneliness growing in my home and within my heart.
But do you know what I have unexpectedly found over these lonely years? A thankfulness for the lonely road I been given to travel.For with it has come a greater understanding of what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ and to know him not only as my Savior, but my comfort, sustainer, hope, and strength.
I believe it’s not until our worldly comforts are stripped away that we can begin to experience the true depth, length, and height of his love for us.
While I am thankful for what God is doing in me through this trial, the enemy has been hard at work to take advantage of my loneliness at every chance he gets. However, despite his attacks and lies, Christ has been using what the enemy intends for harm and is instead showing me how this path of loneliness is not outside of his perfect will and plan for me.
Let’s draw out some of the lies we are tempted to believe during times of loneliness.
I Am Alone…
The Lie: “Loneliness means I am alone.”
The Truth: “Loneliness strips away the external comfort of those around me, driving me to find comfort in Christ alone.”
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in our affliction… (2 Corinthians 1:3)
Yes, there are times when God allows us to feel alone in terms of the world around us.
However, despite our extreme dis of loneliness, God’s grace allows it for a season to drive us deeper into his Word and prayer in search of a hope-filled and life-giving oneness with him.
Christ knows we cannot find true and lasting comfort in anyone but himself, since he is the only one who is the God of all comfort.
By removing the earthly comfort of those around us, the Lord moves us in one of two directions: towards a deeper intimacy with our Savior, or towards the unveiling of an unrepentant heart, one which ultimately desires comfort more than Christ.
Brother or sister in Christ, if you feel alone in your suffering, thank God that he loves you enough to allow this time in your life to draw you nearer to him. He does not do this harshness, but desire to increase your faith and provide for you what only he can give.
No One Understands…
The Lie: “I am the only one who has suffered this, and no one will ever be able to understand my pain.”
The Truth: “Christ will not ask me to suffer anything he himself has not already suffered, and many who have gone before me have endured similar or harder roads than I have in order to bring me the comfort they received in Christ.”
One reason temptation arises is because we often don’t know many people, if any, in our immediate circle of friends, family, or even acquaintances who have been called to endure the specific burden that we’ve been given to carry.
Even if we do happen to know another person who can relate to our pain, different temperaments and levels of maturity in our faith provide for unique experiences and responses within the same general trial.
So, although the reality is that others may have lived through a similar form of suffering, in our eyes, no one can completely understand our own.
If the enemy can make us believe that there is truly no one who can understand, it will tempt us to shut others out, even those whom God has provided for us as support and encouragement.
The danger of this isolation is that it will lead us away from people surrounding us with truth when we need it most, sending us towards bitterness, depression, hardness, regret, and, ultimately, uselessness in the kingdom of God.
Therefore, we must remind ourselves of this truth:For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. (2 Corinthians 1:5-6)
Jesus Christ is the only one who can enter into our pain, fully and completely. He alone knows our hearts, temperaments, insecurities, fears, emotions, and desires.
So we fight the temptation to withdraw by first realizing that Christ alone can fill the deep holes left by the heartaches of life. When we realize that only Christ can bring us true and eternal comfort, we free people from having to meet our expectations.
And when we free people from meeting our expectations, our eyes are opened to the gift of the body of Christ and his provision of comfort given through his people.
Our Savior does not comfort us by cheering us on from a distance. Instead, he comforts us with the assurance of our salvation, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the body of Christ, providing us with strength, courage, and boldness.
God Must Not Be Loving…
The Lie: “A loving God wouldn’t make me take such a lonely road. If he really loves me, he will always provide support, encouragement, and understanding from those around me.”
The Truth: “A loving God sent his own Son down the loneliest road ever known to man so that I would never have to walk any road alone.”
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. (Hebrews 12:3)
Apart from the grace of Jesus Christ, none of our suffering in this life would have any purpose, value, or hope.
But because of the gospel, it does! So, rather than seeing these seasons of loneliness as our enemy and something to avoid at all cost, we can see it as a privilege and calling to walk the lonely road of Calvary with our Savior.
He allows us to experience glimpses of the path he walked so that we can also experience the great comfort and reward that will be ours for eternity in him.
I Don’t Have Enough Faith…
The Lie: “If I feel alone, I must not have enough faith.”
The Truth: “Holding fast to Jesus despite loneliness proclaims to the those around me that he is worth the lonely path I walk.
It is a beautiful, Christ-glorifying picture of faith in my Savior, who walked the painful and lonely road to Calvary for my salvation, hope, and comfort.
It is an honor and a privilege to be called to walk in his footsteps because it assures me that I am a child of God.”
Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. (John 16:32-33)Even the loneliness we experience on these painful roads is ordained by the loving hand of God. Although we feel alone, we never truly are abandoned.
He allows these seasons to produce in his children endurance, strength, unwavering faith, and exclusivity for the gospel.
Loneliness reminds us that this world is not our home, that we have been commissioned for the spread of the gospel in the place and time marked out for us.
Loneliness is not hopelessness and does not defeat us but instead empowers us to know Christ more and make him known to those around us.
Believer, I am well aware that there are some incredibly painful, lonely roads that some of us are asked to walk.
I have experienced this in a very real and raw way in my own life, so I do not say these things to simply “teach” the correct way to handle the loneliness many of us feel.
My hope is that you will be encouraged, strengthened, and determined not to give way to the lies of the loneliness of pain, allowing it instead to magnify the gospel in your life.
Have you found yourself believing any of these lies in your own season of loneliness?
Feeling lonely is a problem singles can overcome
Feeling lonely may be the toughest problem singles have to face.
In many ways, today's culture increases loneliness. We're each tuned in to our electronic devices, but a point comes when you long for the companionship and caring of another human being. Plastic and steel are no substitute for love.
When you're alone and depressed, there's a real danger of a snowball effect. Before you know it, one sad thought leads to another, and soon you're pessmistic about yourself and your prospects in life.
Don't go down that road
Depression is an enemy we've all faced. It creeps up on you slowly, without warning. It may begin with feeling lonely, then progress to the conclusion that you have no hope. Before you know it, you're completely miserable.
This unhealthy chain reaction can happen so naturally that you're convinced it's right. You find yourself agreeing with this gloomy outlook, as if it's inevitable.
Deep inside, you know you shouldn't let yourself go down that self-critical road, but you don't make any serious effort to stop it.
Avoidance as a way of life
Feeling lonely is a fact we'd rather not deal with–at least in any meaningful way. We see it as a sign of weakness.
You would never admit your loneliness to anyone else, especially if you're a man.
The sad truth is that in some way, every human being, married or single, knows some form of loneliness. It's the epidemic of our times, and everybody has caught it.So we look for distractions. Clubs are popular, with loud music and lots of other lonely souls, acting as if they've got it all together. Most of them take the edge off with alcohol, or even cocaine, trying to convince others they're having fun instead of trying to escape the pain. Beneath the glitter, it's a sickening charade.
Then there are careers. If we can't get the love and attention we long for, we may pour our energies into our career, looking for affirmation from our boss or relatives and friends. But eventually that rings hollow too.
Materialism has become the “respectable” solution to feeling lonely. It's not illegal, drugs, and it's not immoral, alcohol. Or is it?
With the average American household owing $9,659 in credit card debt, I'd say that comes pretty close to immoral.
WWJD about loneliness?
What would Jesus do about loneliness? We don't have to speculate, because the Bible tells us.
Feeling lonely was a temptation he faced many times, and yet he didn't fall into sin when that emotion seized him.
Most often, Jesus prayed, seeking intimate fellowship with his heavenly Father and guidance from the Holy Spirit. He understood, better than we do, that feely lonely is not a sin, but an inescapable part of the human condition.
Jesus also nurtured his relationships with his friends. Besides the apostles, he had friends Lazarus, and Lazarus' two sisters, Martha and Mary. Their relationship was not marked by trying to avoid reality, but by genuine love and compassion for each other.
We can bring our friendships to that deeper level too, rising above shallow acquaintances to an authentic desire to help the other person.
Getting past dread and panic
Feeling lonely is not an invitation to beat yourself up. When you recognize that, you'll be able to catch yourself before that happens.
Don't believe that you're powerless when loneliness strikes. Remember that you do have control over your emotions, if you're objective enough to see what's happening.
Don't catastrophize. Thinking that your life and situation are hopeless is a skewed assumption emotion, not facts. Remember that your feelings may be strong, but they can't always be trusted.Finally, when you're feeling lonely, go to God in prayer, and ask him to show you the situation realistically. Ask him to show you effective solutions, and also ask him for the courage to act.
Often we know what we need to do, but we're afraid to do it. When that action agrees with God's ways, believe that he will give you the strength to do the right thing.
Feeling lonely may be inevitable, but it doesn't have to unsolvable.
How to beat loneliness
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